Disclaimer: I own neither Narnia, the characters in it or Camelot and the characters in THAT.
OOC because why would Merlin know about interfanatric wormholes? Or plot bunnies.
Plus, I don't think Edmund and Peter are Arthurian fanboys...
There was a cliché bang, and an accompanying cliché puff of smoke that drifted across the training grounds of Cair Paravel, disrupting the training session between the two Pevensie brothers.
"By Jove!" Edmund exclaimed, dropping his sword. "That was a very cliché bang and puff of smoke!"
"Never mind that!" Peter said. "Haven't you noticed the dynamic figures emerging in a very overdone way from the smoke?"
Sure enough, dynamic figures were emerging from the smoke. Well, one of them was dynamic. He was a tall blond knight with a red cloak that fluttered in the wind. The other, not-quite-so-dynamic figure was a gangly boy with big ears and a silly red scarf.
"Well, Merlin, your fretting like an old woman was useless. We got through, just like Gaius said we would." the knight said.
"Shut up Arthur, you clot." the boy with the big ears retorted.
The Pevensies stared, open-mouthed. Who were these people? How had they got here?
Peter was the first to come to his senses, and began to talk. "I am High King Peter the Mag- shut up, Ed- the Magnificent of Narnia. That's my brother, King Edmund the Just. Well, Aslan said he was just. Not me- oi, don't punch me!"
Edmund hit his brother around the head again for good measure, and continued from where Peter had stopped. "I'm Edmund. King Edmund the Just. Who are you, and how did you get into Narnia?"
"The knight stepped forward. "King Arthur Pendragon of Camelot. That's Merlin. He's an idiot, ignore him. We got in- how did we get in, Merlin? Gaius never explains anything to me."
"Oh, it was something to do with interfanatric wormholes." Merlin said to a blank faced audience. "Never mind. We travelled through worlds. Sort of."
"And why did you use the inter...inter..." Peter stuttered.
"Interfanatric wormholes? Simple. We were catching a plot bunny. They're these little fluffy bunny things that have story ideas in them. Our author's lost a few of them in different worlds. She gave us a list. And seeing as she doesn't want to beam herself into our fic as a Mary Sue- can't stand those blighters- she's wrote us a mission. And seeing as it escaped into- this is Narnia, right?- Yeah, thought so. Anyway, it got in here and she wrote us an interfanatric wormhole so we could get it for her."
"Right. I completely understand." Peter said, having even less idea about what was happening thanks to Merlin's long explanation.
"No you don't Pete, I can see it on your face. Not like I understand it, though."
Merlin rolled his eyes. "We're characters in television and book series. People write fan-"
Edmund broke him off. "Hang on- you said that you were Arthur? King Arthur?" he said, his eyes becoming like saucers.
Peter's jaw dropped. "And Merlin. I thought I recognised the names. Forgive me, but aren't you supposed to be old? Bearded?"
Arthur laughed. "Oh yes. The author did mention we were famous. But Merlin with a beard- how could he be a useful servant if he was so old? I suppose he's not that brilliant anyway, wouldn't really notice a difference."
"Servant- I thought he was-" Edmund started, but was broken off by a 'shut-up-right-now' stare from Merlin.
"Was... Was a what?" Arthur asked. Behind his back, Merlin shoved his finger on his lips and slashed his other hand across his throat as if to say 'don't tell him or I will KILL you."
Edmund gulped. "A... A chef?" he offered brightly. Peter, who had noticed Merlin's strange behaviour nodded at Arthur cheerfully, with a winning smile- or so he thought. It actually looked like a slightly terrifying grimace. Behind Arthur, a passing badger saw Peter's grimace and wet itself in fear. The High King's grimace reminded it of Maugrim and his needle-like fangs, and for a moment, it thought the High King was a werewolf. Well, it seemed rational. Sort of.
Merlin sighed. Was that the best they could come up with? Well, it had fooled Arthur, who was laughing and going on about that time Merlin had given him rat stew, and how he'd be a useless cook, and that he was a useless servant really, and so on. "I only gave you rat once, Sire." he interjected. "And that was when there was a huge famine and half of Camelot was eating their own boots. At least you had fresh meat."
"But rat, Merlin, come on."
"Oh yeah? Rat or death, Arthur, rat or death. C'mon, which one would you choose?"
"Well..."
Peter looked at his brother as Arthur and Merlin broke into an argument about the nutritional value of rat- or the lack of it. "I thought they were mature. A proper kingly king and a wise old wizard. Instead..." he tailed off, lost in a feeling of disappointment. "I had always respected them, thought they were jolly good chaps. But now I see them arguing about rats, and I wonder..." He sighed.
