Lord of Murder

I own nothing

"Raise a wall, against the wind that shall fall. Close the four cardinal gates. Come out from the crown. Rotate the three-branched road reaching the Kingdom.
– I shall declare here. Your body shall serve under me. My fate shall be with your sword. Submit to the beckoning of the Holy Grail. If you will submit to this will and this reason… then answer!
– An oath shall be sworn here! I shall attain all virtues of all of Heaven. I shall have dominion over all evils of all of Hell! – From the Seventh Heaven, attended to by three great words of power, come forth from the ring of restraint, Protector of the Balance!"

The summoning circle flashed, illuminating the dark basement of the Matou mansion.

Zouken frowned as the Servant he summoned materialized...there was a strong scent of blood in the air for some reason, but it quickly dissipated.

"Are you my master?"

The old man didn't answer as he observed the Servant he summoned "You are not Hassan-i-Sabbah" stated the worm.

"Can't say that I am" smiled the Servant as he bowed curtly "If its not too much to ask for, I would like to keep my real name a secret. But you don't have to worry about my skill, I can assure you that I'm more than capable to serve as this war's assassin."

Zouken snorted "We shall see. As of now I am your master, don't disappoint me."

"Wouldn't dream of it" said Assassin "so what are my orders?"

"Keep out of everyone's sight" said the old man as he turned around and went for the basement door "conceal your presence and wait until the competition is trimmed down sufficiently."

"Imprisonment"

Zouken didn't even reach the door handle before he disappeared from the face of the world, the spell trapping him in a indestructible temporal prison.

The frowning Assassin lower his hand "How boring. I didn't come here to stay on the sidelines."

Since he couldn't support his form without a master the Servants started to chant another spell – "Wish."

XXX

Some time later...

Assassin yawned as he watched Archer face against the red haired kid, breaking his sword for the umpteenth time.

Is he trying to talk the kid into submission or something? wondered the Bhaalspawn, since Archer certainly wasn't fighting like someone who wanted his opponent dead. He could only assume that the other Servant was only acting as if he wanted to kill the child, so far he had more then enough opportunities to eliminate him. The kid was nowhere near his level of swordsmanship and every time his blades broke, there was a short window that his opponent could have exploited.

Having seen enough Assassin sighed and cast a few spell's on himself before he dropped his concealment.

His appearance instantly alerted the other side.

"And who are you?" inquired Archer as he glanced at the newcomer.

"Ah yes, the introductions" said the Bhaalspawn "Servant Assassin, here to play."

Both Saber and Archer scowled at the man.

"And why are you here?" asked the blond woman as she summoned Excalibur into her hand.

"Well, since I finished with the blond sword spammer, I though about cleaning up here" was his reply.

Saber tensed at the remark "You defeated Gilgamesh?"

"It was rather easy" shrugged the newcomer as he grabbed the Axe of Unyielding and summoned a Black Blade of Disaster in his other hand.

Saber was the first to react as she rushed to intercept the Assassin "You are interrupting!"

Thanks to his True Seeing, the Bhaalspawn had no problem seeing Excalibur and easily blocked the strike with his axe, he then stabbed the blond woman in the chest.

"Saber!" shouted Shirou as he rushed to help her, but it was already too late...the Black Blade of Disaster did its part and Saber disappeared in a burst of prana.

Exploiting the moment Archer appeared behind the newcomer and slashed him with his swords...but to his amazement his blade simply bounced of.

Assassin grinned, though it was hidden by his helmet. Thanks to his ordeal in Hell he was immune to normal weapons and even those with minor enchantments...but his spell Protection from Magical Weapons made him also immune to anything Servants possessed.

The one possible exception was the golden boy, but then again his Spike Trap's made sure that the guy wont make any stunts like those he performed on Berserker.

Since he didn't need to bother with defense, he went onto the offensive. Archer hissed as he was pushed back by what was supposed to be the weakest class in the Holy Grail War.

Assassin's shouldn't be this good! Who is this guy?! Wondered Archer as he tried to keep some distance from his opponent...regrettably the Improved Haste spell made sure the Assassin's speed was far greater than his own.

The Bhaalspawn didn't even bother as he noticed the kid rushing after them, he was about to finish off the last Servant when suddenly a bright flash blinded him.

Archer used that moment to get some distance between them, not that it would do him any good.

Assassin glared at the one who blinded him and saw that it was the mage girl...Rum? Rim? Something like that. The girl launched another spell but it again harmlessly bounced off his extremely high Magic Resistance.

"I am the bone of my sword
Steel is my body and fire is my blood
I have created over a thousand blades
Unknown to Death, Nor known to Life
Have withstood pain to create many weapons
Yet, those hands will never hold anything
So as I pray, unlimited blade works."

Suddenly the world around him changed as Archer Reality Marble took effect.

Assassin found himself in a lifeless world, with huge cogs visible in the sky.

"What's this? Your sword dumping ground?" asked the Bhaalspawn as he kicked a blade sticking out of the ground.

His opponent didn't respond before raining down a bazillion swords on his head...and they all bounced off harmlessly from his protections.

"Pointless..." said the Bhaalspawn as he spread his arms wide.

Again the world started to distort and change.

Archers eyes widened in fear as his world was replaced by a hellish place..the ground under his feet turned into flesh and the air reeked of blood.

"Welcome to my world!" said the Assassin and disappeared from sight.

Even as Archer though he had enough space between them, Assassin used a Dimensional Door to appear behind the Servant and decapitate him with his axe.

"No! Archer!" shrieked the female mage, Shirou gaping as the servants body exploded into prana...

"Rin! Can you get us out of here?!" growled the boy as he took a defensive stance in front of the girl as she hurled another spell at the last Servant.

Too bad I took Balduran's Cloak instead of the Cloak of Mirroring...would be more fun though the Assassin as he pointed his hand at the duo "Time Stop."

Once time resumed normally the duo didn't even have a chance to blink as the dozen of Skull Trap's around them exploded.

"Well, so much for that" mused Assassin as he teleported out of his pocket plane, leaving the imp's to feast on the remains. Apparently there was someone named Zelretch back on that world, and he was interested how hard would it be to kill him...

In the end, it was simply his job to end the lives of mortals and immortals alike.

THE END

A/N:

This isn't ranting on Fate as much as me being stuck with a plot bunny but simply cant write anything better than a oneshot. Setting is there, conflict is there but I cant think of a reason why the Bhaalspawn would participate beside him being bored.

Because Servants get knowledge about the world they arrive in, culture-shock falls into the water.

Optimized D&D (rulebooks - the highest canon) is insanely powerful, one of the most powerful universes if used logically (Larloch is an optimized wizard in all but name) and that makes combat pointless.

What can I say, a Fighter/Mage/Thief without a EXP limit is broken.

So that leaves me with romance which I cant write if you killed me.