Remus absolutely and completely hates Sirius Black. He hates him for killing James and Lily, he hates him for seeming so trustworthy, but most of all he hates him for pretending to love Remus the whole time.

Remus should have known. He should have known Sirius was a traitor, after all, look at how easily he betrayed his parents, his family, everything he had been taught to believe until the age of eleven.

Look at how easily he betrayed Remus.

And look at how foolish Remus was, to think that Sirius Black would ever be anything but a traitor, anything but a selfish evil creature.

Then 1993 happened, and Sirius Black became the first man to ever break out of Azkaban. 1993 happened, and Remus Lupin became the first werewolf teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the first Dark creature to teach young minds Defense against that very topic.

And then 1994 happened, and Sirius was innocent, and Peter was alive, and a worse traitor than Sirius could ever have been. Then 1994 happened and all of Remus's old memories, old desires, old feelings surfaced up. And then he had to forgive Sirius, but twelve years of thinking a man is the worst traitor you'll ever encounter really changes a man's ideas about the love of his life. Twelve years and Remus guiltily felt as though he could never forgive Sirius again.

It killed him inside, it really did. It killed him to know that he would never be able to love Sirius like he once had, would never be able again to love Sirius like Sirius loved Remus.

And then 1996 happened, and Remus had never felt so conflicted in his life. Sirius was dead, which was obviously a Bad Thing. Sirius was his first friend, his best friend, his lover. But Sirius would never stop being, in Remus's mind at least, a traitor and a heartbreaker. Remus was almost relieved to have Sirius out of his life for good. Almost, because sometimes late at night he would feel sad, sad because he was the only true marauder left, and sad because deep down, he really did love Sirius.

But he was still almost glad to have Sirius dead. It was convenient, in a way. Convenient because now Remus no longer felt obligated to be in a relationship long gone moldy. Convenient because he no longer had to pretend Sirius still had his heart. And convenient because he could focus on something else, anything else.

Something else like Nymphadora Tonks.

Tonks was nice, and Tonks was brave, and Tonks was Definitely Not Sirius. It took a while for his innermost heart, the part of him that still fancied himself a first- or second-year, the part of him that believed Sirius would never not be good for him, the part of him that forgave sirius for The Prank all those years ago.

Then 1997 came and he was married to Nymphadora Tonks.

Then 1998 came and he was the father of Teddy Lupin. He had a family now, a real one, but somehow he still felt that it was missing one piece.

One obnoxious, self-centered, traitorous, wholly innocent Animagus-shaped piece.