Characters: Lisa, Shunsui, Nanao
Summary: Once more, with feeling.
Pairings: Shunsui x Lisa, Shunsui x Nanao
Warnings/Spoilers: Spoilers for Turn Back the Pendulum arc
Timeline: Post-Deicide arc
Author's Note: This whole "threesome", if you'll allow the term, is fascinating, because it has what I see to potentially be a deeply complex relationship.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.
When Lisa lives in memory she remembers the man's touch, as vividly as the chill wind on her face now. He was an experienced lover when she came to his bed and him to hers; he'd been alive much longer than her and, from the myriad perfumes she smelled lingering on his robes had had any woman he wanted. No force was ever required; only a charm and sake plied to the object of desire.
It had been a little more different with her, and Shunsui had learned the virtue of patience via Yadomaru Lisa.
And now, the scene turns, the century shifts, and Lisa watches in bemusement as the world seems so similar but has changed beyond her ability to recognize it.
It's like she's come home, but hasn't. Nothing's the same anymore.
She never expected her and Shunsui to pick up where they left off. It was always "no strings attached, no regrets" sex and there had been an unspoken agreement that they would never have any claims on each other. So much easier in the long run, so much easier…
But Lisa still regretted it, still missed him and missed all she had left behind. Her body reacted as could be expected in the sudden absence of a lover, congealed, grew colder, and had her mind react the same way.
And of course the spider inside had changed her, made her metamorphose as it metastasized inside of her like cancer cells. Becoming a Vizard changed Lisa so completely that when she looks in mirrors she sees a gaunt and haggard stranger staring back at her with mad eyes that, to others, seem so calm, but Lisa knows she's going mad inside.
She's already gone mad. Her sane mind is sleeping, gone under with sedatives, and she can't wake up.
But enough of that.
The joy of seeing Nanao again brings with it an intense, peculiar sort of agony. The girl's grown up; pale and pretty and serious, and Lisa can see that she wasn't the only one ruined by her hasty departure.
Nanao, as Lisa knew her, was a diminutive child with wide, solemn eyes, but she knew how to laugh and smile. This girl doesn't. Lisa barely recognizes Nanao-chan in Ise Nanao-fukutaicho, strict and stern lieutenant of the Eighth division.
And Shunsui watches her like a hawk. He tails her, shadows her, shelters her, cripples her.
But he also seems to love her.
Lisa expected Shunsui to move on. It's in his nature; he almost certainly thought she was dead; who wouldn't, considering the circumstances? But she certainly didn't expect this.
She is certainly very bemused, as she watches the play and the actors playing their parts in front of her. It's a very fascinating play, very familiar, achingly familiar, in fact, and far too close to home for Lisa's liking.
The way he chases Nanao, the way he runs after her, tries, mostly without success, to woo her is so very reminiscent of what happened over a hundred years ago that if it weren't for the fact that Nanao isn't quite identical in appearance to Lisa, she'd think it were the same people. All the same, it bothers her how Nanao's become her virtual body double and how Shunsui's relationship to her is affected by the same.
It's all playing out the same, but there's no room for Lisa this time. Her tenure's expired, she's not a part of this world, this life anymore. She's just a ghost, an interloper; the niche she left behind's long since been filled, in every sense of the word.
Nanao eyes her almost with guilt, but with resentment too. Resentment for leaving her so many years ago; there's no resentment in the case of Shunsui. As Nanao once confides, if Lisa took him back, she could not possibly be more elated.
The guilt is because Nanao, for whatever reason, whatever pointless, ridiculous reason, feels guilty that Shunsui chose to transfer his affections to her.
It's not her fault, Lisa tries to scream. But the words stick in her throat like peanut butter and she can't get them out.
Shunsui's probably been in love over a dozen times in his life; given his history with women, Lisa wouldn't be surprised if the number's actually much higher. But he's never been protective of any woman he's been with, and Lisa has watched him, with woman after woman, long before he finally came to her.
That's different with Nanao. Yes, the need to protect her is to Lisa's eyes almost pathological, isn't healthy, is borderline-obsessive but it's still sincere. It's not sinister; it's overbearing, but not in any way menacing. Shunsui wants to protect her so badly.
And maybe it's because of Lisa.
He let her go, and she never came back to the nest. So maybe his way of coping with pain and guilt of his own is to make sure Nanao never leaves the nest so she can never be picked off by predators outside.
And maybe falling in love with her wasn't part of the bargain, was just something that happened.
And if that's so, Lisa thinks she can accept it.
Strike that.
She knows she can accept it.
This isn't her world anymore. It isn't her life. She's come to accept that; she's had a hundred years to come to terms with her new reality. She has no claims to Shunsui anymore, but still cares for, loves Nanao in her own way, and she wants her to be happy.
She can be, is happy for her.
Lisa can welcome it, with but one condition.
She watches, and hopes and prays that when Shunsui chases after Nanao, that it's Nanao he's chasing after.
If he's grasping at smoke and memory, pursuing Nanao because she's Lisa's body double, then that, she won't stand for.
But otherwise, she can be happy.