Chapter 1
Haru knocked on the door and waited patiently for someone to answer. He was actually pretty proud of himself today, he only got lost once on the way to Shigures, which meant it didn't take as long as it usually did. He thought he was actually beginning to get the hang of his surroundings, even though he'd been around them his whole life.
"Haru, what are you doing here?" Came a voice from the, now, open doorway. Haru looked up and locked eyes with the rat, who was giving him a curious and agitated look.
'So sorry to waste your precious time.' Haru thought somewhat bitterly, deciding to ignore his cousin with his stupid superiority complex.
He'd long since gotten to a point where he just wanted to give up on him, although every once in a while he would do something out of no where by just habit, like greet him before anyone else, or randomly latch onto his sleeve when he approached.
They really were nasty habits.
'I don't need you anymore. I'm tired of you.' With that quiet voice, words so sharp they cut in to him.
"Is anyone in there?" A droll tone dripping with sarcasm.
Haru blinked as he saw a hand wave in front of his face and looked at the boy standing impatiently in front of him.
What was he gonna do, just stand there quietly until he left?
Some host.
If he wanted him to leave all he had to do was say so. Not that he'd actually leave. It wasn't as if he came here specifically for the rat.
He had to get away.. From there.
The boy in front of him was pretty well practiced in hiding his feelings, but in other instances he didn't mind outwardly showing what was on his mind. Like when he was annoyed or feeling burdened by someone else.
Well, it wasn't like he was the only one with problems.
Yuki and Tohru had grown pretty close since she moved in.. It's not like he was jealous though, he got treated the exact same way he did before she showed up, Yuki was just better at displaying it now..
He never seemed to mind, though.
After all, until recently he'd always accepted the treatement because the benefit was, he had the attention he yearned for.. Though, even for someone as thick-headed and seemingly thick-skinned as him, the blunt and sometimes scathing rejections, even though he didn't put in much effort, still stung a little.
He was beginning to feel almost like he was a pin cushion.. It may not have looked it, but everytime he was looked down on, dismissed, underestimated.. It was like pushing another one of those sharp needles through him.
Eventually you run out of room.
But he was still the stupidly devoted and easily fooled cow of the zodiac, being raised with the story burned into his memory seemed to build who he was. Disgustingly loyal to the rat, even when he was laughed upon and called gullible. But, no one deserved that, no matter who they were.
At least that's what he'd begun to think. He'd never done anything remotely mean or harmful toward Yuki and yet he had been immediately cast off by his stand offish attitude.
With effort, he'd tried to change the way he'd had himself programmed for most of his life. Yuki had won his affections for a few kind words when they were children, but now it was hard to remember that it even happened. Did the older male carry himself with his role in the zodiac in mind? He'd never thought to ask.
Or maybe his priorities had changed once he managed to escape from the main house.
'This family.. This curse. You may think this is a bond, but it's just a shackle...'
"Well..?" Yuki asked, tapping his foot impatiently. Blank gray eyes glanced down at the gesture and back up again.
"Eh, I guess I zoned out." Haru smiled sheepishly. Yuki rolled his eyes.
"Where's the surprise in that." He glanced at his watch. "And it's just passed 12, did you leave really early this morning or did you actually not get lost today?" He asked in a skeptical tone.
Haru arched a brow, had he not realized Yuki was this rude all this time? He'd been blissfully ignorant, or maybe it was a hint of masochism.
Changing the subject.
"You know, it's pretty hot out here, may I?" He asked, but didn't wait for an answer, the darker side of his mood edging it's way into his demeanor.
He stepped passed his slightly shorter cousin and into the welcoming coolness of the house. He headed straight for the kitchen, since he knew that's probably where Tohru was located. Not to mention the fact that he could hear the dishes hitting against each other as they were being washed in the sink.
"Hey Tohru." He deadpanned as he walked into the room. Tohru whipped around at the voice a dish and a wash cloth in each hand.
"Hatsuharu! Hi, it's been a while." She beamed happily. "I'm so happy you could stop by." Her pleasure was so genuine, you almost couldn't help but get the fuzzy feeling that made you want to smile.
Haru nodded and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. What else was he supposed to do?
Jumping up and down and squealing happily just didn't seem appropriate for someone like him.
All in all, he enjoyed being in Tohru's presence, in his opinion, her being a part of their psuedo family had made a pretty big change, and for the better in most cases.
'It's only a matter of time before the illusion of happiness is shattered. There's no such thing as happiness here, don't be a fool.'
He'd thought getting away from the main house would be good for him, but he didn't really feel that ecstatic to be there, either..
Yuki entered the room with a disgruntled expression, obviously annoyed that someone dared to ill-treat the precious prince. The look on his face was a sight to behold. It made Haru want to gag.
Actually. He did gag.
