Hey! Lol, I got this afternoon and was inspired to write, so this is a really short story about Nobu's thoughts about Hatchi leaving him. This is my first Nana story (or any kind really...) in forever, so sorry if I make any mistakes. Enjoy!

MyBeautifulDisgrace

disclaimer: everything (except my obsessive need to write, apparently) goes to the awesome Ai Yazawa

Nobu's POV

I sat with my guitar, trying to compose a new song.

'mor..ning…sick…ness?' the phone dropped, hitting the floor sounding like a thousand cannons.

'yes.' The phone sounded out in its fall towards the cement ocean. Those words cut deeper than any blade.

That was the moment my heart broke.

It was a year ago, and I'm sure they're happy now. I always knew she truly loved him. I knew what we had was just a fling, something to help her get over Takumi, but I didn't care. I still don't. My heart hasn't healed yet. I knew it couldn't be mine, but I kept denying it to myself over and over again. Even after she chose to stay with Takumi, I kept wishing and hoping for it to be mine. But it wasn't. Come to think of it, I've never seen it. I laughed to myself. Nana had seen it, but she never mentioned it to me, she knew it would hurt too much. We had an understanding that way, and it was something I was always grateful for. We would never hurt each other that way. Still, I think she knew what I was thinking. She saw the look in my eye every day, and the black circles under my tear-red eyes. Every thought I had went to hoping the child was mine.

'It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter! Just tell me anything, I'll believe you?'

'I'm sorry.'

That was the moment I died.

Even as I sit here I think of her; although I'm sure my thoughts are not returned. She was probably drinking tea in some Parisian café thinking about how her and Takumi were going to take a vacation to some far away country. I continued to strum my guitar, writing the song of my heart. It wasn't a mistake, we were young, we were foolish. I never regretted it, I wouldn't regret it even if she had chosen me over Takumi. But she didn't. I say the reason I haven't dated anyone is because I'm too busy writing music for BLAST, but it's not, it's because of her. I still loved her.

I finished writing the song and put away my guitar. I looked out at the stars. It was a beautiful summer night, the breeze passing in the wind. I wondered where she was now…