Feel No More (Feel No Less)
by EMPG22HoPe
I can't make your heart feel something it won't
This wasn't supposed to happen.
But how could Scorpius ever predict a girl's feelings for him anyway after he had just told her his?
"Stay away from me, Scorp. Please." Lily said fretfully, taking a few steps back. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She was red-faced as she shook her head angrily now. "I can't… we can't be together. Albus… he would hate me. He would hate you."
Even though Albus Potter is his best friend, there had always been one little rule they had as a pair: that Scorpius should never fall for Lily Luna Potter. For Albus fears the awkwardness, but Scorpius felt it might have been something else. He had noted it by the way of his friend's blush—whether it was of anger or jealousy, he couldn't quite place. Though the way Lily tore away from him, he felt it might have something to do with the latter.
Some part of Scorpius screamed at him to do the exact opposite of staying away from her. He wasn't quite sure when to give up on the little things. But the way he felt about Lily wasn't just a "little thing" now, wasn't it? No.
He had just confessed he liked her… no, loved her and her initial reaction felt like the hit of a cruciatus curse. Not that he's ever went through that kind of horror, although from his mother and father's experience—he could only imagine how terrible it must be. But to Scorpius, this felt even more excruciating. Every part of him wanted to shut down now as flashbacks of when he confessed to Rose came to him in harsh images.
Of course, it was just like Rose Granger-Weasley all over could feel every bit of his heart be smashed into pieces he wasn't quite sure he could pick up without hurtinghimself.
Of course, of course, he just had to make a fool of himself. Tell this girl you really like that you love her, as though he hadn't learned his lesson from Rose. Scorpius swallowed what little dignity he still had, which wasn't saying a lot this time around.
He felt awful, pathetic, and foolish,even,for what he'd done. He feared that this would happen. That Lily wouldn't feel the same way, or that she'd be furious for him to even think that there could be something between them—a future, perhaps. But as always, Scorpius Malfoy, in all his nerdiness and fear of many things, gets torn by a girl… yet again.
But how could he ignore the faint possibility of him and Lily? From the little spark may burn a mighty flame, the great Dante once said. He didn't know that spark could be their greatest demise. He thought he saw, through those stolen glances, that she might feel the same way. The way she was denying him now, he couldn't tell if she did or if she was simply doing it because she didn't at all.
"I-I… I'm sorry, Lily. I'm so… s-s-sorry." He choked on his words, not knowing what else to say. "I never should have… I…"
"Please," Lily begged this time, taking a step forward before realizing her mistake. She stepped back again. "I am not the girl for you. I never will. I'm sorry. Scorp, please just go."
"You don't feel the same, I understand that now." He blurted out, feeling the crack on his resolve.
"It's not like that…" Lily shook her flaming red head. "Please don't make me say it."
"Say it," This time, his voice came like the chill of winter. It was the Malfoy cold that he's been encasing, destroying his gentle stride. "Say what you really mean, Lily."
"Don't make me say it." Lily said again, her entire body convulsing between her sobs. Don't make me say that I love you too, she seemed to want to say. But she glared up at Scorpius now, every bit of anger and pain pouring out between the cracks of her hurt. "Leave. I beg of you."
Was it perhaps he fell too easily? That he grasped at the next girl to fill whatever hole Rose had drilled on his heart? He wanted to say no, but he couldn't deny how fast he fell for Lily's sweet smile, her rambunctious humor and her caring nature. She wasn't as cruel as Rose. But he sees now that she might be just as worst.
Scorpius wanted to say so much more; prove to her that he truly meant what he said. But now his pride and what little his broken heart had left was pulling him back. Hot tears filled his grey eyes as he took a step back from Lily.
He wanted to reach out to her. Hold her hand, pull him into his arms—anythingto defuse the tension. But he respectedLily above loving her, and so he left as she'd asked.
Scorpius walked all the way back to the manor. It didn't bother him in the slightest that his feet would fill with blistersat the end of the walk. But to him, there was no greater pain than being denied the feelings of which he'd been so terrified to say all this time.
He couldn't understand where he went wrong.
But maybe, just maybe… Scorpius being with someone at all… was wrong in its own sense. Maybe… he just didn't quite deserve the love he gives to everyone.
Prompt(s):
Fanfiction Writing Month: 915 words
Dragon-Breeding Club: Norwegian Ridgeback - Livia
Insane House Challenge
41. Character - Scorpius Malfoy
365 Prompts Challenge
138. First Line - This wasn't supposed to happen.
Fanfiction Resolutions Challenge
60. Participate in the gift tag
Writing Club - June
Anna - Write about someone falling in love too easily. (Disney Challenges: Characters)
3. I couldn't ignore the faint possibility (Lyric Alley)
The History of Wrong Guys - (plot point) falling for someone you can't have (Showtime)
[Summer] Seasonal Challenges
Cosmos - (title) Feel No More (Feel No Less) (Flowers)
(quote) "From the little spark may burst a mighty flame." - Dante (Elemental - Fire Element)
Lily Luna Potter (Gryffindor Themed Prompts)
A gift fic for Holly the Sparkling Unicorn
I hope it was what you were looking for! :')
AN: A more angst-y take on one of my favorite ships. I normally don't write sad endings, but this was an interesting experience, and maybe I should do more of it in the future! Thank you so much for reading!
Please don't forget to leave a little review as I always love to hear my readers' thoughts.
EMPG22HoPE