The Yu Yu Hakusho Musical

by Vicki1

Yusuke and his friends are faced with their most deadly adversary of all; a musical demon! Now, the YYH crew are forced to reveal their true feelings to a catchy beat! Join the YYH cast as they sing their hearts out to the songs from the BtVS musical!

1. I'll Never Tell

To be honest, I decided to do this after reading another YYH fanfic that used the songs from the Buffy musical "Once More, With Feeling." Since it turned out to be disappointing, I decided to give myself a go at it and see what I come up with. Well, this is it (or the first chapter, in any event). Firstly, I should note that while using the songs, I am not simply going to take the YYH characters and stick them into the Season 6 Buffy episode. While there might be a similar plot with a musical demon, the songs are rearranged in the order they appear (for instance, Chapter 1 begins the Musical with "I'll Never Tell" as opposed to "Going through the Motions"). More importantly, often times I had to change or alter the lyrics to the song at least a little bit (sometimes quite a lot), because, otherwise, I think it would be impossible to make this fanfic make a shred of sense. Admittedly, this is primarily a parody, though, so don't take it too seriously. It's supposed to be funny, I hope! Anyway, enjoy and thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own either Yu Yu Hakusho or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

So you can read this more simply, I put any words that are sung in italics. Also, while during parts of the song, I did insert prose narration, most of the song I kept in script form because I felt it would become a bit repetitive and obnoxious if I kept interuptting with who was singing what through a third person narration.

Chapter 1 - "I'll Never Tell"

Lord Koenma yawned as he walked down the long corridor that led to his office. He had been up early that morning for breakfast date – a kind of small, informal get-together with some very important demons from various dimensions. It had been a boring affair, so boring in fact, that he felt relieved to have returned to his palace to do some of the daily, monotonous office work he typically dreaded. Still in his teenage form, he reached the double doors to his office and pushed them open. As he did, music began to play somewhere in the background.
"Good morning, everyone," the prince of the Spirit World greeted his two employees, Botan, the bubby grim reaper, and Jorge, his ogre assistant.
"Why good morning, Lord Koenma!" Botan exclaimed cheerily, "How are you?"
"Fine, fine," Koenma replied, taking his seat behind his desk. Noticing the large stack of papers piled in front of him, he frowned and ordered, "Ogre, get me something to eat!"
"But Lord Koenma, sir," Jorge began, "I thought you just came back from breakfast – "
"Do not question me; five hundred spankings!"
"Yes sir..." Jorge complied miserably, scurrying off to quickly fetch him some food. A few moments later, Jorge returned and the three were busy at work, shuffling through piles and piles of paperwork.
Then, Koenma started singing:

"This is the Spirit World that I run like no other
Isn't it fine?
My claim to fame is the name of my father
Power is mine
But it's not an easy biz
The name I make depends on them"

He gestured to Botan and Jorge, outstretching his arms to both sides, since they stood on opposite sides of the room.

"The only trouble is...
I'll never tell"

Botan now followed suit, taking a few steps forward and singing:

"He is the prince, such a wonderful boss
He has such passion and grace"

Jorge nodded vigorously in agreement, and sung as well:

"He'll work through the night, set everything right
An ace,
What an ace!"

Lord Koenma smiled now and shook his head:
"I'll never let them go"

Jorge and Botan, who had made their way to Koenma's desk, where now positioned to the left and right of Koenma and sang chiperly:

"The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that--
No.
We'll never tell"

Then, together, they all sang:

"'cause there's
Nothing to tell"

The three then returned to their stations to busily continue on with their work, the music still lingering on...

Botan (on Koenma):
He's moody

Koenma (on Botan):
She's noisy

Jorge (on Koenma):
Say the word "work," and he freezes

Koenma (on Jorge):
He eats these Skeezy cheeses
That I can't describe

Botan (on Koenma):
I talk,
He breezes

Jorge (on Koenma):
He doesn't know
What please is

Koenma (on both):
Their brains have got diseases
From a chumash tribe

All:
The vibe gets kind of scary

Botan (on Koenma):
Like he thinks I'm ordinary

Jorge:
Like this job ain't temporary

Koenma (on Jorge):
Like his toes are kind of hairy

All:
But it's all very well
'Cause, God knows,
I'll never tell

Botan (on Koenma):
When things get rough
He just hides behind his daddy
Now look, he's getting huffy
'Cause he knows that I know

Jorge (on Koenma):
He clings,
He's needy
He's also really greedy
He never--

Koenma (on Jorge):
His eyes are beady

Jorge:
This is my verse,
Hello? He--

At this point, Botan suddenly broke into dance in front of Koenma's desk, exclaiming "Look at me! I'm dancin' crazy!" Jorge and Koenma exchanged quick glances before they joined her, as well, the three dancing with such ease, as if they had been choreographed. Botan and Koenma tangoed a bit. Jorge held a rose between his teeth as he strutted across the room. After a few moments, the dancing ceased and the three leaned against the front of Koenma's desk. Then, the singing presumed:

Koenma (on Botan)
You know
You're quite the reaper
(on Jorge)
And my loyal helper

Jorge and Botan (on Koenma)
You're the greatest ruling baby
And as a teen you're such a cutey
And your rule is uh--
very brash

With this verse done, the three again returned to their work stations, Botan and Jorge at opposite sides of the room and Koenma at his desk. But the singing did not stop there:

Koenma (on Jorge):
He's swell
(On Botan)
She's sweller

Botan (on Koenma):
He'll always be our employer

Jorge (on Koenma)
That's why I'll never
Tell him of my secret hatred
This story is stale
Something's stolen
And it's my fault
And every single day
I want to run and hide

Once more, the Botan and Jorge began to move closer together, toward Koenma's desk.

All:
I lied
I said it's easy
I've tried
But there are these thoughts I can't quell

Jorge (on Koenma):
Will he ever stop blaming me?

Koenma:
Will they see I do everything perfectly?

Botan:
Will our jobs become too stressful
If we fail to be successful?

Jorge:
When I get so worn from spankings
That I'm ready to start croaking

Koenma:
Am I crazy?

Botan:
Am I dreamin'?

Jorge (looking over at Koenma):
And I'm suppose to be
the demon?

All:
We could
Really raise the beam
In makin' the work place a hell
So, thank god,
I'll never tell
I swear
That I'll never tell

Botan:
My lips
Are sealed

Jorge:
I take the fifth

Koenma:
Nothing to see,
Move it along

All:
I'll never
Tell

They ended with arms outstretched and the music stopped. Then, there was an awkward period of silence. Abruptly, Koenma brought it to an end, snapping, "Botan, get Yusuke and the others! Ogre – five hundred more spankings and get me something else to eat!"
"Yes, sir!" both replied, as they were used to doing, and went off to complete their assignments while leaving a perturbed Lord Koenma sitting at his desk.