**Here it is, my first trigun fic in the longest of times. I had originally intended for this to be shorter, and after it got longer, for it to be a chapter-ized fic. But it's still too short for that. And, on another note, I suppose this could count as a continuation—of sorts—to my other fic "and all she did was love me". It's not necessary to read the other fic, just a suggestion. 'cause I'm a desperate person who wants people to read her stories. **
Clumsy Couple
After Knives died—but not directly after—they moved in together. I don't know what exactly had gone on between them, but something important must have happened, because the whole process went very quickly. I think it was a very pretty day that it happened, because I remember I had been staring out the window when Sempai walked in (we shared a room before she moved into his room). She began digging through the drawers of her own dresser, pulling stuff out and placing it on her bed, which hadn't been made up that day. That wasn't like her—none of the things she was doing were—so, I asked her what was wrong, naturally.
She didn't look at me, but she started to smile really big, and started telling me that something had just happened—something really great. She was moving into a room with Vash-san! They had talked about it the night before, she told me, as she gathered all her belongings as quick as she could. She was excited, buzzing around the room, but her eyes told me that she was stunned. I grinned as she began to blush, going into as much detail as she dared without completely making a fool of herself. It was a bit too late, I noted, as she stumbled over her own feet on another trip back to her bed.
Her explanation to me quickly turned into senseless babbling; and when she finished, she simply stared, looking dumbstruck, as if she'd only now really comprehended her situation. Smiling broadly, I giggled at her, then rushed to give her a hug. She didn't hug me back, but smiled anyway, like she always did. She was happy, and I was happy for her. Happy for myself. It saved me a lot of effort; if they hadn't gotten together soon, I would have had to have taken steps!
I helped her gather the rest of her things and carry them into Vash-san's room, where we found him busily moving things around. He had been expecting Sempai, but not me, I think; he stared when I entered. I dumped Sempai's things on the bed, and immediately hugged him around the shoulders, chattering excitedly. He looked perplexed as I barricaded him with questions and comments. This was a wonderful turn of events! I'm so happy! When did you first realize you loved Sempai? How about I make some tea and we talk about it? This is exciting, isn't it?
When's the wedding?
After all the smiles and giggles, I was surprised to see a frown form on Vash-san's face, and a nervous giggle escape Sempai as she clutched his hand. Marriage? They asked me. Oh… I raised an inquisitive eyebrow at them, wondering why they were acting so funny. Sempai returned the funny look, but just as quickly looked down at her feet, nervous for some reason. Marriage… I heard Vash-san mutter.
"What? Aren't you getting married…?"
It's really bright outside, for being nighttime. I couldn't sleep tonight; I think I still might be too excited—or shocked—from Sempai's news. I look over at her vacant bed. It always helped me to know she was there at night. It's my first time in a room by myself, ever since we took on this mission. It's really strange. Something twinges at my chest—I think it might be my heart.
Yeah. I guess I'm feeling kind of lonely. That's the real reason I can't sleep. It's not just the kind of loneliness I feel because Sempai's not in the same room with me—I know she's just across the hall if I need her. Sempai just found herself a soul mate (good for her), but it leaves me feeling kind of empty inside. Like I don't have anyone. Of course, I know that's not really true, because I've got Sempai and Vash-san and the friends I've made with the townsfolk here, but…
It doesn't really feel that fair… you know?
I quickly put aside the thought with a firm shake of my head. No, I shouldn't feel that way. Not at all. Despite having found each other (at long, long last), Sempai and Vash-san still need my help with a lot of things. What kind of friend am I—what kind of help can I be—if I sit here and brood and be jealous of them? Knowing I'm not going to get much sleep tonight, I quickly shake the thoughts out of my head and replace them with the resolve to get some tea.
Ceylon tea sounds really good, right now.
I open the door from my bedroom to the hallway and peer around curiously. It's funny, but I haven't heard a peep from their room tonight. Earlier, I'd covered my head with a pillow, expecting the usual kind of… "Noise" that couples usually make when they live with each other, but so far… nothing. And this really surprises me, for some reason. If they're happy, wouldn't they do that kind of stuff?
I shrug it off, and go into the hallway in the direction of the kitchen. Something catches my eye, however, and I stop in mid-stride. Their door is cracked open, and moonlight is pouring through it, illuminating a small space near the door. I'm really curious, now. Why would their door be open? Did something go wrong? I know I shouldn't, but my feet carry me over to their door, where my eyes casually peer into the small room. I blink at the sight I see, which wasn't what I had been preparing myself for.
They're sitting there on the bed—asleep, I observe quickly, because their eyes are closed. Vash-san has his arms around Sempai, and Sempai is leaning up against him, as his back is against the wall. Moonlight is surrounding them, and the sight of them automatically makes me think of angels. I smile to myself, and hide a giggle behind my hand. Yes, they're both angels. Neither of them would "do" anything. They're just living together, for now. They'll "do" stuff when they get married.
