DISCLAIMER: I do not own Waluigi, Wario, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Bowser Jr., nor anyone else that belongs to Nintendo or other trademarks. I do not own the Alice in Alice in Wonderland. I do not own any of the songs that will feature in this fanfiction. I do, however, own Alice the OC, May, Piper, and various other characters that I shall make up along the way. I am not profiting from this fanfiction, nor will I ever.
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Toad: the Mushroom Kingdom's main inhabitants. Usually blue, with white-and-red caps, but can come in other colors.
Toadette: grown female Toad, usually light colors.
Toadlet: child Toad, either gender, but usually reserved for females.
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Title: Knot's Kingdom: Alice in Wonderland
Summary: The Mushroom Kingdom's creatures and Bowser's troops are going missing near the Forest of Illusion. In that same forest, the Wario Bro's discover the body of a girl and are unwittingly caught up in a deadly game of subterfuge and backstabbing. WalOC, etc.
Rating: T for violence, gore, explicit language.
Warnings: Major or minor same-sex pairings.
Chapter 1:
Wet, Mangled Corpses
Waluigi heard it first: a soft pat pat pat sound.
"Oi, Wario, you hear that?"
Wario, Waluigi's older brother and treasure-hunter extraordinaire, grumbled something along the lines of Who the hell cares? and went back to walking through the dark, dense forest. Waluigi, however, stopped and looked around; it hadn't rained for a while, so why the dripping noise?
Thump, slap. Fleshy and unpleasant to Waluigi's elfin-like ears. He turned toward where he thought he heard the thump, pushing branches away from his thin body, and proceeded deeper into the Forest of Illusion.
"Hey, Waluigi, what gives?" No one answered, so Wario retraced Waluigi's steps and found Waluigi--and something else.
"Holy Star Crystals.." he breathed, and took an involuntary step backward from the body and the blood drenching the ground around it. Waluigi was kneeling near the soaking-wet body of the girl--for it was definitely a girl--who was either dead, or something like it. Wario made as if to pull Waluigi away.
"Ow!" he cried instead, rubbing his head where he had hit it. What had he hit it on? He looked up--Waluigi was still near the girl--and received a drop of water right smack on the tip of his large nose as a reward. The treasure-hunter swiped at it and continued scrutinizing the large thing above him.
Wario recognized what it was instantly: a warp pipe. But whereas most warp pipes were a dark green or a regular green, this one was a muddy brown, almost perfectly matching the water dripping from it. Inside the pipe he could hear the echoing of more water, and what sounded like the rushing of a large river. The pipe issued from a large, weather-worn boulder under the expanse of a large oak. Wario shivered; he hoped no Wigglers were hiding in that tree. When they got mad, they got mad, and all their friends got mad as hell, too.
"Wario. Wario! She's still alive!" Waluigi hefted up the girl as best as he could, mindful of not pushing her light blue dress up her legs and exposing her, and stumbled toward his older brother. Wario frowned, but did not object to the rescue. So what if they were bad guys? Doesn't mean they couldn't help someone who was obviously gonna die without their help.
"Where do we go, Wario?"
Wario paused for a minute, stroking his jagged moustache in thought. Finally, he was forced to decide on one of the many places where their faces were not welcome.
"We go, to the Mushroom Kingdom Castle."
"Are you sure, Big Bro? You know what may happen if we do." But still, Waluigi started walking in the direction of the Princess' Castle. Wario followed.
"I'm quite aware of the consequences, Wally--"
"Don't call me that!"
"--and it seems to me that's the only place that she can get good enough care not to.. oh I dunno.. die."
"Point taken," Waluigi muttered, letting his long legs take him ever closer to the edge of the Forest of Illusion.
It was a fairly easy walk, though a bit long. Waluigi had to stop and shift the girl around a few times. Wario did not complain about the breaks, which his little brother was grateful for, and instead gave Waluigi advice on how to best carry large, burdening objects.
"Of course you would know, Bro, about lifting heavy things, what with your fancy-shmancy way of looting treasure with a big brown sack," mumbled Waluigi tiredly after the fourth time Wario pointed out that he was slouching too far forward. Wario reddened.
"Well, yeah, but that's part of the tradition! Besides, if I went around stealing other people's coins, would I throw it in anything that might give it away that it was me?"
"Bro, you wear a bright yellow jumpsuit with a purple shirt and green, Look-At-Me-I'm-One-Of-Santa's-Helpers! shoes. You don't need anything else to give away that it's you." Up ahead, Waluigi could see the mosaic-paned window that depicted the Princess upon the tallest tower of the castle, and jumped for joy inwardly.
Wario grunted a very rude response which this author does not care to repeat, and ceased chatting.
The younger of the Wario Brothers balked at the edge of the bridge, not wanting to get into too much trouble--at least, not without causing some mayhem. Wario strode up to the middle of the bridge before realizing that his brother was not with him. He sighed dramatically and continued walking, calling out behind his shoulder, "Oh, come on Wally, do you want her to die or what?"
Waluigi jerked in realization, and quickly caught up to Wario. "I said don't call me that!" he muttered under his breath.
"You say somethin', Bro?"
"Uh. No."
"Mm."
A large gold knocker hung on the door, emblazoned with a mushroom head below a crystal-studded star. Wario's fingers itched with want, but Waluigi guessed what he was thinking and slapped his brother's hand.
"No. You are not stealing when we need their help."
Wario rolled his eyes--"Yes, mom."--and lifted the knocker up to let it fall. The boom! caught both Wario and Waluigi by surprise, making them jump back a few feet, but no one came immediately. A few seconds later, Waluigi slumped against the side of the entrance way, complaining, "Don't they answer the fu--"
"Evening, sirs," came a squeaky voice from below. Wario and Waluigi glanced downward to see a brown Toad servant dressed up nicely, bowing low in front of a hole in one of the doors.
"Er.. evening?" replied Wario awkwardly.
"And what would sirs care to ask for at this.. hour?" the Toad servant pointedly asked, bringing the author to realize that the time had not been stated.
"Oh crap, it's, like, eleven, isn't it?" Waluigi smacked his own forehead.
The Toad frowned. These two looked mighty familiar.. His eyes widened as he remembered them, but he did not dismiss them. His role as doorman was bound to him, and he was supposed to follow his role as such.
"We need to talk to Princess Peach," Wario stated grandly, making himself seem important. The Toad nodded.
"The Princess is up reading--I shall go fetch her. Before that, though, shall I take your hats, gloves, and wet, mangled corpses?"
Waluigi started. "Err.. That's what we need to talk to the Princess about--this girl needs medical attention, ASAP."
"Oh. Oh! OH! Yes yes, come in, do come in."
"Kinda redundant, ain't he?" Wario whispered to Waluigi as the Toad disappeared and the doors swung open to reveal the entrance hall. Waluigi nodded his agreement and hoisted the girl into a better position in his arms.