In which we are introduced to our hostesses, and their prisoners—err, "special guests."
CHAPTER ONE:
SPECIAL GUESTS
AIMI : Hello, and welcome to the Insane Babble Channel ! Today's "special guests" include Kori, Jenjen, Cinna, and a few of their special friends...
JENJEN : Hi hi hey hi hi !
CINNA : Nobody wants tofu waffles.
KORI : Shut up, retardos.
AIMI : So, tell me, why are you insane ?
JENJEN : Pass the soy milk !
KORI : Alcohol ! Wheeeeeeee !
CINNA : Now for MY special friend ! *Starfire walks in*
STAR : I do not wish to be here. Could I not be back home making out with Ro- I mean, um, back home ?
CINNA : *whacks star with brick* Nooooooooo ! Robin is MIIIIIIIIIINE !
JENJEN : Shin-gari my kari blah blah blah blah
KORI : You are all sooooo gay
AIMI : Nananananana-what ? I'm the background music ! Nanananana...
JENJEN : And now : MY special friend ! *Beast Boy walks in*
BEAST BOY : Dude. Where am I ?
JENJEN : *hearts in eyes*
CINNA : *whacks Jenjen with brick*
JENJEN : Duhhhhh...
AIMI : And now for Kori's special friend !
KORI : Do I have to have a special friend ?
AIMI : Yes.
KORI : Okay. *Drags Raven in, kicking and screaming*
RAVEN : Pointless.
JENJEN : *Bites Raven* Give me tofu NOW !
STAR : Hello, Friends ! You are also trapped in this strange world of random insanity ?
BEAST BOY : Unfortunately...
AIMI : O-kay ! Now comes the part of the show where (nonexistent) viewers send in DARES for you people ! Now, here's our first dare from none other than Moonstar1244, who says : "I dare you to bring the rest of the Titans on the show. It's boring without them."
JENJEN : *drags Robin and Cyborg onto set* Hi hi hey hi !
ROBIN : Where is Star ?
STAR : Here I am ! Might you wish to perform the ritual of "making out ?"
ROBIN : Sure ! *frenches Star*
AIMI : O-kay, nasty picture. Our second dare comes from Akomiko, who says "1. Make Jenjen kiss Beast Boy for 30 minutes and see if Raven cares. Make Cyborg admit he's gay. Make Cinna make out with Robin. Dump 10 quarts of asparagus on AIMI's head."
ROBIN : NOOOOOOOOOOO ! *Runs in another direction*
CINNA : YESSSSSSSS ! *Chases him*
JENJEN : Finally ! *kisses Beast Boy*
RAVEN : *throws chair at Jenjen's head*
BEAST BOY: You like me ! You really like me !
RAVEN : *runs away in shame*
AIMI : Yum ! *Dances in asparagus*
CYBORG : I"M NOT GAY !
AIMI : Yes you are !
CINNA : *stops kissing Robin* Really ?
ROBIN : Hooray ! Freedom !
AIMI : Our next dare comes from DarkAngel43, who says : "Make Beast Boy eat 10 pounds of meat. Make Cyborg jump in a vat of boiling oil. Lock Robin in a room with Star alone for twenty minutes and see what happens. Dunk Jenjen in Hot Confectionary.
Make Cinna dance the Funky Chicken in front of her entire class. Force Raven to sing the National Anthem in Japanese while eating a sardine-marshmallow pizza."
ROBIN AND STAR : *go into room*
CYBORG : Nobody loves me anymore !
CINNA : *dancing Funky Chicken* That's cuz nobody ever loved you, gaybo !
RAVEN : I hate pizza.
JENJEN : Confectionary ! Wheeeeeee !
BEAST BOY : Nooooo ! Never !
AIMI : Sorry, but you gotta ! It's my show and I say you must !
BEAST BOY : *eats meat and passes out*
CYBORG : *burns*
RAVEN : *barfs up pizza* I don't know Japaneeeeese ! Have mercy !
AIMI : Heeheehee...I love being evil. Now, face the wrath of my chainsaw !
RAVEN : Ahhhhhhhh ! *flies away*
AIMI : *chases her*
KORI : *looks at watch* Twenty minutes are up ! You can come out now !
*no response* Hello ? Hello ?
Twenty more minutes later...
KORI : *pulls door off hinges* GET OUT !
STAR : *leaving room all sweaty and messed up* That was most enjoyable !
ROBIN : *in a daze* Yeah...
KORI : *shields eyes* Let's just hope it was a heated game of Scrabble...anyway, onto the next dare from Lilopossum : "Auction everybody off"
AIMI : *coming back carrying Raven's bloodstained body* Guess who's back ! And revived ! *sprays Reviving Spray on Raven*
RAVEN : *opens eyes* Just when I thought I was free of you all...
AIMI : Okay, the first item up for auction is...Jenjen !
JENJEN : Me ! *crickets chirp*
AIMI : Um...okay...uh...next item up for bidding is...Beast Boy !
RAVEN : Ten dollars ! *realizes what she said and covers mouth*
AIMI : Sold ! Would you like that gift-wrapped ?
RAVEN : Okay.
AIMI : Oh. So, next item up for sale is...Cinna !
ROBIN : Four cents !
STAR : *throws brick at his head*
AIMI : Sold ! Okay, next item up for sale is...Raven !
BEAST BOY : *from inside wrapping paper* Five dollars !
AIMI : *looks at Raven, who almost cries when she thinks of Beast Boy owning her*
Sold ! Next up...Cyborg ! *crickets chirp again*
CYBORG : *wailing* Nobody waaaaaaaants meeeeeeee !
JENJEN : Join the club, buster.
AIMI : Oh, well. Next item up for sale is...Starfire !
ROBIN : *foaming at mouth* TWENTY BILLION DOLLARS !
STAR : Goody ! *Jumps into Robin's arms*
AIMI : Now, I believe we've sold everybody except for me and Kori. And since Jenjen and Cyborg were the only ones not bidded on, they get an all expenses-paid trip to the Bahamas !
JENJEN : No !
CYBORG : No !
AIMI : YES ! Now we can finally get rid of you ! *pushes them onto plane*
CINNA : Not Jenjen ! Nooooooo ! My bestest friend !
ROBIN : Hey, you belong to me now !
STAR : *throws a cinderblock at his head* No more cheating !
CINNA : You wanna fight for him, wimpo ?
STAR : As you say : 'Bring it on !'*wins* I am victorious ! *runs with Robin into bedroom*
CINNA : *cries* NOOOO !
AIMI : Doesn't look like they'll be finished for a while...we've eliminated four people. Who will be next ?
RAVEN : I know ! Me ! *flies away*
BEAST BOY : NOOOOO ! COME BACK !
KORI : I've got tofu !
BEAST BOY : TOFU ! WHERE ! *runs off into distance*
CINNA : Aw, man. Everybody's gone !
AIMI : That's showbiz, kid !
JENJEN : *appearing on TV screen* Help ! I'm trapped in Bahamas with a gay cyborg !
CYBORG : *appearing behind her* FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM NOT GAY !
BEAST BOY : GIVE ME TOFU NOW !
RAVEN : *from somewhere in the distance* HELP ! I'm being eaten by a rabid monkey !
BEAST BOY : My love ! I will save you ! *runs after Raven*
STAR : *poking head out from door* This is even more enjoyable than the last time !
ROBIN : *moans* Come back...
STAR : Gladly ! *shuts door*
CINNA : NOOO ! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE !
KORI : Goodbye.
AIMI : *falls asleep*