A/N: Submission for Emmy's Pervy Picspiration... not only did the pics inspire me but so did the idea of The Royal Wedding! And our leading man here is a nice little combo of Prince Harry, Rob P. and of course, Edward!

WARNING: There is a tiny bit of Edward/Alice and Edward/Jessica action before he gets to Bella, don't read it if you don't want to see our princely party boy with anyone else! Thanks to EmmaLeighL for bringing the need for this warning to my attention!

kates3kids can consider this an early Mother's Day gift! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight and my ancestors even left England, so I have no claim there either!

EPOV

The only thing this fucking uniform was good for was hiding my constant hard on.

I blamed my brother for the erection, indirectly of course. He was the dumb shit who had to go and get married in front of the whole fucking world. And wouldn't you know it? Every hot chick in England was out in gale force, manning the front lines of the crowd. Of course that led me to think about all the hot American, Canadian, Irish, French, Italian, African, Japanese… well you get the point. That was a lot of beautiful pussy.

Sir Fuckingham had always been quick to respond to even the slightest chance of sex but today he persisted. Shaking my brother's hand before departing the palace? Rock hard. Kissing Gram on the cheek? Yup, still hard. Getting the usual back pat from Dad? Harder still. Listening to the Archbishop of Canterbury drone on and on? Hell yes, hard as the fucking marble altar I was standing on.

The relatively small gathering after had me stuck in front of a camera posing with yet another dozen of our distant relatives and friends.

One of the perks of being tall and the prince's little brother, I got to stand in the back for all of the photos. We'd gone through my whole family, Rose's family… at this point I was pretty sure we had moved on to cousins of people who once worked for us. This was getting ridiculous. The amount of blood being held captive by my cock was making it hard to see straight or even hear for that matter. The words "Rose's sorority" sounded vague and echoed in my head but sure enough, in a matter of seconds I was surrounded by hot chicks of all nationalities. Holy fuck. They were trying to kill me. My awesome big brother and his brilliant wedding. It was going to be death by extreme erection.

The jostling began as the many photographers angled to try and fit everyone into the photo. A trio of girls standing right in front of me suddenly got a lot closer as the group was forced tighter together. The brunette turned to look over her shoulder at me with a shy smile. I smirked back and winked. Hell, her ass just shook hands with my cock, this was no time to be formal. She blushed but I caught her eyes glance downward before biting her lip briefly. As she turned back to face the camera, I felt a sharp pinch on my ass. It was my dumb fuck brother.

Speaking lowly through my teeth, I tried to be discreet. "What the fuck, Em!"

"Keep it in your pants. You have a whole dinner to get through." He whispered back, the phony camera smile never leaving his face. I saw Rose shoot us a brief but angry look before turning back to the camera.

"Pinch my ass like that again and I'll fuck the first pussy I find." Leaning across Emmett a little bit, I smiled real big at Rosalie. "How're you holding up, Rosie?"

Her glare lasted a little longer this time and I winked at Emmett before resuming my position. It was going to be a long night.

-0-0-0-

I was out of my uniform jacket and had managed to get my shirt untucked as well. That jacket weighed at least fifty pounds with all of it's fucking braids and sashes and medals and while I was glad to be rid of it, I still had something hard and heavy in my pants. I survived the proper reception by the skin of my teeth and was thrilled to be letting loose at a more informal party. More of a friends than family type of thing, Emmett and Rose only stayed for the first hour before cutting out. It was no secret as to what they were doing right now. But somehow my being the Spare Heir cast me in the role of host for the evening. Hell, I knew how to party and the music was great but I was horny as fuck and needed to get out of there. At least we were in a hotel.

