He Cares!
"He cares, he actually cares about me! He doesn't mind taking a punch at me, but if anyone else tried to hit me. He'd kill them. And you know why? He loves me!"
Like many nights before, Joker kicked Harley out. It had been the same shtick as each night. If it was for talking or singing to loud, messing up his papers, or just being too happy, he'd kick her out flat on her ass. But tonight, Harley attempted to get a scrap of a affection from her green haired angel, and he slapped her. Then she started wailing, and oh god how he hates her whining.
"Look Harley, if your going to cry, do it outside!" Joker yelled as he pushed her off him on the floor of their bed room. "But Puddin' all I want is…" Harley was cut off before she could even get her words out. "Jezzez Harley! Get out! Come back when your less aggravating!" He kicked her. She silently pulled on a large pink sweater that fell off the shoulder. She managed to fix her pigtails. She shoved some belongings into a bag with a smiley face on it. She went to the kitchen and found the jar of emergency money and took every last penny. She smuggled it into her bag and walked out looking like an eighties, "Flashdance" wannabe.
It was freezing. Normally she'd just wait it out on the stoop, but she had it tonight. She just couldn't keep her Puddin' happy. She whined to herself "Face it Harley girl! You're a failure of a Hench wench! You can't even be a psycho right! Stupid stupid stupid!" She complained.
As you could imagine Gotham isn't the safest of cities, especially for a girl walking alone at night. She wasn't sure where she was going, she just wanted to make sure she'd be out of her angels hair. She heard a crash and then looked up and saw that dreaded bat signal. She hastily sped down an alley, knowing that the Bat would defiantly recognize her. "Crap! That was close!" She muttered to herself. "Alright give us your money!" A voice said.
She turned to see two big heavy thugs, knives in hand, ready to steal. "Back off! Creeps!" She said firming her stance. "Whoa! Hey Blondie! Nice tits!" One said. She snarled at them "Don't talk to me like that you pervert!" She said lifting her leg kicking him across the face. He snapped right back. Harley backed up, they were stronger than she expected. "Damn, nice ass too. Maybe you should be a little less fresh, you bitch!" The other said raising his knife. The other drew closer to her. "Yeah, we might have to take more than your money if your keep this up!" Harley backed up against the wall and pulled out her mace. She pulled the trigger, but to no avail. Empty.
Joker woke. "Alright Harley, get in here. I'll let you sleep here at least. But no whining alright?" He stopped shocked at the silence. "Harley? Harley? HARLEY!" He said gaining volume with each time. "Jesus Christ Harley! Your making me regret this!" He said pulling on his clothes. He surveyed the house to find no trace of her. "Where the hell is the little brat!" He said pulling his hair. "Wait, her bag is missing!" He had a sudden epiphany. "Dammit Harley!" He said seeing the broken money jar. "Your gonna get it, the crazy broad!" he said walking out of the house. He stomped off intent to find his little wench.
"Ha! Pretty funny aint it, Lou?" The one said grabbing her wrist. Harley struggled, he was stronger than he looked. "You wouldn't know funny was if it bit your ass! And judging by this angle yours is pretty big!" She giggled at her own joke. "Little smart ass! Your gonna get it!" He said punching her square in the mouth. Harley threw up her hands clawing and grabbing at anything she could feel. "Huh, a comedian? This is gonna be a real riot huh!" The other said pulling his knife to her face. They pushed her to the ground and surveyed her body further. "It would be a shame to just take her money right?" The one thug said. "Couldn't agree with you more!" The said. Harley's face was struck with panic as she flailed her legs to get the two off her.
"Harley! You realize there's no going easy on you now!" Joker said stomping through the streets checking every alley. He than heard a scream . "Get offa me!" He knew it was his little clown princess. He fumed as he stomped further. "Oh ho, Harls, keep screaming! You'll be doin' plenty later!" He came to the alley and saw the shocking sight.
"Alright you little bitch, your gonna take it, and were gonna steal your money. Just for being such a smart ass! Who's laughing now?" The one said pinning her down by her wrists. "Screw you! Get off me!" She said kicking and twisting. "Shut up you fucking slut!" They said smacking her senseless then they began to take her clothes off. They fumbled with their zippers as Harley began to whimper beneath them.
"You see boys, you've got something wrong there." The Joker walked closer to the scene. "I always get the last laugh!" He teased in their ears. "Great, who the fuck is this clown?" The one said covering Harley's mouth. "No man! That's the Joker!" The other said getting nervous. "Ding ding ding! Correct!" He said as he kicked him against the wall. He jumped to his feet and pulled his knife. He charged at Joker, but he simply moved to the side allowing him to run himself into the wall. "NOW WHO'S laughing?" He chuckled. Then he released his full on laugh.
The other thug stood up holding Harley in a chokehold. "Stop moving whore!" He said punching her in the face. Seeing another man hit his girl like that made him snarl. "One more step and I'll grab your girlfriend!" He said preparing his hand around Harley's womanly attributes. She whined a bit. "Ughh, Harley, can't you just grin and bear it for a moment!" He spat at her. She quickly complied. He had strut forward. "Alright, your fault!" The thug said as he groped Harley violently. She couldn't hold her breath and she began to whine more and cry.
"Now seriously Harls, no need to be a baby! Now where did I put that?" He said coldly, then he fumbled through his pockets. "Ahh there we go! Ok now Harley hold your breath!" He said whipping out an aerosol can with a smiley face on it. He pressed the leaver releasing the mist. The guy tightened on Harley at first the he fell into chaotic laughter. He released Harley and she fell to her knees, shaking. Joker walked right past her and took the knife from the thugs hand. "Only I can hit Harley." he said quietly to himself, slicing the thugs neck.
He smeared the blood on his finger and walked over to the shaken Harley. He painted a smile across her face. "Now, the next time you pull something like this, I'll smack you to kingdom come. Got it Harley baby?" He said pinching her cheek. "Got it Mistah Jay! Never ever!" She said jumping up throwing her arms about his neck kissing his cheek. He pushed her off. "And another thing, my pet, no one hit's Harley BUT ME!"
"Come on Harley, let's not dawdle." He said walking off. Harley stood but then fell, her ankle giving out. She let out a groan of pain. "Harley? Can you walk?" He asked rushing to her. "Yeah, yeah, Puddin, I can walk!" She said taking one step and falling on her already beat up face. She silently took the pain. All then, Joker picked her up and held her in his arms like a baby. She contained her giddy feelings as the walked home.
"Oh Mistah Jay! You're the greatest." Harley squealed embracing his neck. "Ohh, don't think your off the hook yet, Pooh!" He said coldly trying to break her spirit. "I can feel my ass throbbing already…" She dejected. "Hey, stop whining! I'm gonna take it easy on you, being those naughty thugs roughed you up enough for one night. Alright Harley?" He said being almost sweet. He face lit up. "Are you still gonna use the handcuffs?" She asked almost shyly. He leered down at her with his menacing eyes. "What do you think?" He said like she should obviously know the answer. "GOOD!" She said as she wrestled him to the pavement smothering him in kisses.
"Well looks like someone can walk!" He said pushing her off. She gulped "Oh, look-it that!" she said in a scared tone. "Than you'd better run home or the Bat's gonna get ya!" He said playfully. He squeezed Harley's bottom teasingly. "Oh no! Not that stupid Bat!" She squealed. He chased her home patting her bottom and making little mischievous remarks.