A/N:
Prior to reading, please note that this is a bit different of a fic than most people are likely used to. This story is set in present times. That means the characters are as close to age as possible. Meaning, Casey/Derek are (similar) ages to Mike/Ashley, Lizzie/Edwin are (almost) synonymous to their ages they'd be now in 2018. Because of this, the tone of the fanfic will be a bit different. I promise there will be Dasey, but as Mike/Ash are in their 30's now, this fic will reflect the way they're more likely to act (in my mind at least lol.) (This means, subtlety will happen more often than not.) Also, shout out to Ashley and Mike for reigniting my Dasey spark by teasing a possible reading of fanfics in the near future. Hint, hint, pick me lol. . Anyway, enjoy the first chapter of "As We Once Were."
As We Once Were
Casey's POV
December 22nd. 9:00pm.10:00pm.
Dear Diary,
Only 7 hours until I leave to go home for the first time in 8 months. The last time I wrote in this diary was after- I stiffened up and stopped writing. I wiped a tear away from my eye. No, it wasn't the right time to write about him. Not right now... The holidays were the hardest time to think of John. I wiped a tear from the page and frowned at the smudged cursive letters.I moved my wrist in a circle and craned my neck to peer at the clock on my nightstand. It was actually 10pm, of course. I crossed out the 9:00pm on the page and changed it to reflect the right time. It was even more late than I thought it to be. No point in stopping writing now. I pressed down the page and turned to a blank one. Smoothing it, I began again.
Life was so extravagantly simple... Every day I wake up, teach aspiring dance starlets at the studio downtown, eat dinner with my co-workers on Mondays, drink wine on Wednesdays—every day, and phone Emily on Sunday afternoons (12pm on the dot.) Life was so extravagantly mundane. Here I was, 31 years old, not married… with good reason, I suppose, No kids… it seemed like time was passing by, and I was just passing through the motions with it. Everyone else in the family was doing alright though. Lizzie moved to the U.S.A. to do a wildlife ranger program, she just graduated a couple months ago. Apparently, she didn't tell George, Mom, or anyone that she planned to stay in the States. At least she found something she truly loves. I sighed. I wasn't even sure if she was coming back for the holidays.
Edwin was well-off in his own regard. Having followed in Derek's footsteps, he attended Queens. He became a therapist of all things. I smile lightly at the thought. I guess all of the small-tidbits of advice he gave over the years really paid off for him. I sometimes wonder what would have become of me if I attended Queens with Derek. After the short-lived fling with Jesse, I decided against dance school in New York, and instead attended the University of Toronto, majoring in Dance, and a minor in event planning. I suppose that the other kids were great too. Simon was only 8, a bit older than the age Marti was when Liz and I joined the Venturi family. I let out a brief sigh. How had it already been so many years? Marti wasn't in university, but she was heavily focused on art. Mom mentioned that one of her paintings made it into a local gallery. I stopped writing and was struck by a lightbulb flashing in my mind. Mom had told me that we were going to be visiting Marti's gallery show on Christmas Eve. I had yet to get her a gift. I was about to open my laptop to "Amazon" when a weak, realizing, smile appeared on my face. I already knew what I was going to give her.
I maneuvered my desk chair backwards and shuffled over to the bottom drawer of my dresser. I moved around packages of wrapped plastic boxes, some with bows, unopened trinkets, and assorted goodies. My tongue stuck out of the corner of my mouth as I reached far below inside the drawer. I pulled out a small and dusty, red velvet case. I opened it and smiled lightly at the necklace, tears forming in my eyes. I moved the silver paint-canvas charm between my fingers, letting out a small laugh, remembering who gave it to me.
"Wait until you see what I have." John's glittering green eyes met mine with a devious look. He put a small bit of zucchini in his mouth and started chewing. I shuffled in my seat and let out a shocked laugh. I held my hand to my heart,
"A gift? For our month-iversary? You know me so well…" I teased and felt a smile, soft like butter slipping across my face. John reached into the left pocket of his shirt and pulled out a small, red velvet case. I felt my feet and toes shiver with adrenaline. I really hoped that wasn't what I thought it was. It was only a month in—he couldn't possibly have.