Yeah. They'll be married, soon.
I gently close the door and finish making my way to the kitchen.
I smile at them across the breakfast table. How cute and nervous they are! They're sitting a little closer than usual, but still keeping that same respectable distance that they always have. Both sets of eyes are set on their plates of fried eggs and partly burnt toast, refusing to look up at me or each other. Just like two bashful teenagers! I give it a moment's thought, and decide quickly that this is probably the first time in a long time either of them has been in love. I hide a giggle with a forkful of eggs.
We're all about done with our plates of breakfast, so I rise to help Sempai with the cleanup. It's about then that I realize that this is the first meal in nearly a month that we've all eaten together in the same room, at the same table. After his brother died, Vash-san locked himself in his room, refusing to eat or come out, while Sempai spent most of her days cleaning. But now everything is right again! My excitement builds as I dry the dish Sempai hands to me. There are so many things we could do now! After things settle down again and get boring again, maybe we could do some more traveling, like the old days…
Sempai has been washing the same dish for about three minutes now, and I turn to look at her, knowing full well that a plate shouldn't take that long to wash. My brows knit together as I watch her absently scrub that now clean dish, a preoccupied look in her eyes. Briefly, I wonder what she's thinking about, and prepare myself to ask when I hear a chair scrape against the wooden floor, and see Vash-san stand up.
"I need to get going," he says, jerking his head slightly toward the door. "I have some errands I need to run."
As he says this, the picture of a pretty diamond engagement band appears in my mind, and I look to Sempai to see if she has the same thought in her eyes. But her expression is blank, and she only nods as he turns to leave. I quickly become irritated at the both of them for being so shy. They're in love, aren't they?
"Vash-san!" I call out to him as he reaches for the door handle, my hands on my hips in mock exasperation, perfectly mimicking Sempai, I think. Abruptly, he turns to me, his eyes dull but questioning. I smile broadly at him and point to Sempai. "You forgot to kiss her!"
The blush is instantaneous, both a perfect shade of crimson. I have trouble hiding the giggle as Vash-san stares in disbelief first at me, then at Sempai, who is trying her best to focus on the dish she's been scrubbing so hard for the past few minutes. Then, cautiously, he walks toward her, his boots scraping heavily across the floor as he forces himself forward.
"That's right," he says nervously, letting out a slight chuckle. "How could I forget?" He reaches her, and slowly spins her around to face him. She's still holding the dish as he does so, and the water still clinging to it drips off onto Vash-san's boots. They take a very small moment to look at each other, then Vash-san quickly leans down and pecks her lightly on the lips, his hands thrust into his pockets. Then he turns around and walks toward the door again, waving as he does so.
Proud of my accomplishment, and trying hard, still, to stifle the giggles, I turn to Sempai to see her happy reaction. But she's back to the sink, still scrubbing the same dish, that preoccupied look in her eyes once again.
It's a few nights later, when we're all in bed, that I hear a strange noise from their bedroom. Not like the kind of "noise" that I wait for every night with a pillow ready. It's a noise I'm acquainted with, one that I know well. It makes me frown largely. However, curious, I get up from my strangely cold bed and open my door a crack, listening with my ear pressed against it. Sure enough, the noise is louder in the hallway. I can hear everything that Sempai says to him.
"It's all right, Vash."
In my mind, I can picture the two of them; Vash-san with his head in her lap, crying softly as she strokes his hair. I wonder what happened to him, as he lets a loud sob escape.
"I'm here, Vash. It's okay."
For a moment, I think how funny it is that Sempai can be so caring and gentle when she thinks no one can see her or hear her. However, this thought doesn't make me smile. I press my ear closer to the door; their voices are getting quieter.
"I had a bad dream…" His voice this time. It's soft, but rusty-sounding from crying. There's a short silence.
"Do you want to tell me?" Sempai asks, her voice filled with sincerity. There's more silence, except for the sigh that Vash-san lets out to calm himself.
"It was dark, and I couldn't feel anything." It's hard for me to hear, his voice is so quiet now. "I… almost thought I was dead."
"But you're not, are you?"
I could hear him let out a soft chuckle. "No. I'm warm now."
Something in the back of my mind tells me that the conversation I was listening was something very private, and, as silently as possible, I close the door, feeling slightly ashamed of myself for eavesdropping. But at the same time, I feel kind of warm inside, as if some of the love for each other they had expressed in those few words also sinks into me, if only by accident. I craw back into bed, and, as I fall asleep, notice that it is a bit warmer than before.
It's almost two weeks later that I finally catch a moment with Sempai, alone. Though both of them are still terribly shy around each other and other people, they rarely ever separate. And it's not by chance that I find Sempai sitting at the table this morning—dawn, really—watching the streaks of sun coming in through the kitchen window. I'd noticed that Sempai is an early riser, while Vash-san is a late one. Sempai always gets up to watch the sun rise. So, I'd planned it out; I'd catch her this morning, and we'd talk—just about anything, like we hadn't had the chance to do in so long. Perhaps we could discuss our paperwork, and our long-overdue report to the office.