I'd been shit-face drunk more than once and managed a pretty good impression of just that as I stumbled from the party and escaped into the lift. I had no idea where I was going but the entire place had been rented for this event, so there was sure to be some willing pussy somewhere. Maybe if I knew what floor those sorority chicks were on…

No sooner had I thought that when the elevator doors opened and three hot chicks came stumbling in. I was already leaning against the back wall of the elevator and it was only when more people got on and the trio was forced closer to me that I recognized them. They were the three from the photo shoot earlier. The lift was pretty crowded and I slipped my hands tightly onto the hips of the brunette in front of me. She gasped and turned, her mouth dropping slightly when she saw me.

"What are you doing?"

Leaning close to her ear, I murmured. "It's what you're doing… for me. See, I've got a big problem here and your position is working perfectly to my advantage."

It turns out the elevator car was even more packed than I thought because the dirty blond to her right heard me and turned around too. "What? Spill something on your fancy uniform?"

Before I could answer, the one with the short dark hair to the left pressed a small hand onto the hard bulge in my pants. "Nope. Nothing spilled… yet. But definitely a big problem." Her grin was wicked.

Tightening my grip on the brunette, I pulled her back into my hips and rubbed unapologetically against her back. Fuck, it felt so good to give Sir Fuckingham some attention.

"Care to help me out? I'm sure I could find some sort of honorary royal title for you."

The blond snorted. "Like Duchess of Dick?"

"Lady Cocksucker?" The raven-haired one suggested.

The brunette ignored them and whispered fiercely to me. "You're a real pain in the ass."

Humping her back again with my throbbing cock, I murmured in agreement. "But I'm a real pleasure in the pussy."

The doors opened and it was only now that I noticed just the four of us remained.

When the hell did everyone else get off the lift?

The girls made their way for the door, the brunette holding it open as she turned back to me. Her eyes swept down my body again. The remainders of my dismantled uniform did little to hide my erection now. She licked her lips slowly before biting down on that lower one again.

"Oh, I can imagine."

She dashed off before my brain could comprehend her sentence. My cock was pressing anxiously against my pants.

Yes, yes, she said yes, you fucker! Go get her! Let me at her! Go! Go! Go!

I'd been ignoring pleas from Sir Fuckingham all day, so it took me a minute to realize what he was saying. When I finally burst through the closing lift doors, I glanced left and right down the hallway, looking for any signs of the brunette. What I found instead was a raging party spilling out from just about every hotel room into the hallway. It didn't look like this crowd needed much of an excuse to party. It wasn't even their wedding.

As loud and rowdy as it was, I was still noticed enough to cause a stir. I'd discovered long ago to take advantage of being noticed for my title. Once I had their attention based on the whole "Prince" thing, I would let my sex hair, piercing green eyes and imposing build do the rest. Of course my target audience was usually women but I had to admit that charming the men sometimes worked to my advantage too. It was amazing how many guys were okay with me taking their girls home – or to the nearest dark corner – after I turned on the charm that was Prince Edward.

Right now I had one particular girl in mind and as many brunettes as there were in the hall, none were the one my cock was pulsing for. Admittedly, Sir Fuckingham would probably take anyone, but I had my standards. A few handshakes, back pats, one-armed hugs and yeah, more than one tongue down my throat, I'd made my way to the end of the hall. Just before I could turn and repeat my journey to the other end of the corridor, I was pulled back into a room.

Pivoting quickly to catch my footing, I found my back pressed against the door and another tongue being shoved into my mouth. This one was soft but insistent and I figured I could take a few seconds to enjoy it. We caressed each other's tongues, her letting me explore her mouth. Her tiny hands were wrapped around my neck and lightly tugging on the back of my hair when my hands made their way around her lower back. Pulling her into me, I realized I never even got a good look at my attacker. Aw hell, who cares? She was a fucking fantastic kisser and I enjoyed the way her body swayed into mine as I leaned my full body weight back against the door. My lips continued searching after she pulled away and finally I opened my eyes.

It was the black-haired pixie.

"That royal tongue gets my seal of approval." Stretching up to her toes, she planted a quick kiss on my swollen lips before drawing back again. "Definitely."

