-x-
bravado
-x-
"Lance," Shiro tries to say this with as much patience as possible, "We can't keep it."
"We keep Keith!" Lance says, shooting out an arm to point at Keith, who's standing across the room and minding his own business, and who has the good grace for once not to say anything other than "Hey." back.
"Keith is a paladin of Voltron," Shiro says, again with patience, "This is a cow."
"So?"
Lance has positioned himself defensively between Shiro and Kaltenecker, as if worried Shiro might just up and launch it out into space right this second. The cow in question doesn't seem to care whether it stays or goes. It's tail swishes while it stands there, chewing the cud. It has probably seen weirder things than some wiry teen advocating on its behalf. Shiro hadn't expected to meet so much opposition when he casually mentioned dropping the cow off on the nearest habitable planet.
"Lance, we don't have anywhere for it - "
"Not true, there are a million empty rooms in this place!"
"You can't just keep it cooped up in a bedroom - "
"No, but Coran already said he could terraform one of the empty bays so Kaltenecker would be comfortable! He'll love it!"
Withholding a sigh, Shiro glances around for Coran, forgetting that him, Pidge, and Hunk are currently fixing the teludav (after the upset the gamestation's incompatibility with the castle's systems caused). Since Shiro can neither confirm nor deny this allegation, he moves on. Honestly it sounds like something Coran would say and Lance isn't the type to lie. He wears pretty much everything on his sleeve.
Shiro rubs the back of his neck and wonders if this is how his own parents felt, when he was seven years old and bringing home cats.
"We can't feed it," he tries.
Lance is prepared to answer that, too.
"If we can live off space goo for months on end, I think we can find something for Kaltenecker."
"We don't - have the time to give it the attention it deserves. This is no place for pets."
"Allura has mice!"
"That's… different."
"How is it different," Lance demands.
He folds his arms and scowls and looks prepared to wait while Shiro thinks of something, which is great because Shiro needs a minute. He's had a stressful couple of days, and an especially stressful few hours, and this is not the kind of conversation he wants to be having. His head is pounding. Any previous sense of peace he had after bonding with his Lion is rapidly thinning out.
It is taking all of his willpower not to say Because I said so and end it at that.
Keith, surprisingly, takes the reins from him.
"They're smaller?" Keith says, but his tone makes it pretty obvious that he is barely keeping up with the conversation and is one wrong turn from being totally lost, "They're useful?"
Lance promptly sends him into a tailspin. "In what way are mice more useful than cows, Keith!"
"I don't - I don't know!" Then he remembers, "You said before during our fight with Sendak that they were more useful than I was!"
"Well, they were then! Which brings me back around to my first point - "
"Enough! This is getting out of hand. Lance, I'm not arguing about this, it can't stay. ("What the cheese!") We'll have Coran find a planet where it will be safe, somewhere - cow-friendly - "
"No! No!" Lance is so angry that Shiro swallows back the rest of what he was going to say. Yes, Lance is prone to tantrums - but never like this. He stomps his foot and continues yelling, "We are not doing that! No way! He didn't ask to be abducted, he didn't ask to be brought out into space, and he definitely didn't ask to be separated from his family! You can't just dump him off somewhere and leave him to fend for himself, just because he doesn't contribute anything useful to the team!"
The silence that follows is a little too heavy. Shiro realizes that they're not talking about the cow anymore, and maybe it didn't have anything to do with the cow in the first place. Lance is steadily turning red, embarrassed by his outburst.
Keith is surprised into asking, "Are you okay?"
"Why wouldn't I be okay?" Lance snaps.
"You just… seem really worked up about this cow."
Lance pulls in a sharp breath to say something. Shiro cuts him off,
"Keith."
They both turn to him, surprised, and Shiro nods his head toward the door.
Keith hesitates, slowly pushing himself up from the arm of his seat. He looks at Lance, but Lance is twisting Kaltenecker's harness between his hands and determinedly watching the leather (or whatever it is) fray under the strain. His bottom lip is between his teeth, his eyes rimming red. Keith is way out of his element here, and he knows it, so he leaves without argument.
Shiro takes a few minutes to breathe and gather his patience. They've all been dealing with a lot lately.
Maybe he should have been more perceptive.
"Lance," he says softly, "This isn't about Kaltenecker." When the statement doesn't yield a response - when Lance only blinks hard and looks up, trying to hold his breath as if that will help keep everything else inside - Shiro asks, "You sure there's not something you want to talk about? Anything."
Lance manages to say, "Nope," and I'm good is no doubt supposed to follow it - but the word gets choked, sticking in his throat. Lance sucks in a sharp breath and it gusts right out of him as a small noise. He lifts his arm and puts his whole face in his elbow, turning around to face Kaltenecker instead. There's three feet of space between them; it feels mawing.
Shiro steps up beside him. Instead of reaching for Lance, though, he extends a hand toward Kaltenecker. Up until now, the cow has been relatively indifferent to what's happening around him. When Shiro offers up a hand for him to sniff of course it's his dominant hand, the prosthetic one, and Kaltenecker sniffs it briefly before snapping his head back, blowing hard through his nostrils. That's expected. Shiro keeps his hand still and waits. After a little more tentative snuffling, Kaltenecker licks Shiro's hand and allows himself to be petted.