Or maybe I could scheme her into a wedding date. I smile at the idea of the possible subject matter.
She raises her eyes to me as I enter the cramped kitchen, smiling warmly at her. She grins back at me as usual, but her eyes tell me her surprise at my presence. I don't blame her; we actually haven't seen each other in almost three days, me being busy with working out in the fields now, and all. And I'm pretty sure she's been busy with Vash-san. I carefully sit down across from her, just noticing the soft bubbling of the percolator on the stove.
"Good morning, Sempai!" I chirp; a casual greeting, the perfect way to start a conversation. Sempai smiles warmly at me as a take a seat at the table across from her, but she doesn't say anything. For a moment, it bothers me how silent she's become lately, but I quickly brush it off. Sempai is Sempai, quiet or not. I look out the window at the fist sun, still orange from the early morning, and quickly find something to talk about.
"It's really beautiful out this morning, isn't it, Sempai?" I ask her, really meaning it. Although I'd seen my share of sunrises, this one seemed different. Maybe it was the view of it through the window, how the rays through the glass filled the entire room with a wonderful orange and yellow and strawberry glow. Or maybe it was because Sempai was there with me, seeing the same thing I was. Just like old times, me and Sempai. I look back to smile at her, but I found that her gaze was not on the sunrise, but on me.
"I…" she murmurs, looking suddenly tired. I quickly note the lines under her eyes, which hadn't been there when she was staring at the sun; perhaps it had been too bright. Her voice is soft, also. "I'm… sorry, Millie. I really am…"
And she does look sorry. I can't quite imagine why she would be so sorry, but she is; so much, in fact, she looks ready to cry. Thinking quickly, I take one of her smaller hands, and hold it as comfortingly as I could manage. She quickly looks away from me.
"Sorry for what, Sempai?" I hadn't really noticed that I was ready to cry, too. My voice quivers as I speak to her. She doesn't really seem to notice, though; I'm glad. "You don't have anything to be sorry for!"
"No, Millie." She still won't look up at me, but I'm glad she's talking. "These past few weeks, I've hardly seen you at all… I've been so… wrapped up…"
I shake my head, an action that catches her attention. Soft-eyed, she looks at me, and I smile with encouragement. "I understand, Sempai!" I say, and she knows I mean it. I wouldn't lie about something so serious as this. She takes her hand back from mine—I'd almost forgotten I'd had her hand—and wipes her eyes with her sleeve before she really starts crying. "Once things start to settle down in a while, everything will be back to normal and we'll be seeing each other all the time again!"
Silence suddenly builds itself between us, but it's not the uncomfortable kind. More like a blanket, warm and comfy. The sun is almost past the window, the second one on its tail. This makes the lines under Sempai's eyes more visible; she really is so tired. It could be because Vash-san; having to deal with his depression. He still hasn't gotten over his brother's death, and Sempai has so much pain to take from him. Or, those lines under her eyes could be her own doing, stressing over every little thing; if the house is dusted, if dinner's made, the fact that we haven't gotten a report to the agency in months. Sempai is just strange, sometimes.
"Millie…" Her voice cuts through the air, surprising me. I hadn't expected her voice so suddenly. I look at her again, realizing that my eyes before had trailed to my hands, and she's again not looking at me. However, her eyes sparkle with sudden curiosity. There's a brief pause, and she begins to blush, slightly, at whatever she's preparing to say to me. "If… Vash and I were to… ever… get married…"
The percolator on the stove goes off with a loud whistle, and at the same time I leap from the table, my heart soaring.
"That's wonderful!" I exclaim as Sempai races to move the percolator off the burner. "Have you decided on a date? A chapel? Were you planning on a private wedding or a big one? Oh, this is great news, Sempai, I—"
She cuts me off with a look, one of her classic ones that I hadn't seen her use for a while. It made me think of all those times she had a derringer in her hand. I immediately shut up.
"Millie, that's not what I mean," she says, already exasperated by my antics. I force back a smile; I'm reminded too much of the old Sempai. However, she regains an unsure look as she settles back against a counter, frowning. "What I mean is, if… we were to get married—I'm not saying we are—but…" She pauses as her eyes gloss over thoughtfully. "How long… do you think it would last?"
"What do you mean?" I ask, although I'm already fairly sure I know. Sempai takes a moment to pour some water out of the percolator and into a mug, and she takes a sip from it. She doesn't bother to add anything to the water; she just drinks it, plain.
"I mean, if…" she continues, sounding unsure of herself. She puts down the mug of steaming water and her eyes gloss over again. "I mean… if we were to get married, he would probably outlive me, wouldn't he? You know, with how long he lives, and…" She trails off, something she rarely does. I realize how much this must be bothering her; it's quite a load to think about. She only told me about a month ago about Vash-san's life span—how he'd lived for over a hundred years, already. She told me during the time that Vash-san was locked up in his room all the time after his brother died; she said it might help me understand his situation better.
