Forbidden Love & Secret Kisses.
Cesca sat at the desk in her empty Spanish classroom. She stared ahead at a particular seat at the back of the classroom while subconsciously tapping her pen on the table, shattering the silence. Her face held no emotion. Tap. Tap. Tap. She didn't know what to do. What happened was a mistake. It meant nothing... Did it? Tap. Tap. Tap. Her head was everywhere other than in her classroom until she awoke from her daze because of a knock at the door. Her head shot up, half heartedly hoping that he would be the one she saw in her doorway. He wasn't. Instead a tired eyed Mrs Fisher caught her attention. "Cesca? Are you ok? It's gone six o'clock. Shouldn't you be home by now?"
"Oh.. Is it?" Cesca asked, while looking at her watch. "Guess I lost track of time," she stood up and started grabbing her things, still somewhat distracted by her thoughts. "I'll head home now." She picked up her bags and left her room, being sure to wish Karen goodnight as she walked past and left her standing in her doorway. Karen watched, confused at Cesca's distracted state.
Driving home, her thoughts wondered once again and she reached out to turn the radio up louder in the hopes that the music would drown them, but it was no good. The louder she turned up the volume on the radio, the louder her thoughts seemed to shout in her head. After she came to an abrupt stop outside her little terrace house and firmly pulled up the handbrake, the emotions she'd been keeping locked up for so long took over her. She screamed, as loud as she could and her clenched fists violently punched the wheel. She was angry, with herself more than anyone for letting herself feel this way about him. Soon her anger had gone and replaced by the sadness and hurt that she felt. Tears poured down her face which she hid into the steering wheel. All of a sudden, this feisty Spanish teacher seemed so small and vulnerable.
After minutes of crying, Cesca raised her head from the steering wheel and wiped away her tears. She pulled the keys out of the ignition and looked out of her window as she prepared to leave her car, but froze. Jonah was sat at her doorstep, watching her. All afternoon she'd been longing to see him but now he was there, right in front of her, she was scared. Her body shook in fear as she left the security of her car, he stood up as she reached him and let her pass, without either of them speaking any words. She turned the key and pushed her way through the door, leaving it open behind her.
Jonah followed behind, and quietly closed the door behind him before turning around and letting out a deep breath, preparing himself for the conversation he was about to have. He made his was through the passage and it to the front room. Cesca had slumped down into the sofa and was staring at the black TV screen. She didn't even acknowledge the fact that Jonah had entered the room. He made her way over to the sofa and sat next to her, his body tilted towards hers, his eyes glued to her face. "Cesca. We need to talk." No reply. "Ces, you're my Spanish teacher. You can't keep this up."
"Please, Jonah. You think I don't know that I'm your teacher? That's the whole reason we're in this situation in the first place. This cannot happen, Jonah." Jonah could see the hurt in her eyes and wanted more than anything to take it away. He edged closer to her and put his hand on her thigh in attempt to comfort her, her body tensed and she closed her eyes as though trying to wish it all away. A single tear escaped her eye. How could something so wrong feel so right? For the first time since the student had entered her home she looked at him. Her eyes scanned his face before trailing down to his hand which was still placed firmly on her thigh. She couldn't control herself as her hand reached down to hold his. "This.." her voice was week as she indicated to the both of them, "this is wrong, Jonah. Can't you see that?" His smile slowly disappeared. He grasped Cesca's hand tighter and merely nodded.
"Of course I know that. I didn't plan on this, Ces." Cesca's heart jumped as he said her name and all of a sudden, tears streamed down her face once again.
"What's wrong with me?" She stuttered as she tried to make sense of what was happening. Cesca had never felt like this about anyone in her entire life, she longed to be with Jonah. Jonah took Cesca in his arms and as much as she knew she should have pushed him away, she couldn't. She felt safe. Jonah kissed her forehead.
"Nothing is wrong with you, Ces, and I promise you, we will find a way to make this work. I don't care what it takes, I need to be with you." Cesca didn't respond, just nestled her face further into Jonah's chest. The room was silent. The couple just sat there in each other's arms. Small words weren't needed.
Cesca was awoken by the high pitched ringing of her alarm clock. Eyes still closed, she reached her arm across to her bedside table, feeling her way around it to kill the noise. Her fingers searched the table. Hair brush. Perfume. Cesca gasped as she felt her glass of water tip over and spill across both her bedside table and her now soggy cream carpet. Within seconds she was out of bed and rushing across her bedroom, bumping in to ever obstacle she came across to get to her dressing table, where she picked up a box of tissues and returned to the spillage. She crouched down at the side of her bed and mopped up as much as she could. When she was happy she turned off her alarm and sat in the chair in front of her dressing table. She pulled her legs up so her chin rested on her legs before staring at herself in the mirror, wishing that she didn't have to leave her house. Her room was dark. The curtains still drawn. Cesca reached for her phone and found the number she was looking for and waited for an answer.
