AN: There is a reason why the title is 'Freakishly Short' because I've seen a lot of stories, which were told in 100 words or less and that is exactly what is happening here.
Pairings: Sherlock/John
Warnings: OOC-ish, AU-ish
Had it Coming
Bored. Bored. Boooooored.
He heard the front door being opened from downstairs. Time to put some bullets in the wall. That will show John not to take his time shopping.
Over Spilled Tea
John dropped his white mug cracking it and spilling the tea.
Now John was angry he went up to his room, pulled out his gun from the bedside drawer, stomped back down and shot at the wall. Only all his shots hit the holes that had already been made courtesy of Sherlock.
"Very nice John!" Sherlock exclaimed, "Feel better?"
"No." He said handing over the gun and slipping into his own chair. He looked back up at the wall and grinned.
"Maybe a bit."
Blogs
Sherlock swept into the room with his coat flapping and his scarf dancing and his hair staying perfectly in place.
"What are you writing this time?" Without hesitation Sherlock scooped up John's laptop where John's blog was opened. "Wolves or Vampires?" He read aloud, "Is this a new name for a case?"
"Uh yes what else would it be?" John replied too quickly from where he was sitting. All of a sudden there was a presence behind his chair and soft fingers tilting his head back.
"Vampires, obviously." whispered Sherlock.
Kitty, Kitty, Kitty
"Are you crying?" John asked open mouthed.
"When the golden retriever falls down the hole, it gets me every time."
"You mean you've seen this movie more than once?"
"Shh." Sherlock hissed like a cat. John waited before asking another question.
"But you didn't get upset when the cat fell down the waterfall."
"Cats have nine lives." He snapped.
"Sherlock-"
"Too easy." John read Sherlock's amused expression and calmed down. Shadow, the loyal golden retriever, and Sassy the cat, they now had perfect code names for their next case.
Office Elf
"If Sherlock ever comes down here," Sally glanced around the mailing room. "Don't talk to him."
"Why?" John queried becoming intrigued.
"Because he'll find all your dark secrets, things you didn't even know about yourself, and tell them to the world." John just laughed.
"You're joking."
"I wish I were." She hurriedly left him to his boring new job. Everyone was eerily quiet. He sleepily closed his eyes before a hand roughly shook his shoulder.
"Don't worry mate, just wait till Sherlock gets here." A thin man whispered.
"Why's that?"
"This place becomes something else entirely."
Inside the Skull
When Sherlock first woke up on the sofa he expected to see John hovering over him not Lestrade.
"What do you remember?" Lestrade questioned urgently.
"Where's John?" he groaned disregarding the question.
"Who's John?" Sherlock heaved an aggravated sigh,
"Only my flat-mate." He drawled. Lestrade appeared decidedly uncomfortable.
"Sherlock, you live alone."
Second AN: Thank you for reading! Some important allusions that were made: Twilight- the book/movie, Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey- the movie, Elf- the movie and possibly A Beautiful Mind- the movie.