But now, I just feel terrible for my Sempai. Knowing that your partner in life might likely outlive you is almost more awful than knowing you'll outlive them. For one thing, there's the fact that you're leaving someone behind to live in loneliness for the rest of their life—which, it turns out, might be very, very long. I watch Sempai as she takes another sip of the warm water.
"Sempai…" I say softly, knowing that she won't look up at me. She looks almost embarrassed, in a way; usually she's so independent, and doesn't bring up sensitive subjects with anyone. She's Meryl; she can solve her own problems! But this isn't the old Sempai, the one who used to ride thomases and become infuriated at the very mention of something she didn't herself agree with. She's become a softer person, who, on occasion, simply withdraws into herself when she doesn't want to speak. She hides so many things from me—and Vash-san, too—that we'll probably never figure out. But, despite the fact that this is almost an entirely different person I'm facing, I gather my courage and speak to her.
"Sempai." I say it again this time, firmly. "Don't you think you're being silly?" Her eyes turn to me, surprised at my straight-forwardness. Good. "If you and Vash-san really care about each other, those things shouldn't matter, should they?"
She doesn't say anything, just turns her eyes back to her cup of warm water, her eyes shining thoughtfully. There's a gap of silence that I had anticipated, and I'm comfortable with it. I've said my bit; let her think it over. But, suddenly—quite unexpectedly—she bursts out in tiny giggles, and turns to the sink.
"Sempai?"
"No wonder!" She giggles with a small embarrassed blush as she pours the water down the sink. "No wonder it tasted different—I forgot to add anything to it!"
It takes a moment for this funny mistake to settle in and a moment longer for me to start laughing. The fact that my Sempai could forget something as simple as adding coffee or tea to hot water makes me uncomfortable for a moment, but only for a moment. My laughter starts in tiny giggles; the happy look on Sempai's face, however, makes me laugh a little louder. She laughs louder, too, and we keep laughing louder until the entire house is filled with the shiny sound.
It's when I start to calm down a bit that I notice that Sempai is no longer laughing. I wipe my eyes of the happy tears that had formed there, causing all blurriness to vanish, and look toward her. Her eyes are stuck on something and I follow them. They lead to the doorway, where Vash-san is standing, smiling warmly at us.
"Good morning," he says, his voice low with no traces of sleep left. And it's with a sudden shock that I realize his eyes are focused on me, green and shining with warmth. All I'm suddenly capable of doing is smiling, and watching Vash-san as, very slowly, he takes his place next to Sempai. With sureness, I realize this is no longer my place to be, and I make my way to my bedroom; I give a small, encouraging smile over my shoulder to Sempai, though, before I go.
She smiles warmly at me, and nods.
Vash-san decided to come with me to work today. Sempai told me that he felt useless just running errands and sitting around the house all day; this was a sign that he was almost finally starting to recover from Knives' death. So he wanted to try and get a job with me in the fields. I told her I would try my hardest to get him a job; we could always use more workers, anyway. And besides; with Vash-san out of the house for a day and in my care, that would give Sempai a good chance to send a report to Bernadelli. We haven't sent one in ages.
I was excited at the prospect of Vash-san coming to work with me. It would give me a chance to talk to him about stuff. We'd never really done much talking in the first place, so I thought it might be fun. But now he simply lags behind me, seemingly taking in all the scenery he's seen a hundred times before. It's funny about Vash-san: he could live in one room his whole entire life, but every time he'd turn around, he'd see something new.
Right now, though, it's getting kind of irritating. I don't get irritated much. I finally turn Vash-san and he stops walking, his hands still in his pockets and his eyes focused on me.
"Vash-san, we've got to hurry!" I tell him, although, in all honesty, we don't really need to hurry. My shift doesn't start until noon, although I do like to get there early to see how things are going. Vash-san nods at me, noting my slight tone of impatience, and quickens his step. He manages to catch up to me, and we proceed to walk side by side.
The silence is uncomfortable now that he's beside me. I start to wonder if I should have told him to hurry. There are so many things I want to talk to him about and ask him, but no way of easily going about it, so I don't speak at all and it makes me feel anxious. Vash-san doesn't seem uncomfortable at all, though, just casual like he always is and that makes me feel even more anxious. I wonder if I should just start running to work, or if I should just be blunt like I always used to be and say what's on my mind. I've been a lot more cautious lately about what I say, just like Sempai's been a lot quieter. Thinking this, for some reason, makes me feel even more anxious than before, and I can swear my stomach is starting to twist itself up and—
"Do you…" Vash-san's voice startles me, and I turn to look at him. He's looking down at his feet thoughtfully, his hands jammed into his pockets. I look at him questioningly, and he blushes, suddenly, just as Sempai had earlier this morning.