"Are you okay?" Tohru asked worriedly, catching herself just before she touched him, realizing that her hands were covered in dish soap and dripping with water. She squeaked and moved to hover over the sink again.
Haru gave a small humorless chuckle, oh he was just too funny sometimes.
Yuki grunted and gave him a condescending look.
"I didn't know it was possible to choke on air." He scoffed.
The sarcastic comment went ignored. He adjusted his weight slightly where the counter was digging in to his lower back and glanced around like he was looking for somene.
"Where's Shigure?" He asked boredly.
"I don't know." Yuki answered.
"And Kyo?"
"I don't care." The rat stated coldly. Haru furrowed his brows.
Felt another little tick of patience withering away.
"You're seeming particularly bastardly today." Haru pointed out, as if it were a fact.
Yuki frowned at him, the look on his usually pretty face said 'who are you to talk'? He opened his mouth to say something, and judging by the way his eyebrows knitted, it was going to be something that he didn't want to hear. He just held up a hand as he pushed away from where he was leaning with the other.
"Forget it, I'm getting out of your hair." He muttered. His hands found their way into his pockets. He glanced briefly over his slightly hunched shoulders at Tohru and mumbled his goodbyes. He heard her reply and knew she was waving at him without even having to turn around to see it with his eyes.
Haru shoved his hands back into his pockets once he was outside. Whether he noticed it or not, he'd gone in the front door and out the back. His intention was to go home from here. He glared at the ground as he walked without really realizing it.
His mood was way off. He just couldn't get himself out of the dark place he'd fallen in to.
'I don't need you anymore. I'm tired of you.'
Dark, piercing eyes seemed to bore in to him, pained.. Sad. Of course, he knew she didn't mean those words. But it still hurt. It was probably better off this way.
He sighed deeply, changing his thoughts back to Yuki. Why was he acting so cold? Being like that towards Shigure was understandable since he was a obsessive compulsive pervert.
He had no reason to be like that toward Kyo, other then the fact that he was the cat of the zodiac and Yuki was the rat.
Once again, living up to the role assigned from birth.
Trash. The ox caught himself roughly kicking at the ground at the thought.
Since it was the rat who decieved the cat, it's like they were meant to hate each other from birth. They'd always had one of those rough around the edges relationships. And him, because he was what, annoying? Stupid? Well, perhaps he was born to be used by the rat, just like in the stories?
Like hell.
Being Sohma's, almost all of them had had confrontations that left scars. But they were still a family, right? Even if it was a dysfunctional one. But, comparing their family to another, perhaps he wasn't even sure what a real family was.
What he felt was frustration.
A part of him still wanted to blame Yuki, and it had nothing to do with the zodiac, or the banquet. It was beyond having to do with Yuki being the rat and him being the cow, though it had surely stemmed from that.
After all, he'd blamed and hated Yuki for his hardships as a child, and Yuki had convinced him that it had only been because that's how he saw it himself.
He'd seen himself in a new light, and that light had also shone on his cousin, who he'd practically attached himself to. Felt he could talk to. But now, it felt like that attachment was making him sink more and more into himself. He'd loved Yuki.
He'd loved Rin.
'I don't need you anymore. I'm tired of you.'
He shoved his fingers through his messy white hair as he stopped walking and looked around for a moment.
"Shit." He muttered. He must have taken a wrong turn..Or something, because he had no idea where he was.
"This sucks." He mumbled and he started walking again. He'd wanted to get out anyway. He could just walk around for a while instead of going straight home and brooding in his room. At least it was a nice day out. Haru glanced to the side for a moment, hearing something in the distance.
It sounded like dogs barking...
Curiosity won in the end as he walked in the direction of the sounds. Haru looked around curiously as he walked. Somehow he'd ended up in some wierd park he'd never seen before in his life.
He just hoped he wasn't so lost that he wouldn't be able to find his way back tonight..
When he finally reached the spot the barking was coming from, he saw about 3 dogs crowded around the base of a tree. Obviously trying to get to whatever it was that was up there. Haru glared at the dogs. He found himself thinking Yuki being a dog would make more sense then him being a rat. Snapping at the bit at the smallest thing.
"Get out of here you mutts." Haru scolded, nudging one of the dogs with his foot. The dogs quickly turned and ran with their tails between their legs.
Satisfied, Haru turned to see what they were after.
'A cat.' He thought. But the cat didn't move once the dogs were gone. 'Is it hurt?' He wondered, slightly alarmed.
He pulled himself up on one of the lower branches so he could get a closer look at the feline. It was just sleeping. It must've been up there for quite a while.
Haru reached out and touched the feline, noticing how dishevelled and covered in dirt it was. But, as soon as his hand came in contact with the dozing neko it jumped up, it's hair standing on end.