"I'm so glad-" Before I could continue, I was forced to take in my surroundings. I may have been in a private hotel suite, but the party continued here. My brief moment of bliss had blocked out all of the noise but it was deafening. I wasn't sure how many bodies were crammed into the small space, but it was definitely more than the fire code allowed.

The girl who assaulted my lips had taken me by the hand and was dragging me toward a closed door deeper in the suite. Before I could question her, I was shoved through another doorway and assaulted again. This time it wasn't my mouth under attack.

My assailant was on her knees and had my zipper down and cock out before I heard the door close behind me. My mind was reeling, I was supposed to be on the hunt for my mysterious brunette. But Sir Fuckingham had a mind of his own and he was very happy with our current situation. I laced my fingers into the soft hair in front of me, thrusting somewhat forcefully into her mouth. The room was dark and I was pretty sure it was a walk-in closet, but my mind took over long enough to notice the hair was dirty blond.

Dirty indeed.

So this was not the brunette sucking me off.

Oh fuck, who cares?

And Sir Fuckingham was back in control.

Her tongue was doing amazing acrobatics around my throbbing dick and I was pleasantly surprised to find myself bumping into the back of her throat. The wet suction was stroking the cum closer and closer to the head of my cock. I'd been pent up for so long today I wasn't going to be able to take much more of this.

And of course that's when she pulled off of me. Her tongue licked briefly up my happy trail, along my abs, all the way to my chest.

When the fuck did my shirt get unbuttoned?

The blond stood and licked under my jaw before smiling wildly at me.

"Are all royals equipped with such a sword?" The back of her knuckles lightly brushed against my still-hard cock.

"It is my birthright." I smiled at her as she hummed appreciatively. Her hands moved quickly to my shoulders and she turned me away from her. Sir Fuckingham demanded attention and my hand was quick to oblige. At least until I could get her mouth back.

"Uh, I was nowhere near done, babe. Care to give me a hand?" I tried to look over my shoulder at her but she continued pushing me toward another door.

"Looks like you've got that covered, Prince." She glanced down at my hand tightly fisting my cock. Dragging my hand upward roughly, I tried to protest but was forced through yet another door. My mind was scrambling and so was my hand. My brain was at war with my cock. Everything from my neck up wanted the brunette but everything south of there would settle for the blond or anyone else with a pulse. And my right hand was quickly joining ranks with Sir Fuckingham. Traitor.

The door clicked behind me and as soon as my eyes registered the sight before me, I was done. It was the brunette.

The barely there navy blue bra and panties were made of such a delicate lace that I could see everything underneath them. Her milky legs crossed and uncrossed in a sexy saunter as she made her way over to me. Taking a quick glance around, I was relieved to find us in an otherwise empty room. As the distance between us was quickly closing, my hand seemed to be working faster. All orders from my brain were being aborted before they could reach my lower arm. Stroking and stroking, she was just steps away when I came.

Spurting royal cum all over the taut skin of her stomach, I watched as it dripped onto her tiny panties. I was quite sure my mouth was hanging open in shock. What the fuck. I just shot my load upon finding the hot brunette. Hell, I shot my load onto the hot brunette. She did nothing to help my gaping expression when she cocked an eyebrow, dragged a long finger through the cum and lifted it to her lips. I watched as her mouth closed slowly over her finger, getting hard again immediately.

"Mmm. I was getting a little hungry waiting for you." She licked her lips before opening her eyes. Thankfully my brain had resumed control over my body and I was able to close my mouth into a wide grin.

"That's royal cum baby, you can't let it go to waste." Grabbing her by the waist, I pushed her back into the room and ducked low to lick myself off of her. I'd always appreciated the way I tasted, but on her skin it was a whole new flavor. And it was delicious. Assuming we'd reached a bed or sofa or some other piece of furniture, I pushed her lightly onto her back. Sliding my body up her legs, I stopped at her stomach to finish cleaning up. She moaned low when I dipped my tongue into her belly button.

