After an extreme lack of writers motivation (when ever you see 'oneshots from me.. I'm struggling!) this story popped into my head. It's is AU from season 3.5, and starts in the middle of the story. I will be using the album 'Foiled' from Blue October which got me through the worst break up of my life. Not all songs fit perfectly, but the sentiment is there. Some lyrics will be at the beginning of the story and I will put them all at the end. I highly recommend listening to these songs or at least trying too. Especially 'Falling in the Ocean' 'What if we could' 'She's my ride home' and 'Hate me' since they are true Michael/Fiona songs. If anyone makes those little video's that I someday want to be able to make (when I grow up) please use one or two of those!

This story is for Joseph.. where ever you may find him... always.

So here we go:

'Long way back' never happened
Fiona really left...

…...

Congratulations

…...

My mind it kind of goes fast
I try to slow it down for you
I think I'd love to take a drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years
my heart

Ireland 2011

The man had caught the attention of every woman in the market. They were eying him, whispering at the new comer with unabashed curiosity.

He stood up a little straighter, reminding himself he had to do this. He had to see her. He had to make sure she was alright. That she had forgiven him. That she knew she wasn't second best.

"Can I help ya?" The man who owned the market finally asked, his eyebrow arching as he spoke his thick accent making something in his gut clench. "Ya look a little lost James Bond."

His eyes became slits. How could this man at a market in the middle of fucking no where Ireland-.

"What?"

"James Bond. It's a movie." The man looked at him like he was insane. "Shaken not stirred.. License to kill? Guy wears a fancy suit and struts around like he belongs in places he don't. Not much of a movie buff ah?"

"No.." The irony was almost too damn much for him to take. His day had been ironic enough.

When he had finally stumbled upon one of Fiona's 'acquaintances' who'd speak to him, she'd made a smug face and looked damn pleased to tell the stranger Fi's secrets.

"She doesn't live around here anymore, and she's not Glenanne anymore either. Someone said she went soft and became a Culchie outside Kilkenny."

It had taken him half the day to remember what the hell a 'culchie' was, and when he did he couldn't see Fiona becoming one.

"So.." The man's loud voice brought him out his thoughts again. "As I was sayin' are you lost?"

"No." He said softly. "I'm looking for a woman."

"What kinda woman you lookin' for?" Piped up one of the oglers from the fruit stand. He smiled, feeling the surprise heat of pink in his cheeks. It must have been the accent.

"I um.. an old friend from when I went to school in Dublin. I'm afraid I don't know her married name." He sighed heavily. "Her name is Fiona. She's from Belfast."

"That's the kind you're looking for then?" The woman balked. "That's what suits your fancy? Mentellers?"

"Colleen enough." The market owner grumbled before turning back to look at Michael. "Fiona's house is up in the hills. Follow this road up and go left at the fork."

"Thank you." He whispered.

"But I'd be careful. She doesn't take too kindly to strangers."

Michael felt his lips twitch up.

"She never did." He breathed, before nodding at the man and starting towards the house.

"Ain't that something? Some Fine Thing shows up and he's hot for the Widow McBride!"

The woman's words reached him and he actually stumbled. His mind going in a million different directions. Was it possible Fiona actually met and married a man who was actually named McBride and actually from Kilkenny?

He wanted to say no, but an old man in a country market had just unknowingly identified him as a spy. So who knew. He kept walking.

He made his way up the hill, glancing up at the house on the left. Tactically sound position, widows shuttered from the inside. Very Fiona. He swallowed hard, looking around again (mainly for cover if she decided to open fire) before warily lifting his fist to knock on the door.

There was movement inside and he braced himself when the locks on the door started to slide back and it opened just enough, poking her head out. Her bright eyes widened when they met his, her lips parting slowly.

"Fi." It felt right on his lips, the familiar look flickered in her eyes.

"What are you-.?" She whispered.

"Can I come in?"

"Are you alright?" She asked carefully, looking him over for mortal wounds.

"Yeah." He breathed.

"You're sure?" She repeated, putting more of her body in the crack of the door, but refusing to open it further.

"Yes." He said firmly. "I'm fine."

"Okay then." She whispered before pulling her body from the frame and closing the big wooden thing with a thud.

Michael stood there for a few seconds with his eyebrows creased.

"Fi." He called softly.

The only answer was the the sound of turning locks.

…...

and i can't change this
i can never take it back
but now i can't change your mind
(you left me)
and i can't make this
i can never take this back
but now i can't change your mind
can't change your mind
(you left me)

…...