Shiro rubs the cow's head, and glances sideways at Lance. He has his face turned away, scrubbing it with his sleeve, pulling in those short sharp breaths.
"Do they have a lot of cows in Cuba?"
That forces a watery laugh out of Lance. He claps both hands against his face and ducks his head, nodding. "Ah man. There are so many cows." Another noise sneaks out, but it's softer, half stifled, and it's not necessarily a laugh. Lance's face twists, and he props one hand on his hip, keeping the other over his eyes. "I need a minute."
"Take all the time you need, Lance."
"Sorry. This is lame."
"You don't have to apologize - "
"I'm just - " Lance lifts his head, looking straight up at the ceiling like that might keep the well of tears from coming down his face. It's doesn't work. But it's not a sob he's suppressing this time. "I'm just - having a cow here," he laughs.
Kaltenecker looks unimpressed.
Shiro bows his head, reaching up to cup the back of Lance's neck and shake him lightly as Lance drops his shoulders and shakes with laughter, wiping his tears with the cuff of his sleeve.
"Or trying to," Shiro says.
"Ha… yeah."
He lets Lance get all the self-conscious chuckles and most of the sadness out before he tries to say anything earnestly.
"Look, Lance," Shiro says. Lance turns his face toward him, but keeps his eyes lowered. The harness is twisted around his fingers, leaving red marks. Shiro gently takes it out of his hands. "I know we're all under a lot of pressure here. This is the last place any of us want to be. We all miss earth, and our families. But this is where we are."
"Yeah." Lance sniffs. "Yeah, I know."
Shiro gives him a small squeeze, wanting Lance's full attention, and when he has it - when Lance actually meets his eyes - he says, "We need you here too, Lance. We're a team. If you're having doubts, you can always talk to me."
It's as open an invitation as Shiro can make it. Lance gives him a wobbly smile, reaches up to his shoulder and grabs Shiro's hand. After a second, he sneaks an arm around Shiro's back and hugs him, quick but tight.
"Thanks, Shiro."
"Anytime, Lance." He withdraws his arm when Lance does, and is glad to see that his smile is a little more genuine than it was a second ago. Lance's eyes are still wet, and his face is flushed, but he stands a little straighter. "I mean it."
"Yeah, I know. I'm good, though - seriously!" He adds hastily, when Shiro looks about to protest. "Just - got a little nostalgic over the space mall, I guess. Made me really miss home, and walking around with my little cousins, and - yeah. Just had to - get it outta my system, y'know." He takes in a deep breath and pushes it out, with a wide gesture of his arms. "I'm good, man."
Shiro doesn't want to make him talk about it if he's not ready to, so he nods.
"Fair enough. And I guess, if it's that important to you," Shiro adds, "Kaltenecker can stay."
"What, seriously?" Lance almost laughs again, some of his usual bravado coming back, "Man, I should turn on the waterworks more often. Can I have my own room?"
"You already have your own room."
"Right, sorry, that's habit."
"I expect you to take care of this cow," Shiro says seriously, and wow he really does sound like his father, relenting, "It's a big responsibility."
Lance bats his hand.
"Bigger than defending the universe? I think I got this. Besides, Shiro, it's a cow. How much care and attention can it need? A good rub down everyday and some food? Same." He tugs on the harness, urging Kaltenecker down off the hovercraft so he can walk on his own, but the cow is reluctant now that it's fate has been decided. "C'mon, lazy, you've got legs! They're right there!"
Kaltenecker gives Shiro a disapproving look as Lance leads him out the door, and it's not until the door has rushed closed and he has counted to ten that Shiro lets himself let go of some of his own composure. He sighs, sinking down into the nearest chair, and puts his head in his hands. This is a big responsibility - and sometimes it feels too big, and he just feels tired.
-x-
"You keep calling it a he. You realize this cow has udders, right?"
"Wow, really, Pidge? From you?"
"Its a cow, Lance."
-x-
"Hunk, you better not be thinking of burgers while you're giving him the rub down."
"Aw, c'mon, rude! I wasn't," but he says it in that chafed, defensive way that means he was and is sorry for it, "I would never consider eating something that I've bonded with. On another, completely unrelated note - just hear me out: milkshakes are now a definite possibility!"
-x-
"Do cows like to swim?"
"You are not bringing him to the pool with us."
"C'mon, Keith, he needs exercise!"
"No! If he was a hippo - maybe - but he's not. He's a cow. He probably can't even swim."
"What is it with you and hippos?"
-x-
(A/n) Written for the 2017's platonic vld month; day 2 - home. I start my voltron endeavors with langst bc that's who i am as a person. Shout out to this fic for coining the phrase "keithed it", meaning you physically or mentally left the room when someone starts feeling An Emotion, which is what i do on the daily. Thank you guys for reading!
-BobTAC