"Do I what?" I ask, suddenly curious. But my curiosity seems to make him nervous and he turns toward one of the buildings on either side of us, approaching a shop that clearly smells of fresh-baked goodies. He stops at the doorway and leans against it, looking in my direction but not really looking at me.
"Do you think that we should?" He asks, a strange note in his voice. I look at the sign of the shop: it reads MISS MOLLIE'S BAKERY in big bold letters. I grin at him.
"Get some food?" I ask, walking toward him. He looks around him, notices the sign, and seemingly realizes where he is only then. He blinks and then smiles as he shakes his head.
"No, that's not what I meant," he said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I mean, do you think that… she and I… should…"
He stops, blushing furiously as I realize for myself what he's about to ask. By "she" I'm sure he means Sempai. Still not using her name, I notice faintly. I also take the small hint in his voice that he must have overheard some of our conversation earlier that morning. And what comes after "should…" Should… what?
I become excited as I realize. "Marry?" I ask, my voice not hiding my excitement. Vash-san looks up to me, his eyes wide and his face red. He opens his mouth as if to speak, but nothing comes out, only a faint squeak that I pay no attention to. "Of course I think you should!" My answer is without hesitation.
His hands return to his pockets, suddenly, and he looks down at his feet again. Thinking again. Wondering again. Worrying again, just like Sempai.
"Vash-san…" I say, not really sure of what to say next. However, the words come pouring out of my mouth before I have time to stop them or even realize what they are. "You shouldn't worry. Sempai really loves you; I can see it all the time!"
He smiles, a little; almost wryly. "It's not that…" he says, his voice almost a murmur. "I'm not worried… just concerned…."
"About her?"
He doesn't respond. Instead, he keeps his eyes on his feet; always on his feet. Possibly the most unoffending thing to look at. Suddenly, he kicks the ground beneath him, almost childishly. "Of course I'm concerned about her." Scuffing his feet on the ground—an act of frustration? "Concerned all the time, even when I'm with her."
"Concerned about what?" I ask, genuinely curious. It didn't make sense to me that Vash-san should be concerned about anything. Or that Sempai should be concerned about Vash-san.
He shuffles his feet, obviously embarrassed. As if he's suddenly realizing what a position he's put himself in, confiding his doubts and worries in someone he barely says a word to.
"Mostly…" he mumbles, not quite sure of himself. "Mostly, I worry about what she thinks of me"—I note that he uses the word "worry" in placement of "concern"—"and I wonder… why she even wants to be with me, sometimes. If she really does want to be with me…"
He stops and his sentence trails off; he doesn't know what to say next. I suddenly realize how similar he and Sempai are in their thinking of each other: unsure of themselves, of each other, of their own feelings, it seems. But maybe that's just what makes them more perfect.
"Vash-san." Firm, like with Sempai. "Don't you think you're being silly?" I'm repeating myself, but it's the only way I can think to get the message through to him. Don't he and Sempai get it yet? "Don't you care about Sempai?"
Looking pale behind flushed cheeks, bashfully he nods at me. A silent answer; the best kind. I smile at him encouragingly.
"Then why does it matter what Sempai thinks of you?" His blazing green eyes look at me, shocked. He knows I'm right. I stifle my giggles. "Why not just be the best you can be for her, and get on with your life?"
First his eyes turn away from me, then he looks back to his feet. Looking almost crushed, as if he wanted to hear from me that Sempai really hated him. "She worries about me…"
His comment was mumbled, but I still hear him. I cross my arms in mock frustration. "Of course she worries about you!" I say matter-of-factly. "Her worrying about you means she cares about you. You worry about her, and you care about her." I smile broadly, walking up to Vash-san and patting his shoulder gently. "I care a lot for both of you, but that doesn't mean I don't worry a lot, also!"
Finally he looks up at me again, this time with eyes that are shining. "I see," he says, a hint of smile on his voice. He backs away from the bakery, heading out to the street again. He begins walking in the opposite direction of the fields, though.
"Vash-san!" I call out as he turns to me, waving and smiling, a little.
"I have some errands to run after all!" he says, then shoves his hands into his pockets and walks away from me.
I smile, picturing shining diamond rings on the hand of a small, dark-haired insurance agent.
It's late when I find my way back to my room; the moons have already found their way into the sky, part way. I'm tired. All of us were kept late in the fields today to get rid of some nasty insects that had found their way into our crop. I want nothing more than to sleep, but the need for a shower overpowers want.
As I near my dresser to gather some clean clothes, it's only then that I notice the brown paper bag on my bed. Funny. I don't remember going shopping today. Naturally curious now, I approach the bag—cautiously, not sure if there might be something harmful in there. However, the note attached to the bag grabs my attention, and a smile immediately finds its way into my sure-tired features.
SOON
THANK YOU
VASH
Though the note is terribly short, I get the message right away. Soon—soon he will ask Sempai to marry him. And thank you… thanking me for talking with him earlier that day. I giggle, suddenly giddy with delight at the result of my own doings. I place the note on the bed carefully—for some reason, it's something I feel I should save—and gently open the paper sack.
