Background about this story: I made this fic for Me Or The Wallpaper's challenge called "The 'A Confessions of Sorts' challenge!!!!" The rules are simply; the main focus is kept your all characters in character, the title must be "A Confession of Sorts", the story can be anything, in your story the word 'love' isn't aloud to be mention and, every time a person completes this challenge, their way on confessing is banned.

I want to thank Jessie for betaing this –without her, I would be pretty much same situation as Fai in Yama country when he tried spoke Japanese with Kurogane.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, it belongs to CLAMP.

I hope you'll enjoy this!

A Confession of Sorts

By: Tuliharja

The black haired man opened the door for the princess, the ex-magician and the young boy who stepped inside their current apartment quickly. As soon as the door moved, the ninja noticed as the white manjuu jumped fast into princess Sakura's arms, half crying and half yelling, wondering if they were okay. It had been another day filled with those hard battles in the Chess game, but like always, they had won. Kurogane shut the door behind him silently and watched as Sakura convinced Mokona that they were alright.

The younger man disappeared into the kitchen. The young Princesses face fell as she watched him go. Kurogane couldn't help but shake his head, realizing how much things had changed. All of them, the princess, the boy, and even the magician! His eyes wandered slowly as Fai's hand drifted to Sakura's. The mage led her to hers room but, as a challenge and reminder of what he had done, the blond man stopped for a second and turned his single eye towards him. A cold chill ran up the ninja's backbone.

"No more happy smiles," was what the look in the other man's eyes said. "No more games."

Kurogane felt urgent to kick himself when the door closed. He let out deep sigh that he had been holding and sat on the couch. Moments later, the kid walked up next to him, holding a bottle of Sake. Speculatively eyeing it for a while, the ninja soon grabbed a glass and took a sip, the alcohol burning down his throat. In silence, the both of them drank. A lot. It wasn't like they were masters of speaking their feelings. After a while, the white manjuu bun came and joined them. When Syaoran and Mokona finally passed out, it made him snort.

Kurogane glanced at his half full bottle and listened as a door cracked open. The ninja didn't pay it any attention as it closed but he looked up as, like a shadow, Fai tried to pass him.

"You should drink," he said bluntly, making the vampire stop.

Fai turned quietly towards Kurogane, a harsh look on his face that he tried hide when he was with the kids. Kurogane wasn't so lucky, especially since he didn't really have to anymore. Especially since Kurogane had dragged him back to life and made him a vampire. The price had been too much for him and the vampire couldn't accept it. He just couldn't.

Annoyance and slight anger swirling inside him, Fai hissed his answer. "I'm not hungry."

The ninja turned his eyes away, almost in shame much to Fai's pleasure. He couldn't help it; he couldn't help that he felt pleased when he saw Kurogane hurt, as if he were so…so injured. He knew it was selfish, but since the ninja had brought him back to life it was as if Kurogane had give him the right to do so. 'Show him annoyance; show him how shattered and evil you truly are' was what he was going to do to the man for the rest of his life. Going with what his thoughts said, the vampire slightly shrugged his shoulders and turned away, not wanting to continue this topic anymore. It was tiring and pointless. He didn't want to drink the blood and become something even more evil and filthy than he already was.

Suddenly, a strong hand grasped hold of his own. Fast and ready to act, he turned back; only to see Kurogane's tough look boring into him. The vampire's eye grew a little bit bigger at this sudden turn, scarlet eyes looking at him, challenging, just like old times. Challenging him to stop this drama and be what he truly wanted to be.

"You must drink," he said, continuing with staring at him, making the vampire shake a little.

"No, I don't-…" Fai started when the other man stood up, his eyes furious as he hissed in a low voice: "I care about you, you idiot! So do the kids and the manjuu. None of us want to lose you, not when it was hard enough to drag your sorry-ass back to life! Drink."

There was a sharp sound that rang out as his hand slapped the others away. Fai's eye turned a dangerous gold as his thoughts raged inside his head, wondering if he should yell at the ninja or not.

Finally, the ex-magician hissed out a reply. "Fine."

Nodding at the magician's acceptance, Kurogane leaned towards the blonde-haired man, his now longer fingernail cutting his wrist open. The vampire drink, not a cross feeling anywhere in his body.

When he finally stood up, licking his lips, he felt stronger yet dizzy, like he had drunken too much. Looking up at Kurogane, he felt the sudden urge to slap him or at least yell. Contrary to his wishes, his mouth formed cryptic words. "By losing me, it would have been much easier. I'm going to bed."

The dark haired man watched as the blond one turned and walked off, his body tense.

"Not to me," Kurogane let out a sigh.

The other man paused in the doorway to his bedroom before slamming the door shut. Another sigh escaped his lips as he turned towards the passed out kid and the white ball of fur. It seemed there was still lot to do and getting it all fixed was proving to be harder than he had expected.

He grabbed the kid under his arms and put the manjuu top of the kid as he carried them to their room. Afterwards, when the boy and the manjuu bun were placed in the bed and he was about to go his room, he could hear it. Or better would say he could sense the other's presence.

Kurogane turned quickly, only to see Fai's bedroom door get shut again, this time more quietly. The dark haired ninja walked up to it, at a loss for words and unsure how to fix everything. He knew Fai couldn't ever forgive him and he was alright with the other hating him but, somewhere deep inside his heart Kurogane wished that the ex-magician would finally let go of his anger and everything else.

The black haired man leaned against the door, mumbling quietly in hopes that it at least reached the blonde's ears. "You stupid idiot. You're so blind sometimes. I made that choice…because, because I've fallen for you."

For a moment, Kurogane stayed like that, back pressed against the door, listening to the small noises all around. Outside, it began to rain. Everything was so peaceful, yet it was all crashing down at the same time. Finally pulling himself off of the wooden door, he crashed onto the couch, too tired to move and too wiped out to think of anything as he finally passed out from too much stress and too much alcohol. The ninja snored as he entered into a deep sleep. The door he had been perched on not five minutes earlier creaked open slightly and the slim vampire slid up next to him, the ninja unaware due to the loud sounds coming from his very own mouth.

Fai stared at him peacefully for a moment before mumbling out his very own confession. "Sorry, Kurogane. I can't forgive you. Not just yet."