"So good."

I hummed in agreement before working my way up her body. As much as it pained me to do so, I ignored her tits and stopped only when my face was centimeters above hers.

"You do realize I was subject to a full body search before getting here, right?"

The brunette pushed my shoulder back and had me flipped onto my back before answering. Settling her thighs on either side of my hips, she sat tall and ran her hands under my shirt.

"My royal tasters had to make sure you were fit for consumption."

Settling my hands behind my head, I nodded. "And I take it I was approved."

Nodding, she inched my arms out of their shirtsleeves. "But I like to taste for myself too."

Her hot little mouth was suddenly on mine. Darting her tongue in to stroke mine, I moaned loudly. She tasted so good, her mouth was so hot. Our lips were forceful against each other and our movements were getting sloppy and frantic. I wanted to devour her. Wanted to taste every part of her all at once. My hands started roaming, touching everything else my tongue wanted to taste. Reaching for her tits, my thumbs flicked against her nipples, earning a groan from her. Then I slid my hands along her moist stomach and down to her panties that were already covered in my cum. I pressed my fingers under the thin fabric covering her ass and let one long finger venture around to her pussy. Pressing the very tip of my finger in, I was immediately soaked with her juices.

Our moaning had grown too loud to continue the mad kissing. She sat back up on me and rested her ass onto my thighs. The position didn't allow me access to her pussy, but my hands were still trapped under her panties, molded to her round little ass. Her fingernails scratched at my sides as she pulled on the heavy fabric of my uniform pants. When she had worked them down to my knees, I let her climb back toward my hips as I kicked the pants to the floor. Her nails now tickled my happy trail and the skin just surrounding Sir Fuckingham.

"Wow. Royal recovery time is fast."

"He's been ready all day. I could've fucked everyone in the hallway and still been ready to go when I finally found you."

"So you were looking for me?"

"With Sir Fuckingham leading the way." She grinned and wrapped a tight hand around the base of my cock. My smirk was replaced with a sharp hiss. Holding her hand still, she squeezed my hardness a little.

"What are you waiting for?" I jerked my hips upward, forcing her hand to move a little on my hard shaft.

Quirking one eyebrow up, she moved fast. She went from straddling my legs to straddling my face, her mouth positioned just over my leaking cock. Lifting her body up just enough, I felt her soft curls brush against my thighs. Straining my neck to see, her eyes met mine and she softly closed a hand back around my cock.

"Don't want to lose a drop, do we?" Ahh, it was the royal "we" she used. And with that, her pink tongue darted out and lapped up the droplets that had escaped my slit.

Throwing my head back onto the bed – yes, I finally realized, we were on a bed – I groaning through gritted teeth. Her lips closed firmly around the head of my cock and she pumped lightly up and down before pulling her mouth away. Catching my curious eye, she arched her back, tilting her pussy closer to my face.

"I know how talented that tongue of yours is. Let's see what it can do to my pussy." Reaching up and sticking my tongue out, I kept my eyes open long enough to watch her suck me back into her mouth. Thrusting my tongue deep into her pussy, I sucked at her wetness and moaned into her. Sealing my lips around her, I hummed against her clit as I thrust my tongue into her before dragging out and down toward her clit. Increasing my pace of plunging, retreating and dragging my tongue against her clit had her gasping around my cock.

"It's cheating to use your fingers, you know." She gasped, her eyes were tightly closed, hot breath hitting the sensitive head of my cock.

I laughed low into her wet folds before withdrawing my tongue long enough to speak. "That's pure royal pedigree tongue, baby."

Thrusting back in I felt her come apart around my mouth. Pulsing deliciously around my tongue, her rich, honey taste flooded my mouth. Lapping hungrily at her sweet pussy, she gasped and shuttered. Her tiny hands gripped my thighs tightly. My wet cock was growing cold as it bobbed and pulsed, forgotten for the moment.

