Chapter 1
Early in the girls dormitory Lily had received a letter from her Mother begging her to come home for good. Suddenly, Lily wasn't hungry anymore. Lily's Father had died her second year in a car accident. And now her Mother became ill. She had breast cancer and was starting to become frail. Lily's sister Petunia was studying at the University and was extremely busy with her studies and her Fiancé. Lily expected that her mom would ask her to come home too, but she would probably decline her mother's wishes.
Lily skipped breakfast this morning which happened rarely. She loved food and never wanted to miss it. Having a freaky fast metabolism she could handle eating more then any other girl. Instead of breakfast, Lily went up to the Headmaster, Dumbledore.
"Fudge Pops!" The gargoyle sprang to life and in its place swirled a staircase. Traveling up the stairs Lily's stomach clenched. Nervous about what the headmaster would say to her and wondering if she'd actually be able to ask him to leave Hogwarts. Before her hand knocked on the door she heard his voice, "Lily come in please." She mentally prepared herself for it, "you can do this. Just don't choke."
"Hello Headmaster." Lily's eyes fell onto his. "Lily, please have a seat" He gestured to the comfy red chair he conjured up. "Would you like a jelly bean? I assume you know jelly beans being muggle-born. A lot like burtie bots."
"No thanks" Lily replied "What do I owe this great visit? Surely you can't be in trouble. You didn't have Prefect patrols last night. I can't think of anything I did to deserve this wonderful visit from one of my favorite students."
"You're not making this any easier headmaster." Lily's eyes fell to the ground, starring at the detail in the stone, "My mother owled me this morning. She wants me to come home."
"Of course you can go home for Christmas, you've always been allowed to."
"No, she wants me home for good Sir." Dumbledore gave her an uncertain look. "You see, she has fallen very ill in the past few months. Muggle doctors don't give her that much longer to live. And she practically begged me to come home. I wouldn't feel right being here when she desperately needs me."
"I understand your situation. I too once faced the same dilemma. However, Lily I won't give your spot up. It will be a temporary leave of absence, even if you do not come back this year or next you will always be welcome at Hogwarts. You are one of the brightest witches in your year and perhaps the entire school. Please tell your mother I send her my regards." At Dumbledore's remarks Lily blushed. She never thought Dumbledore noticed her or if he did notice her ever think that highly of her.
"Thank you Sir and I will. But I do think you should give my spot to someone who can actually be here."
"I will not here of it. Besides I don't want to deal with a transfer student, they are far more complicated then dare I say the Maurders." There was a twinkle in his eyes, very compassionate and whole-heartily agreeable. "And Lily if I gave your spot you'd have no spot to come back to."
"Thank you professor" Lily's eyes locked with Dumbledore's. Lily made her way toward the wooden door. Her hand on the handle, she turned and gave a sad smile to him. "Oh and Lily will you stay till break?" Dumbledore inquired. "Yes Sir."
"Good. Come and see me the night before you get on the train." With a nod from Lily she left Dumbledore's office into quiet corridors.
As Lily walked by the Great Hall she heard loud conversations and people passing back and forth from the Hall and their common rooms. Lily didn't even notice James Potter standing next to the Great Hall doors. "Hey Evans!" He received no response. This wasn't normal. Normally he would at least get a rude comment or a hex if a teacher wasn't present.
Lily just kept walking head down, not believe she only have 3 days left at Hogwarts. Lily walked through the entrance hall and outside toward the Black Lake. James Potter went running after her. It wasn't like Lily to be quiet and depressing.
Lily came to the edge of the Lake and sat looking out toward Hogsmeade. Remembering everything that took place at Hogwarts the past 5 ½ years.
She didn't even realize how long she sat there. But she knew James had followed her outside but had said nothing to her. This wasn't like him. The arrogant toe rag, as he was commonly known as by Lily never left her alone or was quiet.