John slid the gift across the cream-table cloth, past the candle and wine, straight towards me. I shuffled nervously in my seat as I picked it up. I hesitated, then opened it. Instantly, I was so confused. He got me a necklace—which was beautiful, but it was a paint-canvas? I met his eyes, and he looked like he was on the edge of his seat, waiting for me to 'explode' with excitement, to say something. He was impatient, in the best way possible, instantly speaking in his happiest voice. "I remember you telling me you thought of yourself as an artist, so I figured this would be appropriate enough." He sat back, and I covered my mouth, trying to stifle my instant laughter. I had of course told him I was an artist… but I meant as in the art of dancing. I should have clarified, but all I could do was giggle into the palm of my hand. John looked confused, but through laughs I explained. For a moment, he was a bit sad… then as if we met our eyes again, we both laughed, and laughed, and laughed…
I ran my fingers along the chain, then moved my hands to the case. I dusted it off and brought it to my nose, inhaling, a layer of John's cologne still remained on it. I hadn't realized that the palm holding the necklace was now covered in tears. I took it out of my hand and wiped it on my skirt. I let out a sigh as I moved back to my desk chair and back to my diary. I set the necklace, and case on my desk, glancing at it again. The necklace has been buried away ever since he passed away 2 years ago. John referred to the drawer as the "gifts given to the abyss." A drawer for miscellaneous and odd-gifts. Every year, I still put some presents from students, family, and friends inside. It was already full, but I haven't taken anything out since we declared its' use. The necklace would be the perfect gift for Marti. Her and John had the sweetest relationship. Ever since he met her, he treated her like a little sister. He always insisted on taking her to the museums around our house, and we even traveled four hours before just for Marti's sake. This would mean a lot to her… and I knew John would have loved it too.
My eyes drifted to my nightstand clock again, it was nearly 11:00pm. I guess I'll have to finish the entry another time. I closed my laptop, and placed the diary in the drawer below. My eyes wandered to the mirror to the left of me. I looked tired—physically, and mentally. I rose from my chair and walked over. My fingers found the photo pinned in the right corner of the mirror. It was a picture of Derek, Emily, Sam, and myself. It was taken on the last day of high school. It seems so long ago, who I was then. I unstuck the photo from the mirror and placed it next to my nightstand. Just for a brief time, I was going back home, I was going to remember how this felt again. Not much had changed after all. I let out a weary sigh. Everything has changed. But maybe, just maybe, some things haven't. My eyes pierce the photo, staring at the first face I see, Derek Venturi.
The many frosted coats of ice on the car windshield showed no signs of thawing. The orange street lights of reflected the icy windows along the entire street. I started my car over ten minutes ago, but the cold and unforgiving Canadian winter was seemingly glaring at me. I checked the time on my phone, which illuminated 4:10am. Perfect. I'm already running 10 minutes behind schedule. I wondered if Mom would have a full-course breakfast started by the time I was there. It had been so long since I'd been home, I'd forgotten if Mom even made a full-course breakfast nowadays. It wasn't like I didn't want to see my family—but after I moved back to Toronto from London, the 2-hour drive… well… it just didn't 'fit into my schedule.' Of course, I called often, but I felt guilty. After losing John, I just immersed myself in my 'life' here. I suppose it wasn't like the old days anyway, nearly everyone was out of the house. Soon only Simon would live with Mom and George.
I released a breath of hot air, which fogged up the driver side window. It felt like I had been scratching away the ice for decades. I shook away some of the bits of frost that coated my boots and finally stepped inside the car. I bit my finger nail as I peered down at the road. It was pretty icy, and no salt truck had come through yet. After adjusting my GPS to main-roads, I plugged my phone into the car lighter. I shut my eyes for a moment, "John, please let this trip go well for me… Let it show me where I need to go." With that, I huffed an emotional breath and moved the car into drive. As I did so, in my rear-view mirror a salt truck immerged behind me. I looked to the road with glossy eyes and smiled.
"Alright, now you're just showing off."
The fading stars seemed to perk up in that moment, and so did I, beginning the journey home, and beginning something new for the first time in forever.
Hello! Thank you for reading the first chapter of "As We Once Were." This story is a bit different than the fanfics I've written previously about LWD. (Yes, though this is my first story on my account, I have written about 3-4 other fanfics in the past, on another account.) So, real story, I cannot find the email that I used for that account, so I'm starting fresh. Maybe sometime I'll reveal who I was, as couple of the stories were actually widely followed. Perhaps one day, they'll get finished. Anyway—after seeing the Dasey revival on fanfiction brought upon by feed-fat-tommy, I decided that it was time for me to write (LWD) again! I plan to update this often, and soon. I don't have school for a couple more months. Please review if you'd like, (it makes me smile .) Please follow if you so desire! Also please check out feed-fat-tommy's stories. They are amazing. 3
-EE