Taking advantage of her lapse in concentration, I flipped her onto the mattress. Turning quickly, I pressed her legs into the bed with the weight of my body. Sucking tenderly at her clit, my hands found their way up her torso to fondle her tits. Working my fingers tighter and tighter on her perky mounds, my fingers were soon pinching her nipples. Just as her panting had slowed, the gasps grew again as I tugged sharply on her hard peaks.

Wriggling a little, I worked her legs apart and brought my mouth back to her pussy. Licking circles around her outer lips, I felt her shudder underneath me. Reversing direction, I repeated the circle and dipped my tongue lightly into her before changing direction again. She was pushing her tits into my hands, arching her back off of the bed. Kneading at those gloriously hard nipples, I picked up my pace on her pussy. My tongue was making smaller and smaller circles, getting closer to her hot and pulsing center. She was getting close… again.

"Oh fuck! Your tongue should be king!" She stammered as another orgasm overtook her.

Letting my hands fall to the sides of her torso, I pushed my hands into the mattress and hoisted myself up along her quivering body. The look of her coming down from the pleasure I'd given her was beautiful. Her eyes were closed, long lashes fluttering against her pink skin. The sweat we'd worked up was dewy and glistening on her body.

Holding my body weight up on my hands, I enjoyed the sight. When her eyes finally opened, I leaned in for a passionate kiss. Tongues mingling, I let her taste her sweetness in my mouth.

"Yes, the queen should abdicate the throne immediately. Your tongue belongs up there."

"Let's not talk about my grandmother right now, okay love?" I grazed my teeth down her neck and sucked on the hollow of her collarbone. "Besides, you should really give my cock a chance before you promote my tongue." Returning to her mouth, I sucked on her lower lip, "It might be a hard decision."

Pressing her hips into mine, Sir Fuckingham was briefly pressed between our wet bodies.

"Hard indeed. Show me what you've got, Prince Edward."

I'd be lying if I said the whole "Prince Edward" thing didn't totally turn me on.

We were close enough that I didn't need anything beyond my hips to guide my cock into her. Forcing every last centimeter of my long cock deep into her still-quivering pussy, I stilled briefly.

"Here's to conquering foreign lands."

Her laughter turned into moans and finally screams as I thrust into her. Slipping my hands under her back, I cupped my hands around her shoulders and pulled her onto me. Her legs came to wrap around my hips, drawing me in deeper. With a roll of my hips, she was screaming and clawing at my back. Arching up and into me, I clung to her back and pulled her head into the crook of my neck. She bit down hard and it was my turn to scream. Her tongue snuck out to lap at the mark the bite was sure to have made.

"Can't the invading land put up a little bit of a fight?"

"I'll show you invading." Thrusting harder and deeper, I felt her inner walls grow rigid. They shivered around me, squeezing my cock tightly. She fell back to the bed and wiggled her hips, the move doing wonderful things to Sir Fuckingham.

"If I surrender, can I ride the cavalry?"

That was all I needed to hear before rolling us, pulling her on top of me. "Ride me, love, ride me."

She rose to her knees and I watched my cock slide part way out of her, slick with her juices, before she slammed back down on me. She rocked her hips back slightly, rubbing her clit against my happy trail. Her movements came fast and quick, lifting, falling and rocking. Lifting, falling and rocking. Over and over.

"I surrender, I surrender!" She called out loudly.

My hands wanted to be on her tits but my eyes wanted to watch them bounce over me. My eyes won out until she rocked lower and lower and my mouth got a chance to get in on the action. Arching up to suck a nipple into my mouth each time she slammed down, I made sure to bite down and give a good fight before letting it go again.

Her eyes were closed as she reveled in the pleasure of riding me. Finally she opened them and stroked a hand down the side of my face. I could feel the stubble on my jaw line dragging against her soft skin. She moaned and brought her other hand down to tease her clit. Staying low and close to my body, she slid back and forth on my long cock. Feeling my head bumping into new parts of her inner tightness was almost too much. Her hand dragged up and down my face a few more times. Light fingertips pressed onto my lips and before I could kiss them she was brushing my sweaty hair off of my forehead.

