Title: Just Another Morning With My Coat Hanger

By: I'mAnIdiotButWhoCares

Genre: Humor/Parody

Category: The Mortal Instruments Series

A/N: I was bored out of my mind, it was my friend's birthday, I wrote this, forgot about it, recently found it in my documents, and so I decided to post it! Long story short, this is for one of my best friends!

Dedicated to: KRISTEN CHONG. Happy belated birthday, Kris!

~Just Another Morning With My Coat Hanger~

For once, Kristen thought that her birthday would be really boring. It was nothing to get worked up about, anyways. She had turned thirteen last year, so she was already in her teenage years. The next big birthday for her would be freedom to drive, and that was still another two years away!

Turning fourteen didn't seem too bad, though. She was about to go to high school, and that was a big step in her young childhood career. Not that she would ever admit that she was a child, of course. She was fourteen, therefore, she was no longer a child in her own eyes. A teenager, sure, but never a child. Never again!

Kristen had woken up that morning to the smell of pancakes and maple syrup, the new common smell. Since she lived in Canada, one would think she'd be big on maple syrup, but people who thought that were stupid. Stereotypes? Puh-lease! Kristen rolled her eyes at the thought. Maybe if some people actually lived in Canada first they wouldn't think that.

Brushing back her short, charcoal hair, Kristen silently made her way downstairs, expecting to find her parents, maybe even her brother, sitting there, waiting to tell her happy birthday.

Of course, life has it's twists...

Instead of walking into a kitchen wit breakfast on the table, she walked in on an all-out brawl! Weird creatures were lunging at older teenagers, as if they planned on killing or something. But the teens didn't look too innocent either. They had weapons. Weapons. Who in the world would barge into someone's house like that?

Thinking quickly, Kristen raced back upstairs to her room, grabbed her favorite metal coat hanger, and raced back down to the ground floor again.

Waving her coat hanger in the air threateningly, Kristen screamed, "If y'all don't get the hell out of my house, I'm gonna knock you out with my coat hanger!"

The noise and everything that had been going on came to a sudden halt. The teens glanced over at the strange youth before them, waving her coat hanger around like a maniac. One of the older teens, a blond, muscular boy, laughed a little, being the first to recover.

"A coat hanger?" he asked incredulously. "Are you serious?"

"Jace," the red-headed girl warned.

"Yes a freakin' coat hanger!" Kristen snapped, grabbing a shoe that was near her foot and throwing it at his head. Surprised by the sudden object coming his way, Jace had no time to dodge the useless attack as he was bonked on the head.

"What are you?" a dark-haired, blue eyed boy chorused. "Thirteen? What the hell?"

"WHAT THE HELL IS RIGHT!" Kristan roared. She then paused. "What. Did. You. Just. Call me?"

"Thirteen, short stack," Jace replied grumpily. "My friend Alec here just called you thirteen."

"I'M NOT THIRTEEN! I'M FOURTEEN TODAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" Kristen screamed. "AND I'M NOT SHORT!" She hit Alec on the head with her coat hanger, bending the slim metal.

"Geez, kid, calm down," Alec snapped, rubbing his head indignantly.

"Kris," Kristen snapped. "Call me Kris. It beats being called kid."

"Okay, Kris, well-"

"Excuse me!" the tall, dark haired girl snapped. "We have a bit of a problem here!" She gestured at the weird creatures.

The rest of her friends groaned. "Okay, Clary," Jace said, turning to the red-head. "You take Kris here upstairs until we finish up here."

Irritated about being forced to babysit a little kid, Clary only nodded slightly. "Come on," she muttered as the racket started up again. "You probably shouldn't see all this."

Glaring, Kris turned around and stomped back up the stairs. She heard something in the kitchen shatter, but she didn't care. She slammed the door to her room after grudgingly allowing the petite red head, Clary, in. She fell back on her bead, muffling her scream into a pillow.

"What the hell is going on?" she muttered as she sat up.

Clary shifted uncomfortably on the edge of the moody teenager's bed. "It's kind of hard to explain." She paused. "You know what? Just go back to bed. When you wake up, it'll probably be just a dream."

Grumbling, but heeding the older girl's advice, Kris fell into a blissful sleep.

When Kristen woke up again, there wasn't any more noise. Confused for about a second, the events from hours ago came back to here as if they were happening again. Were the teens still in her kitchen? Was the hot blond guy still fighting off the creatures? Was the red-head still watching over Kris while all the action went on?

Taking a quick sweep of the room, Kris noticed with great comfort that the small red headed girl was no longer there.

Silently, Kris crept down stairs, only to find her family there like nothing had happened.

"Happy birthday, Kristen!" her family chorused.

Kris sat down at the table uneasily, eating her breakfast in silence. The kitchen wasn't trashed like before, and everything seemed to be the same.

That's when she noticed her bent up coat hanger lying next to a shoe, a little piece of paper attached. When she was sure her family wasn't looking, she snatched her coat hanger, and then quickly unfolded the note.

Happy birthday, Kris! -Clary and Isabel

Whoo. Happy birthday, short stack. ~Jace and Alec

Grinning from ear to ear, Kris finished the rest of her breakfast, eager to encounter any more surprised over the rest of the day. The morning alone had made her birthday worth while. Now came the next twenty-four hours to deal with!

The day was going to be great!

Yeah, so, there. I don't care if no one likes it, it only matters what Kristen thinks now. I'm sorry I was kind of AWOL on your birthday, so here's my late present! I hope it's not to late for late gifts!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KRIS!

~I'mAnIdiotButWhoCares