"WHAT THE HELL! DONT SNEAK UP ON PEOPLE LIKE THAT!" The cat screeched.
Haru blanched at the loud outburst.
"Kyo..?" He asked incredulously. The cat studied him for a minute then relaxed, realizing he wasn't in any immediate danger. Suddenly he wasn't as poofy, and he sat back on his haunches.
"Uh. What's up? I couldn't even tell it was you." He stated, picking up the cat so they could get out of the tree. Fortunately for the usually tan skinned redhead, he wasn't just any good sumaritan that passed by. If he was, he'd be in a bind to figure out a way to explain why a cat was screaming at the top of his lungs like it were a human.
Kyo snorted, or tried to at least, it was hard for cats to snort.
"Is this your hobby? Going around saving poor helpless cats that are stuck in trees?" He asked sarcastically, allowing himself to be picked up. Haru gave him an amused half-grin and shook his head, the smile fading quickly.
"Nope, actually it was by luck that I showed up here." He was actually a little relieved to find some conversation. "What happened anyway?" He asked as he took a seat on a nearby bench with the little cat beside him.
"I was just laying out, since it was a nice day." He stated stubbornly. "But then those damn dogs suddenly showed up." He explained. Haru arched a brow as he comtemplated the cats story.
"I see, but that doesn't explain why you transformed." He said thoughtfully. Kyo was silent for a moment, as if he were deciding if he was going to answer or not.
"I don't wanna talk about it." He muttered embarassedly. "Dogs suck." Maybe it was the whole being cursed with the spirit of the cat thing. If cat's could blush he'd probably be as red as a tomato. Haru chuckled at the nekos admittance.
"What's so damn funny?" Kyo growled, batting the cows hand with his paws in a vague attempt to act intimidating.
"Nothing, nothing. It's just kind of ironic that's all. The great Kyo, afraid of a puppy?" ." He stated. "I wonder what Shigure would say?" He teased.
Ignoring the cow's statement, Kyo glared at him in contempt. "Don't you dare tell that stupid pervert about anything you saw here today, you got that? Besides, I could kick that wimpy dogs ass even in my cat form."
Well, that was partly true.
The hard decision was, which would be more amusing. "Your secret is safe with me." He finally said, eyes gray eyes were unreadable, and from what he could read of the orange cats face, he wasn't very convinced.
But then again, who can tell what a cat is thinking?
"You're dead if you spill." He warned.
Somehow it wasn't very convincing coming from a cat that looked like he'd been rolled through mud. Haru sighed and scratched the neko behind the ears. The small cat shook his head, as if he'd gotten water in his ears. Kyo was never the cuddly type, feline or not.
"I know." Haru replied boredly.
The ox's demeanor seemed to suddenly change. Kind of like the energy had just left him with the wind.
The neko watched as Haru leaned back on the bench, tilting his head to look up at the sky. He could even say that he liked being in the white haired teens presence when the other wasn't nagging him for a fight or anything else stupid.
In a way, it was comforting. But he'd never actually seen Haru depressed before, if this is what this was. The last time he was sad...He went Black and tore one of the class rooms at school to shreds...
"Whatever is bothering you, don't sweat it." He stated, hoping to give the cow a little bit of assurance, though the awkwardness kind of hung in the air. Haru snorted, giving the cat a smirk.
'You knew it well, didn't you? That it would end up like this. And yet you still dared to try. You made me do this!'
"You think so?" He asked skeptically, closing his eyes.
"Of course I don't, stupid!" He snapped, glaring as hard as a cat can glare. He wasn't a damn mind reader! Judging by the others expression, he didn't seem very offended by it.
"I guess I really am just the stupid cow, huh? I wonder if I'll always be walking around with that rat on my head." His lips tilted up slightly, but there was something about the small smile on his lips that was anything but happy.
Damn, had he just made it worse? He took a small step closer, his slitted eyes on his cousin. He'd been about to say something when Haru pushed himself up. With him being in cat form, Haru seemed to loom over him even more-so than normal.
"I'll go find your clothes, you'll probably change back soon." He stated, and as if he already knew what was next, he said: "I can do it myself, so just stay here and try not to attract too much attention." and with that, he turned and walked in the general direction where he had been in the tree.
Kyo watched as the cow walked away and disappeared behind the shrubbery.
He hadn't known what to say. Well, he was the last person someone would go to for words of encouragement or whatever.
If you wanted a good ass kicking, or an insult to get you fired up.. He was your man.
He knew Haru well enough that his blankness and placid attitude was normal. But, just now it was like he'd been shown a new side of Haru he'd never seen before, a sad and complicated side that hadn't existed until now.
Which could possibly be worrisome.