"Lily…" He actually sounds concern. She hadn't heard his concerned voice since her 2nd year when she found out her father had past away. Lily was crying down by the lake. Actually in the same spot they sat now.
Lily finally spoke, "I'm really going to miss this place, and it's beautiful."
"Yeah it is. We don't leave though for another year." James looked back to the castle with a spectacular grin on his face.
"I leave in 3 days for break. I doubt I'll be coming back." Tears glistened in her eyes. She thought they might tear over any second.
"Why are you okay? You're not sick are you?" James voice was worried and held a considerate tone.
"I'm fine, not sick." Lily spoke calmly.
"Are you graduating early? Congratulations Evans!"
"No, I'm not." A single tear streaked down her face. Thinking to herself she might never graduate.
"Did you get expelled? I didn't think they expelled anyone."
"No I didn't. You would get expelled before I ever would." Lily laughed wiping the tear from her face.
"Then what is it Evans?" There was still patience in his voice but it also held an anxious tone.
"I rather not say."
"Well what ever the reason is, just know we will all miss you. I'll think of you when McGonagall has no one to answer we'll waste so much time waiting for a correct answer,
"That's why you still have Remus."
"He doesn't know everything like you do. You'd be surprised how many he doesn't know."
Between James and Lily silence was frightful. They sat there for at least 15 minutes saying nothing just listen to the wind and the lake and their own breathing.
Lily finally broke the tense atmosphere, "I'm going to miss this place."
"It really is beautiful. Reminds me of home, but bigger."
"This is my home. Became my home when I was 10, don't know what will happen when I'm not here."
"Lil's will you really never come back?" His voice was a heartbreaking quiver.
"I don't plan on it. But truthfully, I don't know what I'll do after" Lily's voice trailed off.
"After what Lil, please."
"It's nothing important"
"You know you can tell me. I won't judge you I promise." James scooted closer to Lily gaining some warmth between them.
Lily's eyes fell to the grass that was covered in frost. She plucked a blade and started to play with it. "James I don't want anyone to know. Because if they did I'd feel weak and alone and have no one who thinks of me as just Lily."
"Then what's the harm in telling me? I've never thought of you as just Lily. You've always been much more then that. And no one could think you weak. You're the strongest person I know. When you father passed away you told no one, well until I forced you."
"That's just it James. You understand when something is bothering me. I don't know how you always know. But you always interrupt my life when it's hanging by a thread."
"Lil what's going on?"
Still he gained no response.
"Lily, I can help. Just let me, please."
Lily sighed and let a long breath out.
"My mother is ill."
"Is that it?"
"Yes!"
"She'll get better Lily."
"No she won't"
"Why?"
"She has cancer."
James looked utterly confused. Being a pureblood he must have never heard of it before.
"Cancer is a muggle disease."
"Well maybe we can do something!"
"It can not be cured by muggles or magic. Trust me I looked into it."
"Lil's I don't know what I can do, but please let me do something."
They sat there for a while; he let her ponder at his question, "Write to me."
"What?"
"Write to me. Let me know how the wizardry world is getting on with out me. Tell me about things at Hogwarts."
"Of course I will. Will you write back to me?"
"Hopefully," He looked at her doubtfully "I'll try to."
"Good. You'll keep me updated on you then."
"I guess so."
They sat awhile thinking about their agreement. James leaned in and hugged Lily's side. Lily gave in and put her head onto his shoulder.
"James can you promise me something?"
"Anything."
"Only promise if you can keep it."
"Okay"
"Don't get messed up in this war."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't die James. Voldermort isn't worth it."
"You don't think fighting for muggles and muggleborns isn't worth it?"
"No, that's not what I meant, not at all. It's just he's not worth dying for. If you are going to die for someone might as well be someone very important."
"Well then I'll fight for you." Lily's face blushed, she hoped James hadn't seen it, but he grinned as he had.
"Well, I'm going to bed. I'll see you in class tomorrow."
"Okay, bye Lily."