Oh, look what I found rotting on my computer.

Disclaimer: Eyeshield 21 is not mine.

Something strange has happened. Something even stranger than being kidnapped into the football team. Surprising, I know. Because...well, there're these flowers on my desk, from...ahh...where should I start. It's just too weird...

Uhhhhmmmm...I suppose I should talk about the kicking.

See, Hiruma kicks really hard, as you can probably imagine, despite probably not being able to pick up that much momentum in the space between me and the ground. But even with the bruises they left, I could take an occasional hit, after a short game or a practice. It hurt, but, I wasn't about to complain. It was probably my fault for messing something up anyways, I thought. Even though Hiruma would never tell me exactly what it was I did.

Ever.

So one day I just got sick of it and asked him what he was kicking me so much for. But, Hiruma being Hiruma, he scoffed and walked away. Like I could read his mind! How was I supposed to improve if he was just kicking me all the time! I had half a mind to run after him and make him answer (like that would have worked anyways...) but at the opportune moment, Kurita showed up and explained to me a detail that I seemed to be missing.

Kicking people as hard as humanely possible and leaving bruises the size of footballs on them so that they can't comfortably sit down is apparently Hiruma's way of showing affection.

Go. Figure.

This continued for about a month.

I even had bruises up my back at this point, and had resorted to running away after practice if at all possible to avoid more. Sis even saw them, and I had to use the excuse that the art class had practiced stage makeup on me and it didn't wash off very well. So she poked and prodded at them while exclaiming how real they looked.

Hiruma wasn't even kicking the other players this much, either! Whenever I couldn't escape, I took note of who got his little affection-beating and who didn't. My score was five times everyone else's. Combined.

This was not a fun month.

But so far, nothing strange, right? Just Hiruma being violent. Not too surprising. At all.

The weird part started in the team "locker" room. I was just changing out of my uniform after a long (long, long) day of practice, of course thinking that I was alone. Besides not wanting the whole Eyeshield 21 thing to be found out...it was kind of embarrassing. Everyone else was so tall, and...well...that's not the point. The point is that while I was rifling around for my shirt, someone came up behind me and felt it appropriate to stab a finger right in the middle of a gigantic bruise. Of course I shrieked, partly in surprise but mostly in pain, before whipping around to face my attacker.

It was Hiruma, of course.

However, I only got to see him for a split second, because before I had even turned around all the way he had grabbed my shoulder and turned me back around so he could see the bruises on my back.

"What the fuck are these, shrimp," he said, polite as always, adding another painful prod for effect.

But of course I assumed he knew where they had come from. You can't just kick someone around that often and not know that you're leaving bruises. So I took his question as more of a 'why-haven't-these-healed-yet' or something along those lines and started panicking because what if I wasn't eating enough fruit or something and Hiruma was about to make a meal plan for me and check to make sure I was following it every meal even if it meant inviting himself over to my house every morning and night because I would be kidding myself if I thought he wouldn't be willing to do that. So I stuttered out a response that was along the lines of nothing that made sense before my string of syllables was interrupted by a;

"Did I cause those?"

Uhhh...

"Yeah..."

How could he not know?

I glanced back at him to see how pissed off he was at me, because whatever happened I was pretty sure it was my fault, but the look I saw on his face wasn't...angry. It wasn't even his usual I-could-care-less expression. He actually seemed somewhat upset about something, or at the very least bothered.

"Ah..." I started, but didn't complete my thought because I didn't actually know what to say. Not that I would have been able to complete it anyways, because Hiruma suddenly let me go and started gathering his possessions.

"You need to work on your tackle, shrimp, or else there's no chance for us if the other team's runner gets the ball," he said, focused on what he was doing, "and stop being so fucking obvious about leaving to change into Eyeshield 21. And, sorry about the bruises."

Then he was gone, leaving me to stand there in wonder thinking, oh my god Hiruma just apologized didn't he? Hiruma. He managed to make it pretty rude, but he still did. Wow that's strange.

But, that's not even the strangest part.

The kicks stopped, thank god. Or, more accurately, were replaced. Now instead of a bruise-inducing-punt-to-the-back, he smacked me in the head, which still seems like a bad thing to do but it was fine with me considering that it barely hurt at all and it's not like that was going to bruise.

So, it was...different, but you weren't about to catch me complaining about that. The only reason I'm even mentioning it is because it showed that, er, for whatever bizarre reason, Hiruma was starting to be nice to me in his own Hiruma ways.

And then, once again, there was practice.

Hiruma's Spartan regime was running everyone dry, which means especially me with my awesome stamina, sarcasm sarcasm. I must have been on my thousandth lap or something (or at least that's what it felt like) because I couldn't hardly feel my legs. I wanted to stop and take a rest, but of course the constant shouts of "keep running, fucking shrimp!" and the sound of a barrel cocking kept me on my toes, whether I liked it or not.

The result of this is what you might expect.

My vision was starting to go because I could hardly breathe, and like I said my legs were practically numb, so it's no big surprise that I ended up tripping over myself and skidding face-first a good four feet down the track. This might have been painful, but I can't remember because all I could think at the time was how much of a relief it was to not be running anymore.