And, like Haru had predicted, he transformed back a few minutes later, just as Haru returned with his clothes. He was covered in dirt, but he hadn't seemed to care as he put his clothes back on. He could just take a shower when he got home.
Haru had had the decency to turn his back, his arms crossed over his chest as if he were guarding his nakedness from onlookers.
But there was no one around.
When he was done, the younger of the two glanced at him. Was he supposed to thank him, or something?
"Well. I gotta get home. See you." Haru stated, not bothering to offer the dirty redhead a smile and turned to walk away, waving casually as he did.
He let his arms fall limply as his sides as he walked. A strong grip on his wrist both surprised and stopped him in his tracks.
"Uh.." Kyo looked like he didn't even know what he was doing when the cow glanced back at him questioningly.
"The main house is that way." He pointed in the direction that the other wasn't going. He didn't let go right away, and Haru just continued to stare at him, which seemed to make him more and more uncomfortable.
"And cheer up or something, just being around you is depressing." He grouched, letting go of the others pale wrist and scratching at his red hair. He didn't make eye contact.
"Heh.. I'm trying." Haru replied, giving the other a small tilt of his lips even though Kyo was blatantly not looking.
The older teen was acting annoyed, but he knew what the gesture had really meant. The cat was just rash and it was basically impossible for him to say something polite without following it up with a glare or an insult. But they were so half-hearted that it was almost touching.
Kyo turned to scowl at him. "If you need to bitch a little, that's fine, ya know?" He muttered and fidgetted. His brows furrowed a little as if he were thinking about something, then he met Haru's eyes again.
"So if you need to, you can just come to me, okay?" He practically hollered it. Was he offering a shoulder, or what?
He was obviously a little uncomfortable and probably more embarassed than anything. Damn, the only person he stuck himself out for was Tohru up until now.
But there had been something about the other that he couldn't just leave alone as it was.
The cows expression seemed to soften just a bit, almost unnoticeably. He felt the corners of his mouth tug upward a bit at the thought, though it felt a little strained. This feeling, it was.. Refreshing. He almost felt like some of the weight had been lifted from his shoulders, though something still lingered threateningly.
He'd lost something important, after all, and it had left a big empty spot in it's wake.
'You knew it well, didn't you? That it would end up like this'
'I didn't have a choice, it's your fault this happened. Because you dared to say you liked her.'
'I don't need you anymore. I'm tired of you.'
He realized that he didn't give Kyo the recognition he deserved in his position. He got his fair share of mental abuse, being born into a role that had him labelled as a monster and shunned.
But Kyo seemed to take it in stride, and it was an underlying strength that he almost wished he possessed from the beginning.
The strength to tough it out on his own.
Then there would be no need for this pain in his chest. The cold feeling of suddenly being alone.
Depsite his short temper and lack of patience, he knew his cousin was a good person and cared for those around him in his own way. He had his pride, and wasn't willing to give up things so easily, unlike him. He had his goals, and his sense of right and wrongs.
"Thanks." He murmured, studying the scowling neko for a moment before giving a shrug mostly to himself and pushing his hands into the pockets of his pants for the umpteenth time that day.
He began to turn and paused midway, his eyes lingering on the tanned teenager for a few heartbeats. They seemed almost insightful. "Don't ever change the way you are, alright?" He said before turning and heading the the direction Kyo had pointed him in and leaving the baffled redhead behind.
Kyo walked into the house after the trek home without a noise and walked upstairs, only to find it empty. He went back downstairs and headed to the kitchen, where he saw Tohru cooking an early dinner and Yuki standing by the counter.
"Hi Kyo-kun, how has your day been so far?" Tohru asked happily, as Yuki glanced up. He didn't have to say anything out loud, his expression was enough.
"Look what the cat dragged in." Displeasure was the understatement of that tone.
"What happened Kyo-kun?" It was Tohru asking, obviously alarmed at his appearance. But since when was it a big surprise to see him covered in dirt, or something?
Something about the distaste on Yuki's face just sat wrong with him. Ignoring the girl, Kyo stalked over to the rat, who didn't seem the least bit worried, and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and proceeded to slam his fist into the side of the rats face.
He was actually still for a few surprised seconds because he hadn't thought he'd manage to hit him. The slight throb in his hand said otherwise.
Yuki stumbled a little when he was abruptly let go, and gave the cat a shocked and angry glare. "What the hell was that for? Punching me all of the sudden!" He demanded. Kyo turned and headed out of the kitchen, rubbing his knuckles with his other hand.
"That's for being such a bastard." He said, just assuming that some part of this was the assholes fault. He headed upstairs so he could look at the clouds from the roof, but one glance at himself reminded him of how grimy he was. Shower first, and then the roof.
Yuki just watched as he left, reaching up to rub his now bruising cheek with his hand.
That was the second time he got called a bastard today..
TBC.