"Fiona I just want to talk to you." Michael sighed loudly from his spot on Fiona's front stoop, his back against the heavy locked door. "I came a really long way to talk to you."

Silence.

"It's getting cold, Fiona." He called as a matter of fact. "I'd forgotten how cold it can get here at night." He listened, pressing his head back and letting it roll to the side against the barrier between them. "I'd forgotten how cold anywhere can get at night."

He thought he heard her sigh and, not for the first time in the hour he'd been sitting there, he wondered if she was sitting with her back to the other side of the door.

"Fiona open the door." It was a plea.

He heard a shuffle behind him before the locks of the door slid and it cracked open. He could hear her stomp away. Carefully he pushed at it until he could see her standing in the doorway between two rooms, her arms wrapped firmly around her slim shoulders. He cautiously took a step in the door.

"What are you doing here Michael?" She sniffed, refusing to turn around.

"I just want to talk to you." He told her softly.

"You came all the way from God knows where to talk?" She swung around and he braced for impact.

"I came all the way from Miami.." He told her firmly. "To.. yes.. to-." She glared at him stubbornly with her glassy red rimmed eyes. She'd sat on the other side of the door and cried? He grunted, his fingers tensing and releasing. "I wanted to-."

"You wanted to what?" She demanded.

"I wanted to see you. I needed to just-." He winced, before dropping into the closest chair and smashing his hands against his face. This was not going as planned. "Damn it."

"Are you sure you're alright?" Her soft worry was closer than he'd realized. Michael lifted his face, peering up at her before nodding. He watched her slim fingers reach out and carefully brush his hair back from his temple. "Jesus, Michael your freezing." He smiled at her breathy exclamation.

"I told you." He repeated warmly, the left side of his face twisting up slightly.

"It healed nicely." She slid her thumb across his cheekbone over the ragged scar. The last time she'd seen it it had been purple and angry with thick stitches. He watched her carefully like she could disappear at any moment. Fiona's body seemed to exhale it's tensions, shuddering lightly before she reluctantly began to pull her touch from him.

"Fi." He lifted his hand slowly folding his fingers around her wrist. "Please."

"Why are you here Michael?"

"Some woman in Belfast said you got married." He breathed. "She said you moved to Kilkenny. Then the women in the market called you Widow McBride and now I don't know what's-."

"It seemed fitting." Fiona sniffed with a sad grin. "Don't you think?" Westen looked at her arm where his fingers wound around hers. No wedding ring, no diamonds, no baby's birthstone, none of the heart wrenching things he'd been imagining since leaving Belfast. "I came here to mourn the loss of my love. Might as well give myself a nice cover story. Right Michael?"

"You didn't loose me." He breathed softly, letting her go. "You left me."

She stood statue still her green eyes, sad and damp, on his.

"You left me first." She arched an eyebrow and a tear slipped down her cheek. "I just had the good graces to actually go away."

His jaw jerked to the side but he kept his eyes on hers. The last time she was this close was still blurry and achy in his confused head.

The only clear moment were three years ago, her in his loft, asking about her H&K. The sad look of finality on her face when he brought it to her the next day. The soft pop of her lips on his before she loaded the last of her things in the back of her rental and drove away from him.

"I miss you." His voice sounded far more desperate than he'd have liked. "I miss you Fiona."

Her mouth twitched as more tears fell.

"I miss you too, Michael." She took a deep breath and set her shoulders. "Did you come here to tell me you missed me?"

"No." He stood up slowly, before hesitantly putting his hands on her shoulders. "I came to ask you to come home."

…...

Congratulations

is that seat taken
congratulations
would you like to take a walk with me
my mind it kind of goes fast
i try to slow it down for you
i think i'd love to take a drive
i want to give you something
i've been wanting to give to you for years
my heart
my heart, my pain won't cover up
you left me.. hu hu hu hu
my heart won't take this cover up
you left me.. hu hu hu hu
i came to see the light in my best friend
you seemed as happy as you'd ever been
my chance of being open was broken
and now you're mrs. him.
my words they don't come out right
but i'll try to say i'm happy for you
i think i'm going to take that drive
i want to give you something
i have wanted to give to you for years
my heart
my heart, my pain won't cover up
you left me.. hu hu hu hu
my heart
my heart won't take this cover up
you left me.. hu hu hu hu
and i can't change this
i can never take it back
but now i can't change your mind
(you left me)
and i can't this
i can never take this back
but now i can't change your mind
can't change your mind
(you left me)
can't change you mind
(you left me)
(you left me)
(you left me)
(you left me)
go away
make it go away
please.