Inside, filling the sack almost to the brim, are cups and cups of pudding.
I'm awake again, unable to sleep. On my way to the kitchen to make some tea. Tea always settles me.
Ever since I talked to Vash-san about two days ago, I haven't been sleeping very well. Too excited, maybe? I don't know. Not exactly excited, but not exactly not excited at the same time. The closest word I can think of, at the moment, to describe how I'm feeling is simply anxious. I'm anxious about something—maybe about Vash-san and Sempai. I can't figure it out.
As my feet carry me onward toward the darkened kitchen, I feel something strange: I'm not the only one awake. I don't know how I know this, but it's confirmed as I approach the kitchen doorway.
Though the lights are still out, Vash-san and Sempai are sitting together. Vash-san sits in the chair while Sempai sits on his lap, snuggled up against him. His arms are around her, almost protectively, and his lips are rested against her hair. Together, they make a beautiful picture that almost blends into the darkness.
Suddenly Sempai stirs, causing Vash-san to loosen his arms. He looks down at her curiously for a second, and she opens her mouth to speak. But no words come out, not immediately. Then her eyes seem to glow in the darkness, sparkling with what I recognize to be tears. I want to reach out and hug her, suddenly, but know that it is not my place right now.
"Vash …" she murmurs, barely loud enough for me to hear. I probably shouldn't be hearing this, anyway, shouldn't be seeing it, but I feel a certain need to stay. "Why do you… why do you stay here with me?"
What a silly question! I almost say that aloud, but catch myself. Why are Vash-san and Sempai always so doubtful of themselves? Of each other? Can't they see that they stay together because they love each other? Such a silly couple…
Vash-san closes his eyes, and sighs quietly. Perhaps they've been through this before, I wonder. But gently, his fingers caress her back, then lightly stroke her hair. Lovingly, gently, adoringly. He kisses the top of her dark head, smiling a bit. "I need you," he says, his voice low and filled with emotion. "I need you here with me. Meryl…"
Those final syllables, something I had never once heard spoken on Vash-san's tongue before. And with all the love in the world seemingly packed behind it, as if her name spoken aloud is like a declaration of love a hundred times over. The hand that had been stroking her hair suddenly tilts her head up toward him, where he catches her lips on his. So much tenderness in that kiss, so much compassion. Something else…
My heart catches in my throat, and I suddenly can't breathe.
Need. The need in that kiss…
Like his kiss.
And suddenly I am back with him, back in that darkening bedroom with the sun setting and the coffee on the floor that I should probably clean up, but can't because he's holding me, holding me like he needs me so much and I can't leave, can't do anything but stay with him, listen to his voice as he tells me how he needs me, needs me to stay with him but I know I can't, can't stay with him forever but need to, need to stay…
But can't.
Holding back tears, not knowing or realizing what's happening or why everything is suddenly turning darker, I flee back to my bedroom, where I can cover myself in blankets and hide.
Hide from what?
Hide from Wolfwood-san.
Hide from memories.
"Millie, they said you could take a day off today, right?"
I look up at her from my inspection of my breakfast.
"Yeah, that's right."
She puts down her teacup onto a tiny plate, something that reminds me of the times when it was always just me and her at breakfast time.
"Well, I was thinking that maybe we could go shopping together today." She smiles shyly. "Just you and me."
Of course I accept, so immediately that I think it scares Sempai. However, she simply giggles at my eagerness. We haven't had time alone for quite a while, just us two. Vash-san managed to find a job in the fields, so that leaves us to our own devices today. So, soon, we are out the door, on our way for a day of fun together.
Like we haven't had in so long.
First we make a stop by the bakery, where Sempai buys a fresh dozen of donuts—she hopes that they're still Vash-san's favorite food, because he hasn't eaten them in a while—then we make our way over to a small tailor shop, where Sempai had earlier had a dress fitted. It's a nice orange one, long, with the sleeves cut off. With it comes a green, long-sleeved shirt. A simple outfit that Sempai immediately turns lovely by wearing. I force her to parade around for me before we exit the store, giggling and laughing together.
Finally, Sempai decides that we should enter a jewelry store. For what, I wonder? She blushes but does not tell me as we approach the man behind a glass counter.
"May I help you?" the man asks politely, though a bit gruffly. In his hands he is polishing something, and he wears a spectacle over one eye.
"Yes, I…" She stops and blushes deeply, and attempts to hide her face from me as I look at her curiously. "I would like to purchase an engagement charm."
I can't help it. I burst into giggles, causing Sempai to turn what looks like a shade of purple. An engagement charm! How adorable! Perhaps a bracelet or pendant of some kind for Vash-san, and then Vash-san would give her the ring at the same time and—
That anxious feeling again, the one that had kept me up for the last few nights. But this time, stronger than ever. But what I had earlier thought could maybe be excitement has clearly revealed itself to me as something very unlike it. Something much like…
Fear.