"I see what you mean, Pete... Hullo! What's that?" Edmund said, as a glowing blue rabbit bounced past him. It was decorated with a little notice saying 'POLICE BOX' and made little 'wurp wurp' sounds as it bounced along happily.
"By Jove! A blue rabbit! Not a Narnian animal, that's for sure- could it be one of those 'plot bunnies' the gangly one- It's odd to call such a young man Merlin- was talking about?" Peter said. He poked his sword in between Merlin and Arthur, who looked like they were about to start a particularly violent fight. "I believe we've spotted one of your rabbit creatures."
The legendary figures stopped their petty argument. "Where?" Arthur whispered, already going into hunter mode.
"There." Peter replied, pointing to a faint blue glow coming from behind a shrubbery. Arthur pulled out a silvery net from a pouch on his belt. It seemed to Peter that is was rippling and shimmering in a strange fashion, almost like water. Perhaps it was just a trick of the light. "Nobody move." Arthur said. "I know how to deal with this."
He crept closer to the shrubbery, hardly breathing. The author had told him they were fast, and he didn't want to be running around for Merlin to laugh at him. He took another few steps and opened up the net. Another few steps and he was there.
Merlin sneezed.
He clapped a hand to his mouth once he realised his mistake, but it was too late. The plot bunny froze, then came to its senses and fled. Merlin muttered something under his breath, his eyes flashed gold and the plot bunny fell into a small hole that appeared under its tiny blue feet. This gave Arthur time to fling a net over the creature, which emitted a few more 'wurp wurp' sounds before falling silent. Its ears flopped downwards. Arthur looked stupidly proud of himself for doing something as small as catching a rabbit. "See that, Merlin? That is what you call skill. Not many people could do that."
"Well, I'd say a lot of people, actually- it is easy to catch a rabbit." Edmund said. "You could do it, Pete, couldn't you? I could. Susan could. I bet even Lucy could. Although she would let it go immediately, and probably cry."
Arthur was just about to retaliate, but was interrupted by some newcomers. "Ed, Pete, what's going on? We just came back from archery practice and thought we heard some voices." It was Susan. Lucy was with her. "Anyway, who are these people?"
"King Arthur Pendragon. Also Merlin, he's my servant and an idiot-"
"-Not as stupid as some people-" Merlin interjected.
"-As I was saying, ignore him. I presume you're siblings, is that right?"
"Yes, I'm Queen Lucy. The Valiant."
"And I'm Queen Susan. The Gentle."
"Nice to meet you." Arthur said, tying up the top of the net containing the plot bunny with a thick rope. "We were just leaving, actually."
"They had to catch that rabbit thing. It's complicated, I'll explain later. Something about- what were they, Ed? Interfanatric worm-moles?"
"Wormholes" Edmund corrected his brother.
Susan and Lucy stared at him. "What are they?" Lucy asked.
"No idea." her brother replied. "Merlin said something about them."
"We travelled. Through universes. A quest. It's complicated. Anyway, we should be going. Our next stop's... um... Brooklyn, I think. Some sort of Institute." Merlin said.
Arthur flashed a quick grin. "Goodbye! Lovely to meet you all!"
"Wait!" Edmund cried.
Merlin and Arthur looked at him. "What?" Arthur said.
"Could you sign this?" Edmund asked, holding out a crumpled piece of parchment. It had obviously been sitting in a pocket for a while. "Both of you?"
Arthur took it. "Merlin, you don't still have that quill I threw at you earlier, do you? And the ink?"
"Hang on. Just a second." Merlin replied, searching the bag he had slung over his back. "Aha! There we are, sire!"
Arthur took the proffered pen and quill and signed the parchment, then gave it to Merlin, who scrawled out a signature. Or at least, that's what he called it. It looked more like a funny squiggle with a dot above it. He then passed it back to Edmund, who thanked him awkwardly. The king and the warlock then disappeared into another cliché puff of smoke after pulling a red lever on a small contraption.
"Well," said Peter. "That was a jolly strange pair of people."
"So, Ed, why were they there? You seem to be the best informed out of us all." Susan asked.
Edmund was preoccupied with the paper.
"Ed!" Lucy said, shaking his shoulder. He didn't react.
"Look at this. I've got King Arthur's signature! And Merlin's! I didn't even know they were real before today."
"Ed!"
"Oh, sorry. Well..."
Next up: Merlin and Arthur visit the Institute!
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- Mordretta.