I flopped over onto my side, and felt a bit of blood trickle down my face. Which was annoying, but I couldn't work up enough energy to wipe it off.

I heard footsteps, and for whatever reason instantly recognized them as Hiruma's, and decided that either I hadn't tripped too far away from him or he had taken out a life insurance policy on me because he didn't seem in that much of a hurry to save me.

"Why the hell aren't you running anymore, fucking shrimp. You're not done," was of course the first thing he said to me. I must have looked pretty pitiful though because when I turned to look at him and only managed to get out "huuhhrmmmhh" as a reply, he crouched down next to me and lifted me up to a sitting position, looking me over. I don't think I was completely conscious at the time, but I managed to catch a couple of words, like "look terrible" and "ruined your fucking uniform" or something like that. Then I was being shaken and asked if I was listening, and I don't think I responded but a conclusion must have been reached because the shaking stopped, at which point I managed to catch a breather and get a hold on the situation.

"Sorry...tried...too tired..." I managed to say, I think.

"Tch...do I have to fucking mother you?" Hiruma growled. And then I felt something on my forehead, and it stung a little because it was right on the scratch apparently, and it seems almost, no not almost, it's just plain weird calling it this, but I'm pretty sure it was a kiss, and that freaked me out because the only way that could ever happen is if the world was ending, and I was already about to pass out from the effort of running, and I'm pretty sure I started holding my breath just then, because the world started to go dark and I barely heard Hiruma say that I was all-fucking-better and could get back to practice, but I suppose it doesn't matter because I definitely didn't, and he must have just been chewing a new piece because for some strange reason the last thing I remember before passing out was the smell of his precious sugar-free gum.

I woke up in the nurse's office.

Of course I had one of those oh-god-where-am-I moments and looked around before I started freaking out, but I spotted Hiruma which didn't help calm me down at all, so I tried to look away fast enough that I could go back to sleep and pretend I didn't know he was there because he probably was going to yell at me or shoot me or something nice like that.

"Took you fucking long enough to wake up."

Damn it.

"Ahhh..."

"You had everyone fucking worried."

"Well..."

"You couldn't even fucking finish practice?"

"Sorr-..."

"You're just fucking useless aren't you."

"...I guess."

"Tch!"

Hiruma walked over, dug something out of his pocket, and threw it on my pillow. Of course my initial reaction was to jump off the bed and get as far away from the mystery object as possible, because honestly I thought it was a grenade based on how angry he seemed at me, still. But I didn't even get off the bed before I noticed that, wait, that wasn't a grenade. It looked like...

"Er, this isn't mine..." I mumbled, picking up the object. It was a ring. And, well, it looked gold, at least.

"Yes, it is," Hiruma said, flatly.

"Uhm...what?"

I was about to insist that no, it wasn't, but that would be arguing with Hiruma, and you just don't do that.

"It's a gift, moron."

"Oh. Uhm. From who?"

"Who the fuck do you think?"

"Errrr..."

I thought about it for a moment.

"I have no idea."

Hiruma scowled, and grabbed my hand before I could react, taking the ring from me and then jamming it onto my finger quite violently and slightly painfully. Then he stepped back, and grinned and stared at me and altogether unnerved me.

"...uh," was my intelligent reply.

"You're my new girlfriend, shrimp."

"...uh."

Girlfriend? Great. I really didn't even want to think about what that entitled, because I was fairly certain that it wasn't a dinner date, not with Hiruma and all. But, rewind.

"...girlfriend?"

"Yes, stupid. Get used to it."

"W-why?"

The grin got wider.

"Because you're entertaining. I like it."

"B-but. I don't want...I mean...w-what?"

At this point I was completely confused, not to mention disturbed because that grin just kept getting wider and for some reason my face was turning bright red and I have no idea why because he was the one being weird and wait a second, I suddenly realized that I'm not a girl, could he at least say boyfriend? But I suppose it can't be helped, because whatever it was Hiruma had a reason for calling me that.

"I'm coming over to meet your parents in a week."

At this point I assumed that this was all a sort of Hiruma's sick idea of a joke. Because anything he wanted from me he could get without calling me his "girlfriend", which seems like something he wouldn't do, because, uh, well, he wouldn't want someone like me, right? I'm kind of, useless, I guess...

But, uh, that doesn't matter because it's not like I was thinking about that anyways.

"B-but-"

"You'd better be fucking ready."

"Ahh-!"

But of course he walked out the door before I had time to complain.

So, practice went on as usual once I got back. My day was as normal as a normal day within a mile radius of Hiruma gets, and altogether it seemed like nothing had happened at all. In fact, I almost thought I was hallucinating or something like that. But, the ring on my finger said otherwise.

And when I got home, there were flowers on my desk that said otherwise, too.

Though, black roses seem a bit...morbid.

So, if you ignore the bruises, the name-calling, the cursing, the overall rudeness, the relentlessness, the flowers that meant 'death', and sometimes what you could call cruelty, Hiruma actually seemed to be...maybe, getting kinder? Or, no...

Well, there was something else. And I can't quite place it, but it's there, in that deep, dark abyss where Hiruma's heart would be if he had one. And, well...I guess I'll just have to see how this all works out.