Midgar People's Court
File 1 – It's All About Ownership!
Rufus: Must I seriously go through with this?
Reno: Well, you are getting paid.
Rufus: …Right! I almost forgot…
Elena: Well, you're supposed to go up now. I think they're all waiting.
Rufus: …This is my worst nightmare. ::walks up on the chair place thingy::
Announcer: Sometime in 2000. Welcome to Midgar People's Court. Where justice is only a word…Anyhow, here is your "honorable" judge, Mr. Rufus Shinra. On Case # 1, Stolen Items.
Rufus: ::sits down in chair and sighs:: So, what am I dealing with?
Reno: Hi, Sir…Boss. Judge guy, whatever your name is now. I'm here as an officer guy, if they get in your way, I'll shoot them. ::holds up a shotgun::
Rufus: Too vile.
Reno: I'll…shock them to death? ::holds up an electric rod::
Rufus: Too…well, do whatever you want.
Reno: Yes, sir.
Rufus: ::looks up and shrieks:: AVALANCHE?
Reno: Yes, first case, stolen items. And you HAVE to go along with the case no matter what. The Defendant, is Yuffie Kisaragi. The Plaintiff, is Cloud Strife. And he has brought Tifa Lockheart, Barret Wallace and Red…XIII…Wait a second! What the hell!! What kind of name is Red XIII?!
Rufus: ::sighs:: What's the problem? Short swordsman, speak now.
Cloud: ::looks at Rufus, puzzled:: What? You mean me?!
Rufus: ::grins fakely:: Why yes! Of course. Everyone looks so tall to you, don't they! Oh, he heck! Cait Sith, Red XIII they're taller than you! Palmer, yes I'm talking about the fat man, is taller than you!…Now what's the case.
Cloud: ::grumbles:: Well…Yuffie over there, stole 3 summon materia from me and 5 magic materia, too. She claims not having them, instead…she stuffs her pants with them! ::glares at Yuffie::
Yuffie: Uh, grow up, Cloud! I'd never do that!
Cloud: Tell her to walk over to the wall.
Rufus: Walk over to the wall.
Yuffie: ::grumbles while walking to the wall; her pants are all big and puffy and she's walking stiffly. She quickly runs back while Odin, the summon drops from her pants::
Cloud: ::picks it up:: Well, well…this is Odin. The summon I got 5 weeks ago…You remember don't you?
Yuffie: Alright, shut up!
Rufus: Order in the court!…Now, Yuffie. This case is simple, why don't you…just…give…the materia…back to Cloud?! It would make all our lives a heck of a lot more easier!
Yuffie: Materia hunters don't give back what they've hunted for!
Cloud: Lies! All lies! You haven't hunted at all!
Yuffie: Well, you wouldn't know! I always go when no one's looking!
Cloud: Like when?!
Rufus: Silence, already!
Reno: So what're you gonna do about it….Can I shock them?
Rufus: No, not yet, anyhow…uh, Would the short swordsman please step down from the…wooden thing you're standing on.
Cloud: ::looks down:: You mean the floor?
Rufus: Oh never mind! Would the punching fiend please step up.
Tifa: ::gets up:: D-Does he mean me?
Rufus: ::grins::
Tifa: ::grumbles:: So…what can I say?
Rufus: Where to begin? Your case seems awful.
Tifa: Well, your…honor…uh, Yuffie here stole my precious summon materia. It was the best I had! Well, not only that she stole 5 magic, 2 command and 4 support materia from me in the last week!
Rufus: And what was the name of the summon materia?
Tifa: Knights of the Round.
Rufus: Ah…
Reno: ::whispering:: Opportunities, boss…sir…judge guy, or whatever you are now. So, should we take it? We can shoot her, and the materia hunter…and the puppy, and we can get all their materia! How about it?
Rufus: Please, Reno. I'm in the middle of a case…we can save plotting after the case….Uh, so, Yuffie. Tell us your side of this story.
Yuffie: Well, I told you! I'm a materia hunter! And no hunter I've ever known taken back what they hunted!
Cloud: Because you never knew any!
