I don't own any of these characters, so don't sue me or anything D:
I'd also just like to say that this isn't what I think about pairings xD I have nothing against them, I am just writing what I think the character's reactions would be if they ever saw them.
It has come to my attention that many of my…'fangirls', as they are called, write fan fictions and draw pictures based around 'pairings'. I have seen a couple of these, and I just have to ask: Why?
For a start, I have never found myself attracted to anyone. The closest I have ever had to a crush is when I met Naomi Misora, who was a beautiful and intelligent woman. I did not, however, ever consider a romantic relationship with her – especially after she pushed me down the stairs.
One of the most popular pairings is me and Light. It seems to be based on the time when I referred to Light as my first friend. While it is true that I respected Light as an opponent and was fascinated by his mind, I did not mean that I was attracted to him. The fact that my fangirls would ever think I would date Kira is shocking. Kira was a mass murderer who needed to be brought to justice, and I would never allow that judgement to be impaired by my feelings. Also, just look at his hair.
Another pairing that frequently appears is me and Misa. Did I not make it perfectly clear multiple times that I find her annoying? She is, quite frankly, an airhead. However bored I am talking to her normally would be tripled in I dated her, and I don't think I could take that. She would hang around me constantly and get in the way, and that wouldn't be very good for me.
There is a pairing that deeply disgusts me, and that is Wataryu. I don't know why my fangirls feel the need to pair me with my father figure, but it is deeply insulting to Watari's memory. He has looked after me from when I was young, so I think it could count as incest. Please stop this at once.
I also find myself paired with various Task Force members. Let me run through them quickly. Soichiro is 23 years older than me, and he is married with two children. Matsuda is an airhead. Aizawa has marriage problem, so is not likely to be interested in another relationship. Ide, although re-joining the team later on, left because of me, so he cannot be trusted. Mogi is very reserved. Ukita is dead. This, plus the fact that I am attracted to none of these, should be proof enough that I would never be in a romantic relationship with any of them.
Although there are many other pairings that I find shocking, I feel that I have presented my case well enough. I would never be in any of these pairings, so please do not refer to them when talking about me.
- L