She knew all along: he was never one to stay. Gajeel had everything a man could ever wish for; so why would he stay with her? She was just a challenge that he'd solve and then leave when he gets bored. But she would never let him win; never let herself fall. Yet there was always room for mistakes. And perhaps she was wrong all along. [AU: columnist!Levyxfighter!Gajeel]
"You never learn do you?" she asked the woman in front of her. She watched those misted eyes, reflecting regrets of the past. She watched those quivering lips. She watched those bite marks, bruising on the pristine skin. She watched herself. Her hands shaking as she leaned on the sides of the sink. She was cold, and alone.
She felt disgusted. She felt frustrated. She was so dirty. She was so shaky. "Of all, you should know," she said again as she leaned her head against the mirror. Tears started to stream down her cheeks. She never learned; like the foolish girl she was.
The water droplets slithering slowly across her skin, mixing with her tears all along. The mirror was drowning in the steam, blurring her shaking reflection.
"Levy," he said his voice caressing her name like no one can. He stood in front of her with his arms across his chest. She never took notice of how his biceps would tense that never took notice of how firm his muscles were. But now she did. And she knew she shouldn't have. Now, how could she ever look at him without faltering? She could only curse herself for such stupidity. The question why and how he managed to get in her office; and the fact that everyone suddenly disappeared from the room didn't come in grasp.
His eyes were dark with some sinister glow. She couldn't put it to words. She couldn't. All she knew is that she could get lost in those eyes. She'd get lost in ecstasy so tempting. But regret it in the end. She looked away avoiding his intent gaze. She'd been burning.
Her coffee stood forgotten on her table. The morning paper held her attention no more.
She turned away but Gajeel held her tightly like no other man would dare. She paused before flicking him away as quick as she can. But for a moment she knew she was weak. But she wouldn't let him now.
Never.
In a second, she saw softness in his eyes. She saw him looking at her as if he was afraid to lose her. Just an instant. And it all disappeared. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" he said with his voice thundering.
"What do you want?" she said trying to escape. But he held her again, this time tighter. "What the fuck, McGarden?! Just the other day—"he growled. There was no endearment or even the petname he had given her. He was serious. Dead serious.
"Just the other day I almost gave myself to you?" she said a mocking laugh echoing as well from the four walls of the office. "Is that it, Gajeel? You want to continue?" She knew everyone outside could hear her. But it barely mattered now.
He remained silent his lips in a straight line. He just stared at her. But she didn't want to lose. So she turned back to face him. She let her dress drop on the floor. "Here, get it and be done with it," she bitterly. She knew not even that man could reject the idea. And he was just like him. He would never refuse a good fuck with a good body.
It would hurt but she'd prove herself right. If he was going to break her heart, it better be quick. And maybe she'd move on.
She stared at him straight in the eyes. She saw surprise. Then anger. There was so much rage twisted on his viciously handsome face. Then she was pinned to the wall like a doll. He would never deny such a thing. She was right. For an instant she thought he wouldn't. But she had been right all along; he was just like him.
"That's all it was!" he screamed baring his teeth like the beast he is. He pressed himself harder against her, almost knocking her out of breath. "I was just that? I was just a fuck buddy? So it was all a game to get me to bite you?" he asked his voice sounding more of a thunder each word he spoke. "Guess what, McGarden, you got me. I'm so hanged up to you! I can't think about anything else but you. Why were your real smiles so rare? Why do you live in the past? Why can't I have you? Why did you leave that night? Why did you hold back?" Then it turned soft, almost gentle. He cracked a bitter smile. It stung her.
"You got me, hell I'd give up my goddamn belt if you told me to. But, no, you just wanted a fuck buddy, well, here I am. You got yourself a fuck buddy. I hope you're happy, you got me, the almighty Gajeel fucking Redfox; like a trophy everyone wants to badly." He said followed by a bark of laughter.
"What game, Gajeel?!" she shouted back. "What are you talking about?!"
"I love you, McGarden! I fucking do!" he said,"You won, McGarden," he whispered as he let her go. Things seemed to have gotten out of hand as he turned around.
She won?
"Y-you don't know what you're talking about," she said her voice holding no conviction. "You—"
"I am not Dreyar, McGarden," he said softly but she heard it and it made her flinch. The sound of his name was so familiar yet so foreign. It made her cringe harshly inside. She hadn't heard that name said from anyone for a long, long time.
"Don't you mention him again!" she said before she could stop herself.
"I am the real deal," his voice thundered again. This made her stop whatever she was about to say. "I am no fuck buddy. But if that's what you want I'll give it." He took a few steps away from her but had paused when she replied.
"No, people like you are not real dealers—"she started softly with mock in her tone.
"What do you know about people like me, McGarden?" he said turning ever so slightly. "You merely know my name and my sport. You didn't give me a chance to show you beyond that piercings and tattoos I wear." This time, his voice sounded so even; so blank. It held the same coldness that he gave on their first meeting. "You don't know what's beneath."
He was supposed to be just an article for her to write. His grand one minute fight with the legend Orga in the main event was an object or interest for the sports enthusiasts. Not him.
He left her there. She couldn't believe it. Now it was harder to understand what she felt. And all she could do is weep; weep like the little girl that she is. She was confused; so, so confused. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Her hand was over her bruised lips. His kisses always left her broken and confused.
Had she really lived in the past all this time? Why hadn't she moved on? Had she made the wrong move? Had he really loved her for real?
Her body continued to tremble upon the cold floor. Her heart aflame.
The door creaked and she knew someone had slipped in her office. It made her tremble to be found so broken and miserable by anyone and perhaps him. Her fingers scrambled on the clothes that lay beneath her on the floor. She was strong. She was okay. She'd been through worst.
A coat was hung over her shoulders, and a new warm coffee invading her nose. Juvia smiled kindly at her almost with sympathy she barely shows. "It's alright to cry," she said.
Her sobs filled the air; heartbreaking sobs. With steady hands Juvia held her friend, knowing full well, "Love is never easy".
a.n: I am least satisfied of this one. It has vague plot, and was written in a plain style. This was originally written on April 12, 2014 and was titled, 'All Broken Dreams' which is now a title of another fic I have in mind haha. Because not all GajEvy ends with a happy ever after.