We shouldn't be here.
"Sempai," I say softly, not looking at her, but searching around myself for—anything. Anything suspicious, anything dangerous. She looks to me, seeing the agitation in my face.
"Millie, what is it?" Looking at me curiously. Can't she feel it? Can't she feel how thick the air inside this place is becoming? Some of the other customers in the store are looking at me, also curious. I must look so strange, glancing around everywhere, sweat on my face.
"Sempai, we need to go." Flat out, I say it. Something doesn't feel right at all, so I say it. She looks at me, though, as if I'm speaking from another planet.
"Millie," she says calmly, collected, "this will only take a bit longer…"
"Sempai, please…"
But it's too late. Too late for what? I don't know, but I can feel it.
And then they enter.
Two men, their faces covered with bandanas—clever, we can't identify them—and they both have guns in either hand. I can see Sempai's eyes go wide with shock; not terror, just surprise at the sight of someone like the two of them coming in. We're too used to bandits to be terrified anymore.
They begin making orders, guns waving around, people backing away fearfully. I realize that I am without my stun gun, and have only Sempai's one derringer to count on in case we need it. Sempai always carries around one derringer, just in case. I, however, feel naked, unprotected. Vash-san is nowhere near here, either.
One of the bandits approaches the glass counter, and the old man with the spectacle over one eye backs into the wall, plainly scared out of his wits. I wish so much to be able to do something, but I'm just as helpless as the rest of the people in here, without my stun gun. It would be terrible if all of those lovely jewels were stolen…
"No!" the man behind the counter declares, though his voice quivers uncontrollably. "Please, you can't take those! This jewelry is all I have!"
The barrel of a gun finds its way into the old man's mouth, silencing him except for a sob. He is really, truly terrified. I begin to shake uncontrollably, not exactly out of fear for myself but for the man behind the counter. I know that the bandits would not kill him, but…
"And this is all I have!" the bandit behind the gun says while the other one snickers. The barrel shoved farther, almost down the man's throat, now. He is pale as a ghost, and tears are forming in his eyes. Do the jewels really mean that much to him?
The second bandit suddenly goes off to the side, toward a woman with short brown hair. Roughly, he grabs her by the neck, holding the barrel of his gun against her temple. Her eyes are wide with terror, and I know that my mouth is hanging open. I've seen this situation so many times, but still I wonder if something will happen. That anxious feeling refuses to leave me.
"Don't refuse us what we want," the second bandit says, pushing the barrel of his gun roughly against the young girl's temple. "Or this might happen." He tightens his finger around the trigger, causing my breath to catch in my throat—
"BANG!"
--But he fakes the shot, screaming the one word into the girl's ear before releasing her and pushing her to the ground, where she proceeds to bawl. I can't blame her; I've never actually had a gun held to my head, leaving me helpless, but I can imagine. A surge of anger goes through me, turning me cold.
The bandits cackle, proud of themselves for frightening the girl and the man behind the counter and everybody else in here. And, abruptly, before I can stop her, Sempai pulls out her derringer from under her white blouse and points it directly at the gunman holding the man behind the counter, her aim steady and anger flaring in her eyes.
Dread overcomes me.
"Stop this!" Sempai commands, catching the immediate attention of the bandits in this place full of deadly silence. The second bandit watches her for a moment, shocked. Then his eyes glitter mischievously.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he grunts, obviously amused by Sempai's show of courage. The first gunman removes the barrel of his gun from the mouth of the old man behind the counter, waving it at Sempai.
"You better put that down, Lady," the first gunman says, more of a suggestion than a command. He seems to have the same sense of humor as his companion. "You might get hurt, waving that thing around."
"Nah," the second puts in, on the verge of giggles, "It's too small to do any damage!"
"Probably couldn't even kill a mouse with it."
As they heckle Sempai, out of the corner of my eye, I see movement. Apparently, the man behind the counter is aware of the fact that he is being ignored. Before I can shout or move or do anything but blink, the old man is on the first gunman, knocking him down, in turn knocking down the second gunman.
Sempai seems to take this as her opportunity to do something and I feel her move forward a step—
And coldness in the pit of my stomach.
"Sempai, don't--!"
But before I can stop her, bullets are flying everywhere as the bandits struggle, people taking cover near the walls, behind counters. "DON'T MOVE!" I hear one of the struggling gunmen shout at Sempai, and suddenly one gunshot stands out among the rest, and then there's red everywhere around me, blood, I recognize, Sempai's blood, and there's a gasp and I know that they got her, they got Sempai they killed her, shot through the heart, and everything seems to go in slow motion, her eyes wide open and her mouth wide open, filling with that redness, that blood, and everything's spinning and I can't stop it, don't know how, just have to help Sempai, sempai who's already dead, sempai who's shot, sempai, sempai, sempaisempai—
Thump.
Everything clears. Everything starts making sense. Everything stops spinning as she hits the ground.
