Searching for a Cause

Author's Note: Hey guys! Not sure if any of you have checked out my other story "You're All I Ever Wanted", but if you haven't, s'all good! I'll be honest… I've lost my inspiration on that and moreover, whether I'll finish it or not is an unknown fact. Anyhow, though I do hold a special place in my heart for the Harry Potter series and J.K. Rowling's beautiful writing, I am absolutely in love with The Mortal Instruments series! I saw the movie in the summer, although I was a bit disappointed with how that turned out (feel free to PM me about your thoughts and opinions on that!). I've got some good ideas for this fanfic. I mapped everything out already and I'm more than excited to see how things will turn out. For this story, things start rolling after City of Glass. It's an AU so it doesn't follow the plotline of City of Fallen Angels. It will be a Jace/OC fanfic for the most part, but I can tell you that there will be some Sizzy and Malec. Without further ado (drum roll)… here's Chapter One!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Cassandra Clare's beautiful characters *cough* Magnus *cough*, or anything else that came from her brilliant mind.

Chapter 1

The Nightmare Continues

I bolted upright in my bed, my hair sticking to my forehead with beads of sweat. I roughly pushed the sheets off my body, suddenly feeling hot, even though I was in only a black pair of pants. The clock on my bedside table read 2:30 a.m. Another horrible nightmare, I thought to myself. Ever since returning to the Institute from Alicante, I've been having the same horrible dream night after night. Clary comes into my room, we do…stuff, and she suddenly ends up lying limp on the floor, a deep gash running across her throat, and a bloody knife in my hand.

Having these dreams, these nightmares about Clary, literally kills me. I know pain. I've faced it time and time again, risking my life to save the people who mean the world to me. But this…sometimes I feel as if slashing myself carelessly with a dagger would be less painful. A dictionary or a thesaurus would be completely useless to me if someone told me to describe how important Clary is to me. Saying she's my everything is an understatement. Everything that's happened within the past year, from the time I first met her outside Pandemonium to just recently when she brought me back to life by Lake Lyn, I've realized one thing: no matter how hard I'd try, I wouldn't be able to live without her.

I sighed as I fell backwards, the firm mattress cushioning my fall. I stared up at the ceiling, blinking every now and then. It was as if every blink represented another minute that passed. I looked at the clock again. 2:45 a.m. Groaning in frustration, I sat up again. It was pretty obvious that sleep was out of the question at this point. I had no clue who or what was causing these nightmares, but one thing was for certain. I had to make sure Clary stayed safe no matter what. If they were any indication as to what I might do to her in the future…God I couldn't live with myself afterward. I'd have to do everything I could to keep her safe, no matter what that entailed. For Clary.

I slowly opened my eyes and realized that it was already morning. Somehow, I was able to fall back asleep. My clock read 9:00 a.m. I sat up, grabbed some clean clothes from the closet, and headed into the bathroom to take a shower. My skin was still sticky with sweat. After showering and changing, I heard a knock at the door. Opening it, I was met with a pair of familiar blue eyes. Alec.

"I was wondering if you wanted to join me and Iz in a few minutes. We were planning on training a bit. You know, brush up on some skills. It has been a few weeks since Alicante. I'm afraid of getting out of shape." He was in his usual uniform: some black pants and a T-shirt with one too many holes in it. His arms were folded over his chest and he was rocking back and forth on his heels, as if already impatient.

"I just took a shower," I sighed. "Really Alec, I thought that your timing would've gotten better."

He rolled his eyes. "Jace, who cares. Take another shower after. It's not that big a deal."

I scoffed. "Not that big a deal? For all you know, my golden halo of sexiness could lose its angelic touch if I wash it too many times," I said motioning to my hair.

"Golden halo of sexiness? I understand angel blood runs through your veins and most, if not all, girls could attest to the fact that you are attractive, though you're not exactly my type, but a man's hair is not all that matters."

"Really? So, if I were to shave every glittery piece of hair off your boyfriend's head, you wouldn't care? At all?" I always knew Magnus was his weak spot.

He narrowed his eyes at me and only glared for a few seconds. "He's a warlock actually" was all I got before he turned around and stomped away, muttering something about Magnus' hair being perfect the way it is.

