Author's notes:
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Cats the Musical. I never have, and probably never will. I do plan on owning Cats the Animal in the future, but we'll see about that.
WARNING: I never start a story without knowing how it will end, as well as everything important that happens in between. Knowing what I know about this story, I would strongly suggest that more sensitive readers, as well as those prone to depression, do NOT read past the first chapter. If you have any questions, or want to know what happens but don't think you should read it yourself (for any reason), PM me. I won't bite.
Finally, just for a bit of context, Gus and Elaine are both about 3 lives (30 cat-years) old at the beginning of this chapter. Also, in this chapter, Asparagus and Gus refer to the same person (Asparagus Jr. isn't alive yet).
ACT ONE
It had been four months since Asparagus left Belfast to live in London. He hated to see all his friends and family go, but he simply could not find enough acting opportunities in his hometown to make a living, and he was 3 lives old, which is a bit old to be living with one's parents.
Now, while it was true that there were more opportunities for an Actor in London, it wasn't necessarily true that there were opportunities for a Scottish actor, because renowned though he may have been back home, there simply weren't any Scottish roles, and he really couldn't afford speaking lessons, as his only source of income was a part-time job, which barely fed and sheltered him.
One day, however, he got home from the pub, and noticed that he had mail. He opened it, finding the usual stack of bills, and also a letter from his agent (or so he called himself, though Gus really couldn't afford to pay him). Interested, he opened the letter and found out that he'd been signed up to audition for a role in Growltiger's Last Stand, a musical about a bloodthirsty pirate.
Gus was thrilled at this news, as he knew most English people thought Pirates sounded exactly like Scots. Plus, he noted, his ignorance towards personal hygiene certainly couldn't hurt the whole "Pirate" appearance. Needless to say, he had a good feeling about this one.
It had been a week since the auditions, and he had been anxiously awaiting a reply from the theatre group when he got the letter.
"Congratulations!" it read, "You have been selected by our theatre group for the role of Growltiger in our upcoming production of Growltiger's Last Stand. You should find a copy of the rehearsal schedule accompanying this letter. We hope to see you soon!"
Gus was ecstatic. After reading the schedule four times, writing it down on his calendar, and putting it to memory, he wrote a letter to his family back in Scotland. The first rehearsal was next Friday, at 6:30 pm...
It was 6:05 pm, and nobody else had showed up yet, not even the building staff. Asparagus was getting very, very angry.
"What the Fell is going on?" he whispered/shouted to himself, "Rehearsal starts in 25 minutes! Where is everybody!"
Suddenly, he saw another cat cross the street towards the building. Could it be? Yes! It's someone he thinks he saw at the auditions!
"Hello, fellow cast member!" he yelled to the pale Abyssinian crossing the street.
Without making eye contact, she gave him some change, and kept walking, clearly frightened.
"Well that didn't work out quite like I'd expected" he muttered.
"Hi there, you must be Asparagus" said the small, off-white Persian who had recently materialized behind him.
"AAAH! Oh, hello. Yes, that would be me. What's your name?" he replied, more than a little surprised.
"My name is Elaine. I believe I met you at the auditions?"
"Ah, yes, of course. So evidently you got a part too?"
"Yes, I was cast as Griddlebone. I can't imagine why, though. I thought I did terrible"
"Nonsense. Your voice was as sweet as a dove."
"Aw, thanks. So, why are you here so early?"
"Well, this is my first lead role, as well as my first role in London, and needless to say, I'm excited."
"Well that's interesting. Where're you from?"
"Bonny old Scotland. I miss it like crazy, but at least I'll never have to hear another bagpipe."
"That's cool, I've never been to Scotland before. What's it like?"
"Not too different from London, just smaller, and more...Scottish."
They talked for a few minutes longer, and the rest of the cast and crew began to show up. After the rehearsal, at which Gus also met Talberdine, who was playing Grumbuskin, and Kybald, who was playing Tumblebrutus, Gus started walking home, when he noticed he was being followed by a very fluffy someone.
"Elaine? What're you doing following me?" he asked.
"I live this way. Why, didja think I was stalking you or something?"
"No, it's just that I hadnae noticed you before. I suppose it's for the best, it'd be a shame for a pretty one like yerself to be alone."
"Just what're you implying?"
"Nothing, I just thought I'd mention how pretty you are. Y'know, you kinda remind me of the moon..."
"Are you calling me fat?"
"What? NO! No. Of course not. I might add you're a tad fluffy for any of that to matter, but no. I just thought, cause you're pretty, and white, and sometimes you just seem to...Idda know...glow."
"Thanks, you're sweet. Well, my apartment's in this building, so...See you tomorrow!"
"I'll be looking forward to it!"
The next day, on his way to rehearsal, he met Elaine as she left her home.
"How are you today, Elaine?" he inquired.
"I'm terrific, and yourself?"
"I'm great. Just got off work, as a matter o' fact. Plus, I'm in the presence of the fairest maiden in the land..."
"Okay, it's getting a bit much."
"Alright, I can tone it down a wee bit."
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it."
The rest of the walk was plagued by a deeply awkward silence, broken only by occasional comments on the weather, or the remarkable progress their theatre group was making on Growltiger. The rehearsal was uneventful, as was the walk home, and frankly, non-events are just as boring to narrate as they are to read. So, let's just skip to the interesting part, shall we?
"Hey, narrators aren't supposed to develop sentience!" shouted Gus.
"I don't care" replied the omniscient narrator.
"Say, are you busy after rehearsal today?"
"Well, it should be around 10:30, so no. Why?"
"I was wondering if you wanted to maybe go out for tea with me."
"I don't know if I should, I have to get up really early tomorrow for work, and I really can't afford to lose my day-job."
"Well how about the next day? Or any day in the future?"
"Hmmm...Well, I know I'm free next Sunday. How about you?"
"Well, if all goes according to plan, I should be able to pay for British lessons with the money from this play, but that can wait."
"So, is it a date then?"
"Of course."
And go according to plan it did. They eventually became a couple, Gus moved in with Elaine, learned to speak with a British accent, and they had their first child, Jellylorum, 5 years later.
5 years after the birth of Jellylorum, Elaine was expecting her second child (soon to be Asparagus Jr.), when each of the 3 cats received a mysterious note from a cat calling himself "Deuteronomy". It read:
Jellicle cats come out tonight,
Jellicle cats come one, come all,
The Jellicle Moon is shining bright,
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.
Jellicle cats meet once a year
At the Jellicle ball where we all rejoice!
And the Jellicle leader will soon appearTo make what is known as the Jellicle Choice
When King Deuteronomy just before dawn,
Through a silence you'd feel you can cut with a knife,
Announces the cat that can now be reborn
Into a different Jellicle life
For waiting up there is the Heavyside Layer
Full of wonders one Jellicle only will see.
And Jellicles ask because Jellicles dare,
Who will it be?
Find out at the old junkyard at Midnight in 4 weeks.
Party starts at 10:30.
Yours Truly,
King Deuteronomy.
END OF ACT ONE
Author's notes: Yeah, I know that was terrible and lazy, but this was really just meant to introduce the characters for the next act/chapter, and I really hate writing fluffy dialogue, so forgive me. Oh, and it didn't help that the narrator developed sentience near the end of the writing process. In any case, I'm not letting my dog mess with the computer anymore.