I rush to her. I gather her in my arms. I look into her face. I know that her blood is getting all over me.
Her blood.
Sempai?
Sempai?!
They told me I couldn't do anything. Told me to go home. So I did. And I knew those paramedics were right. I couldn't do anything more, not then. They'll get her to the hospital, take good care of her. The bullet went through, they said. More than likely, she'll live. She'll live.
Thank goodness.
The hallway isn't exactly as comfortable as my bed, but I can't bring myself to move. I know that Sempai's blood is still on me, but I just couldn't move anymore. So I sit here, just waiting for Vash-san to arrive home. Break the news to him myself, as opposed to a stranger doing it. Leave it to a stranger to make things sound worse than they really are. I hope I can lay the news on him softly. I can feel that today was supposed to be an important day for them.
The sound of the front door opening, then his cheery voice shouting "Hello!" to whoever might be home. I hear him, and it makes me cringe. I suddenly don't want to tell him anything, just want him to go away, but know that he has to know. So I wait, patiently, rising from my sitting position to greet him properly as he finds his way upstairs and into the hallway. I realize that I probably should have changed clothes, at least, knowing that the appearance of blood on my white shirt will more than likely scare him to death. But still I wait, which seems like an eternity, for him to arrive.
"Oh my god…" is the first thing out of his mouth when he sees me, apparently seeing the blood stain before anything else. He is clutching something tightly in his hand, I observe, as he rushes to my assistance. I back away from him, however.
"Vash-san, I'm fine, don't worry," I say, though I can already feel the tears thick in my throat. I don't want to tell him what happened. Even if Sempai is going to live, I don't want to tell him. Don't want to see the look on his face…
But the words come pouring out anyway, and I'm not really aware of what I'm saying. Vash-san's face turns a ghastly shade of white, almost as if he were dying, and he wavers on the spot. "I can't believe it," he keeps saying all the way through my explanation. "I can't believe it." He leans against the wall for support, and he trembles uncontrollably, and the thing he was holding so tightly in his hands suddenly falls to the ground, making a clattering sound in the dead silence that has suddenly fallen upon us.
Still trembling myself, but not as bad as Vash-san, I kneel down to pick up the object: a tiny, velvet box. My heart thumping wildly, I open it.
Inside is a sparkling diamond ring, precisely as I had envisioned it.
Up, down, up, down, up, down. In, out, in, out, in out. One, two, one, two, one, two.
It calms me to see Sempai's breathing, which, I'm relieved to see, is steady and easy. There is no more blood on her face, no more blood anywhere, but she is pale. Yet alive. Sempai is alive, and even in this dark hospital room, with its wooden floors and sterile smell, it makes me happy.
I hear a door open faintly; Vash-san, trying to be quiet as possible although I doubt he could wake up Sempai right now. After leaving the room once for a bathroom break—we've already been here for about two hours, watching Sempai in the dying sunlight—he takes his chair next to me and resumes his watch. His face is drawn, pale and older-looking, but he's all right. And I'm all right.
We're all of us all right.
The last rays of sunlight make their way into the small but airy room, and I suddenly feel as if I shouldn't be there anymore. I excuse myself quietly, telling Vash-san that I would like to get a drink. He barely acknowledges me as I leave.
However, rather than getting a drink, I stop outside the door, leaving a crack so I can still see inside the room. Since when had I become such an eavesdrop? I want to giggle at my own absurdity, but don't find the strength or the will to do so. Instead, I watch intently as Vash-san rises from his chair and kneels beside Sempai's bed, taking one of her listless hands in his own.
Reaching into the breast pocket of his white button-up shirt, he pulls out what I recognize to be the ring box. Carefully he opens it, and even more carefully he takes the ring out, and slips it onto Sempai's ring finger. He kisses the ring lightly, then her hand; a tender gesture.
"I wanted to ask you tonight over some kind of dinner," he murmured quietly to the air that separated him and Sempai. "But I guess circumstances don't matter, do they? You would say yes either way, wouldn't you?"
Then he kisses her, with that tenderness again. And that need.
That need.
This time, the recognition of that need doesn't hurt me, like it did last time. I watch for a brief moment, then turn away, slipping down against the wall to sit on the floor. I pull my knees up to my chest and rest my chin on them, closing my eyes as I do so. Envisioning how warm it was that night with Wolfwood-san.
And I can almost feel his arms around me again.
Picturing Sempai in a flowing white dress and Vash-san in a white wedding tuxedo, I smile softly to myself, still with a warm feeling around me and inside me. So perfect together. They will be happy, I know they will.
Even if they are a clumsy with their feelings, sometimes.
**too long for a one-shot, but too short for a chapter fic, too. Whatcha gonna do? Make a one-shot, that's what. As is nice for most fics, please, PLEASE review this and tell me what you think. Should there be an epilogue? Or is it fine standing as it is? I won't know if you don't tell me! *begs* please tell me…?**