"You are so fucking beautiful." She whispered, leaning down to kiss me.

"Bloody beautiful. You're so bloody beautiful." I answered, kissing her back.

Moving my hands to her hips, I helped her to slide faster along my length and soon we were both coming. The pulsing of her pussy drawing my cock deeper in, only served to intensify my orgasm.

Gasping, panting and moaning through the pleasure, we eventually slipped apart and came to lie next to one another on the rumpled bed. Wrapping my fingers around hers, I closed my eyes in lazy happiness. Our breathing grew quiet over the next few minutes.

"Don't tell me you're done already, Your Highness." Her voice was tired but still sexy as hell.

"I'll show you high."

Keeping my eyes closed, I brought my free hand trailing down her body to dip into her dripping pussy. She moaned low as I stroked her briefly before removing my hand. Whimpering at the loss, I finally opened my eyes so I could watch her watch me. I brought my wet hand over to rest on my hipbone. Her eyes grew big as she watched me drag one long finger down my soft, but still impressive length. My cock twitched, waking back up, just like I knew he would. Making a tight fist, I placed my hand at the top of my cock and using my hips, I forced my cock into the tight circle of my hand. She watched me stroke my cock back to life before her eyes looked up to mine. A tight hand gripped my hair and she pulled my face to hers. Kissing me deeply, I felt her hand join mine on Sir Fuckingham.

Our stroking tongues and the stroking on my cock moved faster before she pulled away from my mouth.

"I've had the royal tongue treatment and Sir Fuckingham has effectively conquered Pussytopia. I think it's time to see what His Highness's hands can do." Shifting her body closer to mine, she pressed her pussy against my hand-encased cock. Moving my hand from my body to hers was an easy choice to make. Slipping my long middle finger into her, I pulled our bodies even closer together.

Between kisses, I managed to ask. "Are you an official invite?"

She shook her head, my lips brushing against her cheek. "I'm Alice's plus one."

"Alice?" That was my brain on autopilot. The rest of my body could care less who Alice was.

"The dark-haired one who fucked your mouth."

"Oh right, Alice. She seemed nice." Our kisses continued, sentences growing further apart.

"Mmm. She was Rose's roommate in boarding school. Then mine."

"And the blond?"

"Blond?" Her brain seemed to be taking a break now.

"The cocksucker?"

"Oh, right. Jessica. Another roomie."

"Gotcha." I added another finger and varied my movements a little, causing her to gasp into my mouth. I swallowed the sound along with her lips, sucking on them playfully. "And you are?"

She laughed through the gasps. "Isabella. Bella."

Rolling us further so that I was once again hovering over her, I added a third finger and twisted my hand slightly. "Well, Isabella-Bella… it's nice to meet you."

Bella nodded, pulling sharply on my hair again to bring my mouth down to hers. Sir Fuckingham was ready to go and pressed painfully into her thigh as my fingers kept working on her pussy.

A chorus of nagging voices that were all too familiar sounded distantly in my head. My uniform should be pressed… or at least put on a hanger. My shoes shined. A good night's sleep and a shower in the morning… well, I could handle the shower part. With Bella.

A low chuckle built in my chest as I felt her fingers close around my cock again. "Something funny?" She playfully scowled at me.

Pressing Sir Fuckingham into her hand, I nodded. "And here I thought the rehearsal dinner would be so boring."

Bella's tiny hand grasped and stroked, making me suddenly very grateful that my brother decided to get married. And if the wedding proved to be as spectacular as the rehearsal was turning out, it was going to be a very good day.

END A/N: I'm not even close to being British or royal so please forgive my lack of knowledge about either of those things when it comes to weddings. I'm quite sure Will and Kate didn't have the typical rehearsal dinner that we have in the states... but a little creative license never hurt anyone, right?