One shot between an OC and Lavi.
Why did he lie? He could have just said it. 'I don't love you.' But he didn't. Did he enjoy causing me pain? Is that it?
A single tear dropped from her eye and landed on the thin, yellow carpet. It wasn't a bright yellow. More like…like puke. Vomit. It was ugly, but she was fine with it. It was beginning to get wet, she thought bitterly, with all the tears it had been forced to soak up. He was a bookman. Emotionless creatures, she remembered her father telling her. Made only to record history. Incapable of love. Even after all these years, she was trying to prove her father wrong. He was right, though. He always was.
More tears fell, into the miniature puddle that was forming. The 'plop, plop, plop' of them landing echoed in the old building. Why did she have to fall in love with one of the …creatures…her father had hated most? Because, she recalled bitterly, she had though that he was different. She'd though that he had a heart. Even after all those lessons her father had drilled into her-yes, even after all that, she continued loving him. And as much as she wanted to, she wasn't sure she would be able to stop.
'Drip, drip' her tears continued falling. She ever did find out why. Why her father had hated bookmen so much. It didn't matter, she supposed. A bitter sob rose in her throat. Her father may have been a hateful man, but he was wise. And she knew that. She still pushed him away when he tried to teach her something. What a fool she was.
And how ashamed her father must be, to know how stupid she was. He was probably rolling around in his grave right now. For a second, a sound other than the girl's cries filled the old church. The sound of a door opening. Her head snapped up, cries pausing. Again sounds other that her sobs filled to church, this time a cheerful voice.
"Estella! Come on, time to go!" The voice echoed. It was him, she realized. The liar. She hunkered down in the pew, second to last to the front. Maybe the liar wouldn't find her. "Come on! Komui just called us back!" His voice now sounded worried. He was very good at acting. Of course, he had been doing it his whole life. And as for them leaving? Good she thought bitterly. Leave me here. It would spare me the pain of seeing you. She didn't say this out loud, though.
The footsteps were getting closer. "Estella, come on! Stop hiding. We need to lea-" His voice stopped when his eyes landed on me. What a sight I would have been. Violet eyes red and puffy from crying, black hair a tangled mess. Curled up in a ball on the floor. I must have looked pathetic. I looked up at him, betrayal showing clearly in her eyes. "Oh my God, Estella." He sounded so worried, but all of it was fake.
"Get away from m-m-me." Her harsh voice was lost in her sobs, which had resumed as soon as she'd seen him. "I heard you t-t-talking to bookman. You don't care about me?" She laughed hoarsely. "Go to Hell." The redhead on the receiving end of her words looked shocked.
"Oh, Estella…" He crouched down, trying to catch her in an embrace. She flinched away. The action caused pain to enter his eyes. Yet another broken sob rose in her throat.
"I should have listened to my father! All you bookmen are good for is lying! I hate you!" It couldn't have been more of a lie.
"You don't mean that." The heartbreak in his voice was evident. She thought about that for a moment, and when she spoke again, her voice was cold.
"You're right, I don't. I guess that means we're both liars. We belong together." The tears that had stopped in the heat of her anger came rushing back.
"We do belong together!" The teen growled at her forcefully. "And not because we're both liars!"
"Ahhh, so you admit it."She whispered softly. Then the quietness in her voice was gone. "I heard what you said to Bookman!" She paused. "Do you lie to Allen too? And Lenalee? What about Kanda?" She hiccupped, annoyed when the pain her words caused him to feel didn't give her any pleasure. The pain in his eyes-eye- grew, and she hated the feelings that washed over her. Not satisfaction. She had created that pain, and she wanted to make it go away.
"Look, I..I messed up okay? I do love you, no matter what you think." He paused. "But the old man… he always plays by the rules, okay? And he expects me too. I have to tell him that I don't care about you guys, but don't think for a second I mean it!" He growled fiercely. Then he looked at her, begging for forgiveness.
He seemed to get sadder the longer she was silent. She didn't know what to do. The agony she had felt had lessened, but could she really forgive him? Oh, she knew he was telling the truth. She could hear the truth in his voice. But could she forgive him for not telling her about it? There was only one way to find out.
"Can I try something?" although her voice was hoarse from crying, his head snapped up, hopeful.
"Of course." He had expected her to slap him, so when she leaded in and kissed him, he was surprised. She pulled away a few seconds later.
"What…?" The redhead sounded so confused that it made her laugh. After she had stopped, she smiled at him. The spark was still there. She had felt it the first time she kissed him, and all the times after. And it hadn't left. She put a hand on his cheek.
"I love you." His surprise didn't stop him from replying.
"I love you too." This time, he was to one to lean forward.
Cute, Eh?
