note: english is not my first language, so i know there are mistakes in here, but i tried my best, i really did, so please don't be that hard on me:) i'm actually pretty happy with how it turned out (and that is something strange!). i'm going to post the spanish version (the original xD) later (:
disclaimer: everything is mine except the lovely little verse at the beginning, which i didn't bother translating because in my opinion it only sounds good in spanish. it belongs to federico garcía lorca (:
iré al lugar donde sin sueño, sueño tu presencia
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they meet in the most unexpected places, at the strangest times. but they always end up the same: whispering 'i love you's' to each other, while looking for a motel room where they can spend the night.
x
he has always loved her. he knows her by heart, knows everything there is to know about can call it obsession, he calls it love (the kind of love that eats you up, that destroys you, but at the same time, that keeps you alive, waiting for her, only for her.)
when she is gone, he clings himself to memories of times that once were, that passed too fast. he misses those times. now they only are like old pictures, some he lost along the way, some are so wasted you can hardly recognize anything in them, some of them he thinks are so precious, he treasures them like his life depends on it (stupidly enough, it kind of does)
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it's like when he was little, and his mom told him he could keep memories in jam jars, so he did. over the years, he collected thousands of jam jars and put his dearest memories in them, and kept them, never able to open them because he feared they might go away if he removed the cover.
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she travels; sees, but doesn't look, hears, but doesn't listen, because there is nothing that catches her attention, nothing that makes her not think about him for a moment. she doesn't see any landscape, any painting that resembles his beauty, she doesn't find any melody that equals the sweetness of the 'i love you's' he whispers into her ear at night when he can't sleep and she is just pretending to.
truth is, she doesn't deserve all of his love, she's not worth one tiny bit of the undying love he feels for her, but she is selfish (always has been) and doesn't want to let him go, doesn't want him to forget her, so she doesn't do anything to stop it, because that would mean losing a piece of herself. but she also doesn't like the sadness in his eyes, she remembers the times when he used to smile and the whole world seemed a little bit brighter, and that's why she goes. because when she comes back, in those first seconds when their eyes first meet, before he hugs her tight and covers her face with kisses, she sees a hint of that smile on his lips again.
(she knows that it breaks him even more. she leaves him worse than before, she breaks his heart again, she takes all the pieces with her; she doesn't know how to do it any other way.)
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it reminds her of when she was little, playing hide and seek; she never wanted to be found, so she became a master at hiding, but she got bored easily and came out of her hiding place, and that made her feel bad, because that's not how the game goes, and everyone loved to remind her over and over again, but she never was good at following rules at all.
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she comes back. she always comes back.
(a secret: she can't bare it without him. it drives her crazy not having him by her side.)
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sometimes he takes one of the pictures, his best kept treasures, and just holds it and stares at it for hours. they are old pictures of two kids. two kids laughing, having fun. two kids without a worry on their minds, with only one goal on their mind: to spend the rest of their lives together (two kids that are completely and stupidly crazy about each other)
back then there was something in her eyes. a glittering, something that screamed life. something that made him think that they could do anything as long as they stayed together.
he wonders why he can't see those sparks anymore. maybe the wind carried them away, maybe the sea dragged them along (maybe they disappeared little by little, but he was so busy missing her that he didn't notice when he saw her again.)
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he always lets her go.
(a secret: he does it because he loves her too much.)
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from time to time, when her mind is about to explode from thinking too much about him, she simply loses control and starts crying. tears start falling down her cheeks, and she just can't fucking stop them. and in those rare moments, a thought crosses her mind, appears and disappears as fast as a shooting star.
maybe she likes pain. maybe she likes to hurt herself and so she doesn't feel alone, she makes him suffer, too. it may be sick and twisted, but she knows he will love her anyway.
(but she also hates it. hates the look on his face every time she turns her back to him, and she wants to stop, so she makes a vow. someday, she will be able to make him happy.)
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it's a story without an ending, because the end is yet to be written.