AN: Meg, here with the crack. You're welcome.
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING. But I wish I owned a unicorn.
Tsubaki hopped up the stairs, book clutched to her chest. She needed to hurry, otherwise Black Star would trash the house. The dark haired girl looked at the novel that Maka had lent her- sure, it had been nice, but Tsubaki's tastes lay… elsewhere.
She shook her head. No. The book of Eibon was wrong and she was not a pervert.
Rather oddly, however, the front door to her friend's apartment was open. Weird. Tsubaki called, but received no answer.
Shrugging, Tsubaki turned to leave when she heard a sound. A very quiet sound, soft, nothing she would usually notice.
…Except that the door to Soul's bedroom was wide open and the one to Maka's closed.
No. Bad Tsubaki. Stop the pervert thoughts right now.
Stealthily making her way to Maka's door, she planned on knocking. However, what she heard pretty much paralysed her.
"Move it, Soul!" Maka said, sounding out of breath.
Soul's voice came in. "Jeez, I'm trying my hardest."
…What?
"Well, it's my first time!"
"Mine too, you know."
"So much for cool guy- AH!" the girl squeaked.
Tsubaki went a shade paler.
"Calm down, Maka!"
"How can I when you're sticking that thing all over the place!"
Her eyes went wide as saucepans.
"Look, I'm sorry."
"Now the carpet's all red!"
The ninja girl stopped herself from squealing.
"Just suck it then!"
"But that's gross!"
"Maka…"
There was silence. Painful silence.
…And then the sound of someone grunting.
With that, Tsubaki placed the book on the floor and fled.
Meister and weapon lay next to each other on the floor, tired and out of breath.
…Maka was still sucking her bleeding finger whilst Soul was at work tearing apart the last tiny shreds of paper. He turned to his partner.
"That's the last time we order a desk from IKEA."