A conclusive proof that I have gone completely mad.

My first big crossover. Expect a lot of pranks, some drama, some romance (and if you hate the E/É ship, just stop reading here). I tried to give some space to some minor characters, such as Azelma and some of the less popular Les Amis. The fiction is based mostly on the musical, but some facts are taken from the Brick.

I have seen a couple of debates about sorting Les Amis into Houses. You see my version here and I have reason for each and every one sorting (even though in cases of some characters the reasons are really lame). So if you don't understand my decision, ask me and I can explain why I did this or that.

Have fun and please, review to let me know that if I continue, someone will read the thing.

1. Les Amis Get Detention

Nobody, alive or dead, human or not, ever missed Les Amis arriving to school. It started when Enjolras was in his third year. It seemed like a normal arrival day, up until Les Amis set off a dozen Dr. Filibuster's Fabulous Wet-Start No-Heat Fireworks in the Entrance Hall. The next year it was Dungbombs, one on every stair of the Grand Staircase. In Enjolras' fifth year Filch had already been waiting for them, but they still managed to turn half of the suits of armor in the Entrance Hall into giant parrots before Filch got to them. It was the earliest detention ever given. When Enjolras reached his sixth year, Filch had been waiting outside, and Les Amis dyed his hair blond and turned all of his clothes bright pink, setting a new record. Not even Dumbledore remembered anyone getting a month's worth of detention before entering the castle.

Naturally this year everybody expected something breathtaking. Most of Les Amis were entering their seventh year and they had their last opportunity to show Hogwarts "the French way". The two compartments they took up on the train were visited by almost every student. Some of them just gawked, some of them dared to ask questions, but they only got enigmatic smiles and polite assurances that Les Amis were all grown up and cared nothing for childish pranks.

They all gathered at the platform in Hogsmeade. Enjolras looked over his group of friends. Marius, at Enjolras' right as usual, was grinning widely, while Courfeyrac at his left looked solemn, with the exception of the sparks in his eyes. Combeferre, the mastermind of this plan, seemed to be counting the people.

"Someone confiscate that Firewhiskey," Enjolras said.

Jehan snatched the flask from Grantaire's hand and passed it to Joly, who hid it in his pocket. Enjolras checked his boys (and three girls) for the last time.

"Ready to raise some hell?" he asked.

"Ready!"

"You know your places. Go!" he ordered them.

Les Amis dissolved in the crowd. He saw Grantaire squeeze in a carriage full of third-year Hufflepuffs and Courfeyrac trying to charm two Ravenclaw girls and their Slytherin friend. Everything was going according to the plan.

Filch was ready and he searched every one of Les Amis. He didn't find anything suspicious, not a single Dungbomb. After the extensive search Courfeyrac asked Filch for a date. The caretaker looked like he was ready to bludgeon someone to death with a broomstick, but he didn't see Éponine slipping past the students and disappearing in the upper floors, and that was the whole point.

Les Amis sat at their respective tables. Most of them at Gryffindor table, but some of them headed to Ravenclaw table and Grantaire, Feuilly, and Bossuet belonged to Hufflepuff. But even those, who were in the same House, didn't sit together. People everywhere whispered to each other, even teachers exchanged some surprised glances. Did the famous Les Amis really grow up?

The feast went on as usual. The only mildly interesting part was the Sorting. There was a new French student, transfered from Beauxbatons. She was going to be in the fifth year and her name seemed to be Euphrasie. Enjolras saw Grantaire cheering, when she was sorted in Hufflepuff, and Bossuet knocking over a jug of pumpkin juice, when he tried to shake her hand. She was a pretty little thing, but Enjolras turned his attention to Sorting of first-years. Éponine's and Azelma's little brother was sorted in Gryffindor and Enjolras had to smile when he saw the little kid trying to look dignified as he sat as far from his sisters as possible. Gavroche knew about their plan and was not going to spoil it.

After the Sorting, Dumbledore announced that their new Defense Against Dark Arts teacher, Dolores Umbridge, was going to arrive the next day, because she was "otherwise occupied". Everything was suspiciously normal. Until Dumbledore sent them to their dormitories.

As soon as the headmaster finished, Courfeyrac climbed on the table and whistled loudly. This was the signal for Les Amis to run to the Entrance Hall. They were the first to get out and soon everyone found out why.

