Hey! This is just going to be a oneshot based off of something I read in the Girl Meets World fandom, but I'm gonna change it a bit to suit it to the best couple ever, Puckabrina! I'm feeling like really, really happy at the moment for no apparent reason, but most likely because its Easter break and I get to have waffles later! Yay! The whole world is just such an amazing place. I mean, we have all the wildlife, all the people, all the amazing stuff that is here, and WAFFLES! Okay, yeah I'm slightly hyper, but I haven't even had any sugar so I'm not sure why. One of my friends says that you can get hyper off of happiness, so I'm just going to go with that theory for now.
The story…
Reasons Why
Hi! If you are reading this you will probably have already moved in with Robin Goodfellow, and I am too late to save you, but there is a slight chance that you may just be looking around the flat and have happened upon this piece of paper. If you are Robin, put the paper down and go watch TV or something, but otherwise, please keep reading. Most of the ones on this list will apply to you, but some only apply to me.
It could save you from being stuck with the imbecile for upwards of three years, a fate which I have discovered is worse than burning in hell. This is a list of the Good and Bad of living with Robin Goodfellow, as well as some survival tips that came in handy. If you have moved in with him, and he does anything really stupid, just call me and I will be very happy to come and sort him out. (P.S. Watch out for any falling slime buckets as you open the doors,)
Reasons why living with him is BAD
1. He is an imbecile.
2. He is everywhere. Literally everywhere. You can go on a first date with a guy and he'll appear in the next booth, you can go on a cinema trip with friends and he'll have a seat next to you, you can go to your en suite bathroom in the middle of the night, and guess who's there? Robin, trying on your favourite lipstick.
3. When you're on your period, he will throw things at you and gets you really angry because he "enjoys the adrenaline rush" and "loves the thrill of being an endangered species". Avoid him at all times during your time of the month.
4. He smells. Like really insanely badly when he doesn't wash. And if you go to the toilet after him, you will be knocked unconscious by the stink.
5. You will grow to hate him.
6. The pranks. If you live with him, the pranks will be there every single day of your life. I'm talking the full works; Clingfilm in the toilet, stink bombs under your bed, smoke bombs in the kitchen, even paint buckets balanced on door frames. There is no escaping them.
7. He always takes the TV remote whilst you're in the middle of watching something, and changes the channel to some sport thing, even when he doesn't want to watch it, he just wants to piss you off.
8. When your family comes around, he is an absolute dickhead and pretends like he hates you.
9. Sometimes you actually believe that he does hate you.
10. He is very capable of making you cry.
11. He will never show properly that he cares about you.
12. He made you cry on the day that he returned from his two year trip around the world with Uncle Jake, by insulting you and the banner and cake you made for their return.
13. He will probably leave at some point, and you will miss him, like it or not.
14. You will end up really liking him.
15. He will end up really liking someone else.
Reasons why living with him is GOOD
1. He smells heavenly when you can actually get him to take a shower. Like some kind of pine forest mixed with mint. And warmth. If that can be a smell.
2. He's Robin Goodfellow.
3. You will (not) end up hating him.
4. The pranks. Because although they are really horrible and pointless, it can be his only way of showing that, yes, he does care about you.
5. When he can see that you're going to start crying, he'll get really flustered and tries to get you to stop and will always pretend it's because you crying annoys him, when you know it's because he's worried for you.
6. The first Saturday of every month, he'll make you watch all The Lord of The Rings series together in one night and he'll make you hot chocolate and you'll wake up at about 5 o'clock in the morning snuggling with him.
7. When he knows that you're on your period, he'll go to the store and buy you chocolate ice cream, and he'll make you hot water bottles and give you paracetamol so you won't feel so bad.
8. Even though he pretends to hate you, when the rest of your family has gone, he can actually be quite sweet, and do some really thoughtful things.
9. You'll cry if he leaves, because you want him to stay.
10. He'll help calm you down if you are stressed about exams or anything.
11. He'll put up with it if you take to blasting Eminem loudly throughout the apartment when you're angry at him, (especially Stan and Rap God)
12. He gets really excited when it's your birthday and makes you a cake and buys you loads of presents because he has way too much cash to know what to do with.
13. You'll wind up falling in love with him.
Hints and Tips on How to Survive
- Lock up your shampoo and conditioner
- Lock up your makeup
- Lock up any embarrassing photos from when you were little
- Lock your door at night
- Lock up your heart
- Don't let him bring any girls home; he will shove it in your face that you are single
-Don't bring any boys home, he will shoo them off
- Don't label the food yours and his; he will eat all of it anyway
- On a related note, lock up your food
- Do not, whatever you do, leave any pads or tampons out in your bedroom; he will quiz you relentlessly for three hours about the female body
- Don't eat bananas, sausages, or any similarly shaped foods (he still has the mind of an nine year old, even though he may be nineteen)
- Don't talk to him when he has had his parents around
- Don't insult him when his parents are around
- Compliment him when his parents are around
- Take care of him when he's sick, and he will take care of you when you're sick
-Trust him, even if you don't want to
- Pretend like you hate him, or you will fall in love with him sooner
So there we go. That's all I have to say about living with Robin Goodfellow (call him Puck and it'll make him really paranoid) I hope you use this information wisely to avoid him and any humiliation you may suffer by sharing this apartment with him. If this is Robin, and you have read the whole way through, I will find out and I will personally make sure you are dead.
Good luck,
Sabrina xxx
End! Hope you enjoyed my oneshot! Please favourite and review if you liked it! I know that this was very similar to 'To Lucas Friar's Prospective Female Roommate' by tiramisuspice, and any direct copying-ness was not intended, but yeah, constructive criticism and any reviews are welcome! I love everyone in the whole world (except ISIS, Donald Trump etc…), and I want everyone to be happy! I just ate an ice cream with chocolate on it! YAY! Sorry if I seem a bit loopy. Meh.
Loveeeeeeee,
Unicorns xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