"Hello, this is Waterloo Road Comprehensive School, how can I help you?" Cesca coughed.
"Janeece? It's..." Cough. "Cesca." Cough. "I'm afraid I won't be able to come in today..." Cough. "I think I've come down with something. I won't be able to make it in."
"Oh, ok, Cesca, well I'll let Mrs Fisher know, get well soon! Bye."
"Thanks, Janeece, bye." Cesca hung up the phone and smiled at herself, pleasantly pleased with herself. Cesca stood up and made her way back over to her bed, where she got in and pulled her duvet way up above her head.
Cesca woke, hours later, and reached out for the remote controls. She turned the TV and laughed at the four ladies on the screen. Loose Women. Cesca shot up and mumbled to herself "what time is it?" shocked that she had slept for so long. 1:15. "Suppose I'd better get out of bed." She got up and wrapped her silk dressing gown around her tiny figure. Her phone vibrated on her dressing table and she went to find out who it was. She was greeted by seventeen missed calls and four unread texts. She read through them all, one by one.
"Where are you? J x"
"Cesca, please reply! I'm worried about you. J x"
"Cesca! Why aren't you replying? J x"
" Cesca Montoya. I swear, you will be the death of me. If you don't reply within ten minutes, I'm coming round."
Cesca laughed at the hold she seemed to have over him. As much as she hated the circumstances, she loved that he cared about her. It was then that what the last text read really hit her. Ten minutes. She rushed to the message details. Received twenty-five minutes ago. She panicked. He can't have left school. It would be too suspicious and she wanted him to get the best grades possible, she wanted him to go far. She quickly typed back a reply. "I'm fine. Stay in school. C x", but before she had time to press send, she heard a knock at the door. Her heart stopped. "Great." She quickly looked at herself in the mirror. Her face had no makeup on, she was still in her pyjamas and dressing gown and she hadn't even put a brush through her hair. She quickly brushed her fingers through it and tried making it as presentable as possible in the little time she had, before rushing down the stairs to open her front door.
Cesca edged the door open slowly, and poked her head around the corner and looked up at him with a smile on her face, trying so hard to keep in her laughter. Jonah frowned at her. "I was worried," was all he said. Cesca's smile faded, and she opened the door and ushered him into the warmth of her home.
"Can I get you anything? Tea, coffee?" Cesca asked, while spooning coffee into her mug and putting the kettle to boil
"No, thanks." Jonah stared at the floor. Cesca watched him as he shifted on his feet and dropped the spoon in the sink.
"Would you stop acting like a moody schoolboy, please!" It was a command, not a question. Jonah rolled his eyes, clearly agitated at the comment. Cesca left him standing in her kitchen and made her way into the living room. Jonah followed quickly behind her. Cesca sat on the sofa with her legs pulled up close to her. Jonah hovered in the door way for a while. "I didn't reply because I was asleep. I wasn't in work because I phoned in sick. I'm sorry I didn't inform you of my decision to have a day off."
"I was worried about you." Cesca looked at his eyes, there was a genuine sadness in them.
"Come here." She waved him towards her and he joined her on the sofa. "What are we going to do?" He looked at her, unsure what she was referring to. "Jonah, this shouldn't be happening. We shouldn't have kissed, you shouldn't have my mobile number, we shouldn't be on a first name basis and you definitely shouldn't be over my house."
"But, Cesca, all of that has already happened. We can't erase the past and to be honest with you, I don't want to. Every single moment I spend with you, makes me fall for you more. When I'm not with you, I'm thinking about you... us, wondering if you are too."
"Jonah..."
"Cesca, if you don't want any of this then I'll walk away now. I want, more than anything, for you to be happy." He looked deep into her eyes, searching for a glimpse into what she was thinking. "Is that what you want, Ces?" Cesca shook her head.
"Of course that's not what I want. I'm just... scared. It's my life on the line here! I could lose my friends, my job, everything."
"I know... but we'll work something out, Ces." Cesca shook her head. She realised how much this boy cared for her and knew that there was absolutely no way they could just work it out somehow. It would never be that easy.
"Jonah, I think you should go." Jonah looked confused, but didn't argue. Before standing up he quickly pecked Cesca on the cheek, within moments Cesca was once again alone. Jonah had left with not so much as a goodbye.