The Grand Staircase was barricaded. There was a huge pile of furniture on the top of it, complete with French flags. The white on the tricolor was replaced with yellow, so it represented the three houses of Les Amis – Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff. Peeves, who had built the barricade during the feast, was hovering couple of inches above the biggest flag, looking extremely pleased with himself. All of Les Amis took their places on the barricade and looked down on the students and teachers below.

"You English are quite good with animals. You have your thestrals, your owls, and your cats," Enjolras nodded to Filch. "But there are two animals French know, and when it comes to those, there is no match for us anywhere. Gentlemen!" he waved at his friends.

Les Amis raised their wands.

"And ladies," he turned to Éponine, Azelma, and Musichetta. They were ready.

"Now!"

"Ranavis!"

"Cochleavis!"

"Wingardium leviosa!"

Half of the wands started shooting frogs. The other half was producing snails at alarming rate. A few chosen ones, who didn't belong in either group, were levitating the animals and dropping them on the students below.

"Vive la France!" Enjorlas shouted as he dropped a particularly big toad on Filch's head.

"What's wrong, Marius?" asked Joly.

Les Amis were sitting in their favorite place to hang out at night – the abandoned corridor on third floor. Little Gavroche wanted to come along, but his sisters explained to him that he doesn't need to get in trouble on his first night. It was enough that all of the older ones got detention.

"Have a drink and spill the beans," Grantaire passed his flask of Firewhiskey to the unusually quiet Marius.

"You didn't see her?" Marius asked.

"Who? There is a lot of girls around here," Bahorel said.

"Her. The new girl." Marius sighed dreamily. "Euphrasie..."

"She hates that name. She prefers to be called Cosette," said Bossuet.

"You talked to her?" Marius perked up. "To Cosette?"

"Did someone slip a love potion in your pumpkin juice?" Enjolras asked. This conversation was getting boring. "Just ask her out on the next trip to Hogsmeade."

"Éponine, she's in your year, you have Herbology together. Can you deliver a letter for me?"

Ouch, Enjolras thought. Everybody knew about the epic crush Éponine had had on Marius for years. Everybody except Marius himself.

"The girl's not an owl," Combeferre tried to stop him, but Éponine shook her head.

"It's okay. I can deliver a message. We have Herbology on Wednesday, you have plenty of time to write it."

"Thank you, Éponine," Marius hugged her. "You are the best."

Éponine blushed deep red. Even Enjolras, who wasn't the brightest star in the skies when it came to girls, wondered how could Marius not notice. Jehan and Courfeyrac, who were on the top of the Hogwarts Girls' Most Wanted List, snickered quietly behind their hands. Enjolras kicked Jehan in the shin at the same time Combeferre nudged Courfeyrac in the ribs, because Éponine had looked up.

"We shall welcome the new girl in the ranks of Les Amis, if she wants to," Enjolras told Marius. "You can invite her to out next meeting."

"Here?" Marius looked at the dusty corridor.

"Our next daylight meeting. She doesn't get invited here until she proves herself worthy," Enjolras sighed. The girl obviously used Confundus Charm on him, Marius used to know the routine perfectly well.

"I didn't have to prove myself worthy," Azelma chimed in.

"You only think that," Grantaire smiled. "Remember when Filch almost caught us smuggling the Firewhiskey from Hogsmeade and you told him that somebody tied a can to Mrs. Norris' tail to make him go to the other side of the castle?"

"Yeah, and we needed a mascot," Musichetta added.

Azelma punched her lightly in the arm and opened her mouth for a clever comeback, but she was silenced by a single short beep. Combeferre pulled out his watch, checked it and nodded.

"Five minutes to midnight," he said.

"Thank you," Enjolras said. "Courf, Azelma, go."

The two chosen ones got up and quietly slipped out. Les Amis learned long ago that when they were leaving their late night meetings, the best strategy was to split up. After five minutes, when the clock stroke twelve, the three Hufflepuffs left. Then every five minutes two of them went back to their dorms. First Musichetta and Joly headed to Ravenclaw tower, then Bahorel and Marius to Gryffindor, after that Combeferre and Jehan to Ravenclaw, and the last pair was, as usual, Enjolras and Éponine. Enjolras because he was their leader, so he naturally took the most risky position, and Éponine, because she had some kind of special power, that allowed her to pass unnoticed anywhere at any time.

They reached the common room without any complications, but Enjolras wanted to tell her one last thing.

"Éponine?"

"Yes?"

"You are not Marius' house elf."