I chuckled and was about to close the door when I heard my name being called. "Jace!" I heard that the voice was female, one that belonged to my sister. It was Isabelle. She was down the hallway and walked toward me, her black hair down to her waist. She was wearing a typical "Isabelle" outfit: tight black pants, high-heeled boots that went up to her thigh, and a tight black tank top. The way her hips swayed with every step just seemed to enhance the look.

"Isabelle, please tell your brother he needs to stop getting so worked up every time I crack a joke about his little bromance with Magnus."

She snorted. "He may be my brother, but that doesn't change where his sexuality lies. You know how much they care about each other. And quite honestly, I think Magnus is a good influence on Alec. He seems more…out there," she said, motioning with her hands. "You know what it's like being in love. Look at you and Clary," she said looking down at the floor. I detected the hint of sadness in her voice.

I frowned. "Izzy, don't worry. You'll find someone. Remember, there's someone for everyone. Actually, that's a stupid mundane saying that I doubt has any truth to it. But still, you're badass Isabelle Lightwood! You'll find a boy who loves you, not just because he thinks you're great in bed."

"Okay, Jace, I appreciate this nice brother-sister talk, I really do. But now it's just creeping me out. More than walking in on Magnus doing things I didn't know were possible to Alec."

"Ew! Iz, what the hell is wrong with you? I'm getting these images in my head! And it's just…just…wrong!"

She started laughing. "Look, I didn't come here to talk about love and the many problems gay couples face in their relationship. I came here to ask if you wanted to train with me and Alec. It's been a while. I thought we could use the extra time to limber up again."

"Sorry Isabelle, but I was thinking we could go to Taki's later for dinner because I'm supposed to be hanging out with Clary today. I think Simon will be there. "

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll tell Alec. And Jace?"

"Yes?"

"Are you okay? I mean, you look like you've gotten no sleep these past few days. You haven't been eating much either." She looked me over and I knew she saw the dark circles under my eyes and my visibly smaller frame.

"I'm fine Izzy. Don't worry about me. Your eyes are probably just getting the better of you." I couldn't tell her about the nightmares. I couldn't tell anyone for that matter. I could deal with it on my own.

Isabelle seemed weary about my answer, her face holding a look of doubt. But she just shrugged and said, "Alright. Whatever you say. I'll see you later then." And with a smile, she walked off to go train with Alec.

Some things are just better left unsaid, I told myself. These nightmares had to stop someday. I didn't need help. Of course, if anybody—especially Clary—found out, I'd be fussed over like I carried some life-threatening disease. I couldn't risk it. Now that things were over with Valentine and it seemed like everything was going back to normal, I couldn't help but think that I'd just ruin it. Bothering people with my problems felt like a selfish thing to do, even for me. After all, everyone's been through hell and back trying to protect each other, Clary, and myself. And it's not like they don't have their own problems to worry about. Simon, though I'm not entirely sure if I like him or not—we simply just save each other's lives from time to time—is still dealing with living as a vampire. And not just any vampire, but a Daylighter. Vampires, werewolves, and other shadowhunters are probably on his ass every day for that. The Lightwoods are still trying to get over Max's death. Alec and Magnus have been having some pretty rocky moments in their relationship, too, what with the Clave being so against gay people. Jocelyn and Luke are trying to plan their wedding, but she's still a little shaken up by what happened with her son. I mean, with a psychopathic son like that, who wouldn't be. And Clary, having to deal with everything that's happened to her so far. Throwing my own difficulties in there would only make things worse. I'd just have to stick it out for now.

Alec, Isabelle, and I were in a booth at Taki's, waiting for Simon and Clary to join us. I began tapping my foot impatiently as Alec and Isabelle made idle conversation. What it was about, I had no clue. I was just waiting for her to show up.

At that exact moment, two people walked in. I recognized the red head of ringlets right away, and the pale brown-haired vampire beside her. She greeted me with a warm smile as they made their way towards us.

"Jace," she said almost out of breath as she gave me a light kiss on the cheek. When she pulled away, I noticed a tint of pink on her cheeks from the cold outside.

"Clary," I gave her a grin as I motioned for her to sit down next to me.

When she sat down, I looked up at Simon, who was standing awkwardly at the head of the table, as if waiting for us to greet him.

