Ok guys this is just a mindless ramble if you like it fine if not that's fine too just no flames please. I've been really confused about a lot of things lately and I'm hoping that a quick songfic will take my mind off that. I'm not writing it to try to get good reviews, I'm just writing to get things off my chest and I don't know how I'm going to end this but if it ends badly I'm sorry, this is just from Sodas POV and him thinking.

All my life I used to think I had it pretty good, good friends, decent job, good parents who loved me. I had a good life, but as I got older, and after mom and dad died I began thinking differently. Sure I still have my friends, but things aren't the same as they used to be. With mom and dad around everyone got along great, no one fought and the only thing we had to worry about was Socs. But since they died the gang just didn't seem as tight anymore. Even the person I was closer to than anyone didn't turn out to be who I thought she was.

Isn't it weird. Isn't it strange.
Even though we're just two strangers on this runaway train
We're both trying to find a place in the sun
We've lived in the shadows but doesn't everyone
Isn't it strange how we all feel a little bit weird sometimes

When I met Sandy I thought that this was the girl I could spend the rest of my life with, and I was ready to. Until I found out she was pregnant, and the baby wasn't mine. After spending night after night crying alone in my room, wondering why she had cheated, why she didn't love me like she said she did, wondering what I had done to drive her away. I finally broke down and ended up running from my brothers, trying to be alone but they followed anyway.

Isn't it hard. Standing in the rain.
You're on the verge of going crazy and your heart's in pain
No one can hear though you're screaming so loud
You feel all alone in a faceless crowd
Isn't it strange how we all get a little bit weird sometimes.

Pony and Darry fought constantly, and I just couldn't deal with them fighting, and Sandy leaving anymore, it was all too much and I felt like I was standing in the middle of the house screaming at everyone to stop yet no one was listening, or even cared that I was there. And that's the way its been since Dally and Johnny died. As if life wasn't hard enough after mom and dad Johnny had to die, and to make matters worse Dally went on a suicide mission to join Johnny. Not thinking what this would do to the gang, and how it would break us up slowly.

Sitting on the side. Waiting for a sign. Hoping that my luck will
change.
Reaching for a hand that can understand, someone who feels the same.
When you live in a cookie cutter world being different is a sin.
So you don't stand out. And you don't fit in. Weird.

Although Johnny's death wasn't his fault Dallys was. Johnny died a hero and Dallas died a coward who was too afraid to go on without his buddy. I know it seems harsh but it's the truth, and I just wish he would have realized that things eventually get easier. But no, instead he gets himself causing the gang to lose 2 people we cared about instead of one, and for my brothers and me we lost 4 people we loved. But I guess no one ever stops to think about how their reactions affect those around them.

Sitting on the side. Waiting for a sign. Hoping that my luck will
change.
Reaching for a hand that can understand, someone who feels the same.
When you live in a cookie cutter world if you're different you can't
win.

All my life people have called me handsome, and maybe they're right, but looks wont help you out in life. It wont help you through the hard times you come across, and they wont help you keep the girl. And they wont make people stop fighting. I just wish there was one person in my life that I could talk to about anything, and trust completely without having to worry about if they were going to look down on me, or if they would take me seriously or not. Or if they are going to get distracted with something else when I'm trying to tell them what's going on in my life. I want someone who will be there for me, No matter what, through good times and bad no questions asked. That's all I ever asked for. Yet I don't seem to be able to find someone like that, and now I never will.

So you don't stand out and you don't fit in. Weird.
Isn't it strange how we all feel a little bit weird
Strange, how we all get a little bit.
Strange, 'cause we're all just a little bit weird sometimes.

By the time you find this letter it will be too late. Please tell Darry and Pony this wasn't their fault, and I'm sorry for doing the same thing Dally did, but I just cant take it anymore and this is the easiest way I can think of. I love you all, goodbye.

Ok so I made it like a letter, but was it a suicide letter, or was it a letter simply saying he was doing what Dally did, running away from his problems. Either way I don't know if I will continue or not, please review. And tell me what you think… later peeps