The sound of rain. Soft and lulling. I found myself pulled toward the sound despite Watari's request that I stay in bed. The blanket that had been wrapped around me fell around my feet as I stepped toward the window. I pulled back the curtains revealing a large pane of glass. Rain hit the window, distorting my reflection. My own image decomposing under the force of the falling droplets. I pressed my forehead against the cool glass, shivering at the contact. It felt good on my warm, far too warm, skin. My breath fogged up the glass completely eradicating any chance of looking through the window, past my own image, and to the small church I could see from the window.
It made me curious. Curious if I could hear the bells over the pounding rain. Curious if the sound would eradicate the deep quivering ache the sickness left within me. If the rain would quench my dry throat and the sheen of sweat that covered my emaciated body.
Then I was moving the sheet of glass, and the wind was creeping into the room. Caressing me, tempting me into the storm. I required little convincing. I stepped outside, the grass bending backwards under my bare feet. Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought faintly of shoes and of Watari's request I stay inside. The thought died as quickly as it flickered to life.
I moved away from the window, farther into the rain, a small sigh escaping me as droplets begin to soak into my clothes. Then I started to walk. Rain fell drenching me, my clothes began to sag, the water weighing them down, but I couldn't feel the weight. Just the rain. My hair drooped downward into my eyes but I ignored it, continuing my trek.
And then I was lying down on the grass, my head tilted up to the sky, watching the rain spiral down before finally hitting the earth. My lips parted, another sigh escaping. I was going to float away. The tendrils attached to the ground, that held me bound were weakening.
And then I heard the keening of the bells. The sharp keening that forced me to put my hands over my ears to block out the sound. It shattered the illusion of peace in the storm.
I began to shiver, my body convulsing. I couldn't move. I panted and I began to wonder as panic began to take over, if I would die. If sickness would overcome me, surrounded by the ringing of bells.
And then I was standing. My head spun and I tilted dangerously, only to be righted again, a voice cooing in my ear. Instinctively I leaned toward the voice. I was moving, I recognized with dull surprise. Grass changed to carpet and the pounding of rain was quieted, eventually returning to the soft lullaby of before.
I was standing under my own power I realized. In my room. But someone was with me. Someone who led me back and shut the window. I started shaking. More comforting words were spoken along with a comforting touch running along my back.
There was a tugging on my shirt and my arms went up automatically, wanting it to be removed from my slick skin. More murmurs and touches, stroking my wet skin. A tug on my jeans which went down without resistance. Fingers running along my legs. A hand guiding me to the bed.
I collapsed into the warmth, my shivering becoming more pronounced. A blanket wrapped around my frail shoulders. A weight next to me. A warm weight. I moved towards it in an attempt to kill the chills wracking my frame. The person let out a purr, making no move to resist, instead pulling me closer. Warm.
He was male. I recognized that from the body shape. He was in the same condition as me, dressed only in his boxers. His skin just as wet, though the rain hadn't robbed him of his body heat.
Fingers ran through my hair, nonsense words whispered in my ear. A mix of nursery rhymes and words that meant nothing, all to the tune of what I presumed was a lullaby. A sigh escaped me as I melted in his embrace. He laughed softly, his chest moving up and down.
His fingers traced patterns on my skin, making me sigh. Warmth on my neck, the feeling of breath ghosting over it. I stretched automatically, allowing better access. Another low laugh. It occurred to me slowly that it was his lips on my neck, but felt no complaint, only the urge to let him continue.
His lips moved to mine, pressing gently. Coaxing the response he wanted. I kissed back clumsily, the feeling of disorientation taking over. The pressure increased, and I responded trying to match the fervor the mouth against mine exerted.
I began to wonder if was dreaming, if that would explain the willingness of the kiss on both of our parts. I was ill and undesirable. I was also guarded, shying away from contact. But neither seemed to matter as he slipped his tongue past my teeth bringing out more shivers, but of pleasure rather than cold.
He stroked my stomach, murmuring into my mouth. His hand went lower, skimming the top of my boxers and I began to shake even more when the hand dipped below the waist line…inside. My eyes flew open, my breathing increased as I focused on him.
"B-Backup," I groaned. Logic returned. I was older than him by years. Wrong. This was wrong. "Backup. Stop. S-stop." My words were strangled, my eyelids fluttering from the pressure of his hand.
"Sh…Lawli. Let me make you feel good," he murmured. My eyelids shut at his soothing tone, my hips rising to meet his hand. "Mmm, beautiful Lawli." A shudder ran through my body and he pulled back his hand.
I panted, my eyes opening once more to see him licking his hand. I stared at my copy, my backup, in fascination. He smiled, the only thing that discerned us from each other, and pressed his lips to mine again, his tongue swirling in my mouth.
I understood what was happening when I felt the intrusion, along with the intense kisses meant to distract me. I understood and found no reason to prevent it. I kissed back, the only consent I could give. Besides it mattered little, B would take what he wanted anyway.
He tugged off my boxers, adding more fingers, preparing me. I was careful to stay relaxed. Though that didn't seem to matter. B was making me melt. I watched as B slipped off his own boxers and positioned himself, pushing inside.
It didn't hurt. Rain, sickness, or preparation numbed me to any pain. I gasped, my back arching to meet with B who let out a low groan. "Lawliet."
My name fell from his lips easily. I felt no concern at him knowing my name. Years of only whispering it to myself behind closed doors was over. He knew my name. And I loved it.
I whimpered as he moved and he groaned again, biting my shoulder to silence his own outbursts. But I could still feel his lips mumbling my name into his shoulder. His hand moved between us again and I cried out from the sensation.
His lips came down on mine, and we swallowed each other's cries. Our names intermingled.
My hips came up for a final time, and B followed me over soon after. He pulled away and cradled me in his arms, whispering sweet nothings.
I trembled in his arms, fatigue pulling at my frayed ends of consciousness. I fell asleep to the sound of his sing song voice in my ear.
I awoke the next morning alone, fully dressed with no evidence I'd ever even left my room. A fever dream that had preyed upon me in my weakened state.
Watari came in to inform me that B was now ill.
But of course, that was only a coincidence.
Author's Note
First yaoi-shot of any kind. I was threatened into posting it. Don't expect anything like it for a long time.