Disclaimer: Standard fic disclaimers apply. I don't own the characters. The story however, is mine.

Pairing: None, really. Can be 1x2 if you squint and cock your head to the side

Warnings: Post-war, nebulous timeline, assumes 1&2 are living together for whatever reason, attempts at humor, RL inspiration and vacuum cleaners.

Notes: Unbeta'd. Ignore my love affair with commas, it's an ongoing problem.

Also, there is another GW fic with this name somewhere on the net. It is a wonderful fic. This is not that fic. That fic is not this fic. That fic does not belong to me. The title was chosen because it refers to the same thing in this fic as it does in the other fic.

It Gets Into Everything

The front door to the apartment swung open and Duo walked in toting this week's laundry still warm from the dryer in the complex's basement. He kicked the door shut but before he could even set the basket down on the couch, Heero shoved Duo's phone under his nose. Duo went a little bit cross-eyed trying to look at the phone before turning his gaze back to his roommate's face.

"It rang while you were out."

"Uh… Thank you," Duo said as he took the phone and placed it on top of the laundry.

"Its vibration knocked over the cactus. Where's the vacuum?"

Duo glanced past him to where soil was scattered on the carpet and then back at Heero with an inquisitive head tilt.

"I cleaned up what I could," Heero explained with a hint of irritation; he'd had to pick several stickers out of his hands before starting to look for the vacuum. His search was, to say the least, unsuccessful. "Vacuum?"

Duo blinked a couple times before stating "I don't have one."

Heero stared in abject confusion. Whereas he had only moved in with Duo two weeks ago, Duo had been in this apartment for six months already. Surely, he would have a vacuum?

"Vacuums don't like me." When he was met by more confusion he adjusted the laundry basket balancing on his hip. "But I think there's a Dust Buster the last tenant left hiding in the back of the hall closet. That would probably work."

Heero stared another moment before going to scour the hall closet. As he walked away, Duo could finally set down the laundry. After the carpet was free of soil and cactus stickers and the laundry folded and put away, the entire incident seemed likely to be forgotten.

Until three months later when Duo came home only to be hit the minute he stepped in the door with the undeniable stench of burnt rubber and plastic.

"What is that smell?!" he exclaimed, trying not to breathe in too much.

It all became clear when he saw Heero sitting on the living room floor with a screwdriver at his side and the dismantled remains of their new upright vacuum scattered around him. Heero gave him a look that on anyone else would have been a stink eye. He was steadily picking long chestnut hair off the beater brush with scissors and pliers and dropping it in an ever-growing pile of hair in front of him. More hair could be seen clinging to the casing, wrapped around the belt and poking out of the vacuum's innards leading up towards the bag.

Duo leaned against the wall and smirked.

"Told you vacuums didn't like me."

In case I get asked: a Dust Buster is a mini handheld vacuum perfect cleaning up things like spilled soil from your tiny cactus but not much good for anything bigger than that.

As said above, this was inspired by RL. I have pretty long hair, it's down to my waist and though it is fine, as far as actual strands of hair go, I have a lot of hair. Thus, I shed more hair than most people. It gets everywhere very quickly, and it will mess with your vacuum something fierce. I don't know how many vacuums I've broken this way OTL FYI: that stench is truly awful and it lingers in the room for days.

Also: can anyone clarify the correct usage of past/passed in situations like "Duo glanced past/passed him" or "His hair was past/passed the waistband of his jeans" because I realized with this fic that I don't know the correct usage in situations like those.

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