Sam leant against the doorframe; his eyes creased tight, his forehead furrowed. He gulped back the tears he was too afraid to show. He opened his eyes and gazed over at his brother, his hands holding the dirty trench coat, pressing the soft worn fabric into his face. Sam bit on his lips as the tears threatened to whelm again. He closed his eyes, sighing, as he left the room.
He went outside to where he could feel the breeze on his skin. He didn't feel pushed in. Out here there was no pressure, no claustrophobia. Sure there was still that small niggle that another hallucination or Lucifer could come back. But out here… He could breathe.
His brother was wallowing in his grief. Sam just wished Dean would open his eyes for a moment, and see what was really going on. That Dean knew nothing of grief. Sam was the one who was hurting. He needed to feel Cas near again. And Dean was hogging the only thing in the world that reminded them of him. Sam deeply regretted never hugging Cas the first time they met again. Sam regretted never hugging the angel. Just to hold him close and never let go.
Sam rubbed his arm across his face, wiping away tears that were escaping. Even though no one was around him, he felt he had to hide the evidence. He had to look strong, look unbreakable. He didn't want to look weak in front of everyone.
He glanced back at Bobby's house, as a thought constantly crept across his mind. There weren't any wings. He glanced at the floor. When angels die, their wings were burned on the ground. Castiel never burned his wings. He quickly glanced back at the house, before making up his mind.
He ran to the Impala, and breathed a sigh of relief when he found it open with the keys in the ignition. Dean must have forgotten to take them out. He started the engine, pausing to check if anyone had noticed. Bobby and Dean wanted him to stay in the house. To keep an eye on him, to make sure he didn't collapse or something. He floored the accelerator and escaped before Bobby or Dean came running to find out where he was. He didn't stop into he was parked up near the reservoir. He got out and slammed the door.
His eyes searched across the surface of the water searching for any sign. But when he found none his heart fell. As another wave of nausea, tears and pain washed over him, he collapsed to his knees. He didn't stop the tears this time. He let them flow.
"Cas?" He pleaded; his voice thick with tears. "Cas, I know… I know you won't be able to hear me. You're probably wherever it is Angels go when they die. But if there is any chance… any hope that you can hear me…" He glanced at the sky. "I… We need you Cas. Dean is falling apart. He's never really had a best friend before. He's always kinda stuck with me. But he let you in. He needs you back."
Sam glanced at the floor. His throat clenched up with the words he really wanted to say. But something helped them back. His own fear, he thought. But not really. It was the fact that what he really wanted to say wouldn't be heard. He stared at his hands clenched into fists on his knees, and he took a deep breath in. He glanced back up at the sky.
"I… I need you Cas. And I don't mean for Dean. I need you. You were always there for me. And even when Dean felt betrayed by you, I've always believed in you! Every second… Every day, I've believed in you. I knew you would always be there for us. I need to believe that your still there Cas. I've had so many hopes, beliefs, dreams shattered and ripped away from me… I couldn't bear to lose you too."
He gulped as he stared at the mud beneath his knees again. "I'm not doing so good Cas. Lucifer is… tormenting me. He says I'm still down there. That none of this is real. None of the past year was real. I need to know. I need your help."
A splash caught his attention. He glanced up and saw more splashing, as if someone was struggling. Without second thought he leapt to his feet. He raced to the water, his heart thumping audibly in his ears, the blood coursing through his veins. He dove into the water, his only instinct to make it to the thrashing victim in the middle of the reservoir. He didn't even think about the Leviathans, his need to protect, to rescue, his hope, outweighed all pre-set fears of being possessed by a prehistoric water beast.
He swam across the surface of the lake, his eyes fixed on the victim. As he came closer, he saw the victim slip beneath the surface. He dove and grabbed them by the hand before dragging them upwards. As they both broke the surface their gasps were the only sound. He wrapped a strong arm around the body in front of him and swam for shore.
When he reached it he released the drowning victim and collapsed on the floor, his chest heaving with hard breaths. He gazed up the sky. He coughed and summoned the effort to roll onto his front. He winced as he pressed his injured hand in to dirt and pushed his weight off the ground. He glanced at the person he had dragged from the water. His heart started beating when he caught sight of the familiar messy black hair. He crawled over and touched the shoulder of the angel, checking that he was real, it wasn't a sick joke.
He leaned over the angel's face feeling for breath, feeling for life. The angel coughed and he jumped back as he leaned up. Sam smiled as his eyes locked with the bright blue.
"Cas?"
"Sam. I was somewhere dark, and then I was in water." He glanced at Sam. "The leviathans are gone." He said astounded.
Sam was suddenly wary. "You sure Cas?"
"Yes. They left me. Seemed my vessel was too broken for them to survive."
"Come on let's get you up." Sam sighed with relief as he helped lift the angel to his feet. His hands lingered on the Angel's slim shoulders. It was then he noticed that he wasn't wearing much.
Castiel glanced down at his bare chest, the waterlogged trousers the only clothes that remained clinging to his slim muscular frame. He glanced back up at Sam, a small blush tinging his cheeks.
"I appear to be a little underdressed."
Sam grinned before pulling the angel into a bone crushing hug. The angel stiffened slightly before relaxing into the hug.
"You have no idea how much I missed you, you nerdy angel."
Castiel smiled. "I missed you too Sam."
Sam pressed his mouth into Castiel's neck. Finally he felt happy. He got the other half of him back, he rescued his soul from the river. Now he could face the world with his head held high.