Yuffie: ::grumbles::
Rufus: Silence, shorty!…Continue…
Yuffie: Right, well-
Voice: STOP!!! STOP THIS NOW!!!
Rufus: You dare interrupt me!!…You owe me 5 thousand gil, what is it?
Godo: I'm Godo, Yuffie's father. I'm on her side…not the side she calls friends.
Yuffie: ::sticks out her tongue at Cloud::
Rufus: So, what do you have to say, that will add to this…rather pointless conversation?
Godo: Materia…the bounty of our land, Wutai. My daughter, was just trying to collect materia to save out home land.
Tifa: That doesn't make any sense what so ever.
Godo: ::grumbles:: Anyhow, Wutai needs materia. We are a poor town and need fighters. But without, we need materia to help the weak become strong.
Reno: ::sniffs and wipes his eyes::
Rufus: ::sniffs:: You got me there…But that will not change my mind about siding. Tifa, why don't you tell us something useful, hmmm?
Tifa: Okay, well…::brings out a plastic bag with shimmering dust in it::
Yuffie: ::gasps; grumbles::
Tifa: This is crushed materia, Mako actually. Yuffie claims she needs the materia, then she crushes it, just for amusement.
Rufus: ::clears his throat::
Reno: ::takes the bag from Tifa:: …This is Mako alright. Crushed materia.
Rufus: That settles it! Yuffie, give back the materia you stole from Tifa and Cloud. Then-
Red XIII: Wait!
Rufus: Okay, the red puppy wants to add to our pointless conversation! Go ahead.
Red XIII: I've been silent, ready to strike when the time is right. ::rolls out a red summon materia:: Here Tifa, this belongs to you.
Tifa: ::gasps:: Knights of the Round?! ::grabs it::
Red XIII: I found it in the basement with this paper floating around it. ::hands it to Reno::
Reno: ::reads it:: …Lotto 649?
Red XIII: No, you idiot! Read the other side!
Reno: …C-Crushing materia schemes…steal Knights of the Round…crush on Shinra's lawn!! This is insane! Let's sue!
Rufus: We can't do that. We're already in the court and I, being the judge, can not sue the defendant…that doesn't sound right…
Yuffie: So, you will let me go, huh? Please!! I don't wanna go to jail!
Rufus: You won't…we have a far more worse punishment for you! Reno, take her in…the room.
Reno: Okay, sir-
Rufus: And pick up a guitar on the way there.
Reno: WHAT?!
Rufus: You'll be listening to Reno singing 'Stayin' Alive' by the Bee Gees, while playing wrong notes on the guitar! Won't that be fun?
Reno: You mean, I have to sing…like them? With the high-pitched voices!!!…You have a sick mind!
Rufus: Hurry up, I have more cases to take care of!
Reno: ::mopes while dragging Yuffie into a room, carrying a guitar::
Yuffie: Daddy!!
Godo: No, please! I'll risk my life for my daughter!
Rufus: No need. Both of you will be facing the punishment! ::snaps::
Reno: ::comes back in and takes Godo with him::
Godo: MERCY, PLEASE!!
Rufus: Case closed!…That was easy enough!…Now, I wonder how much I'm getting paid…::walks off::
THE END-…Huh?
BACKSTAGE
Reno: ::singing in high pitch while strumming his guitar:: Stayin' aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiive! Stayin' alive!
Yuffie: ::strapped to a wall:: WELL, HEY! NO NEED SINGING THAT! I'LL BE DEAD BY THE END OF THIS VERSE!!
Godo: ::strapped to a wall; whimpering:: Someone just KILL me now!
Reno: Stayin' Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!!!
Godo: Have mercy!!
Yuffie: I'll never steal materia again!
Godo: I wanna go to jail!
Yuffie: Skydiving from Pluto is easier than listening to this!!
Yuffie and Godo: AAAAAAHHH!!!!
THE END! ^_^
Author's Note: Tell me if you like it! Tell me if you think I should write another one of these! Review Please?
MIDGAR PEOPLE'S COURT
Where Justice is only a word!