"Just because you're all vamped up now, doesn't mean your legs are broken," Isabelle joked. "Alec, move over, make some room for him."

Alec groaned but shifted over so that Simon could sit next to Isabelle. She smiled at him and they began talking while Alec amused himself with the salt and pepper shakers on the table. When I turned to look at Clary, she was frowning.

"You haven't been answering any of my calls. Or texts. The last time I saw you was a week ago and you barely said anything to me. It seems like even Alec or Isabelle want to spend more time with me than you. Maybe I'm being too pushy. But I don't know, I thought that when people were in relationships and said 'I love you' to each other, it meant that they wanted to see each other and talk to each other as much as possible." She paused and sighed before continuing. "I was surprised you even wanted to see me today."

It was my turn to frown. "Clary, I always want to see you-"

"It sure doesn't feel like it at the moment," she snapped. "I know you're ignoring me. Why, I have no clue."

"I'm not! Clary, you have to trust me-"

"Trust you? How can I trust you when you don't even want to speak to me?" Her anger was starting to make me nervous, so much that I had to look down at my hands. When I noticed she wasn't saying anything else, I looked back up and saw that her features were more relaxed and calm. "Jace," she said softly, placing her small hand on mine which was resting on my lap, "if there's something going on, you know you can tell me. You can tell me anything."

"Clary-" but before I could reply, Kaelie, the faerie waitress that always served us at Taki's, appeared at our table.

She smiled flirtatiously. "What can I get for you guys today?"

"I'll just have some blood, please and thanks." I had completely forgotten that Simon, Alec, and Isabelle were there, too. I was so focused on my conversation with Clary.

"I'm good with a coffee and some spaghetti," Alec deadpanned.

"I'm cool with coffee, as well, and maybe some sweet potato fries," Isabelle said cheerfully.

"Just a coffee. Black please," Clary said, a little coolly.

Kaelie then turned to me, her crystal blue eyes bore into mine as she batted her eyelashes. "And what can I get for you Jace?"

"Coffee, too, and some pancakes if you would." After writing down all our orders, she gave a quick wink and went off.

After Kaelie left, it was safe to say the atmosphere at our table was a horrible combination of quiet and awkward. Nobody would say anything, not even Simon who usually went off about one of his favourite geek movie series that always lasted a minimum of ten minutes. It was as if he, Alec, and Isabelle could sense the tension between me and Clary. An eternity later, Isabelle finally said something. Leave it to Izzy to always disturb the silence.

"So, how are things going with the wedding planning Clary? Are your mom and Luke managing okay?"

"Yeah things are good I guess," Clary responded, no real emotion in her voice. I could tell she was distracted, still thinking about our conversation earlier.

"That's good," Isabelle replied. It wasn't hard to tell that Clary wasn't even paying attention.

"Awkward silences are the worst," Alec suddenly said to no one in particular. Everyone turned to look at him, and after seeing the glares shot his way, sunk down into his black t-shirt which had more holes than I cared to count.

"Alec, just because it's an awkward silence doesn't mean you have to insert your own awkwardness to add to the already awkward moment," Isabelle chastised.

"That makes no sense my little Shadowhunter friend," Simon chuckled, but he instantly regretted that comment after seeing the daggers Isabelle threw his way.

Light bickering immediately ensued between the three across from Clary and I about hell knew what. I couldn't even look at Clary's breathtaking green eyes, knowing that I'd only feel guilt and shame about having to keep a secret from her. She knows everything about me, every painful detail about my past, and now I'm forced to keep something from her.

Before I can even contemplate another thought, Kaelie returns with our orders. This is probably the only time I was ecstatic to see the faerie waitress. She set them down carefully, and sending a wink my way, turned around and tended to another customer. We grabbed our food and drinks from the center of the table, and began slowly eating away. Well this dinner turned out to be just great. And as I looked around the table at Clary, Alec, Isabelle, and the vampire freak, they all seemed to be thinking the same thing.

"Okay Jace, out with it."

"Out with what Isabelle?" We were already back at the Institute and the way had been relatively quiet and uneventful. Until now.

"Tell us what's wrong! We've known you practically your whole life and we can tell when something isn't right!"

"There's nothing wrong, I swear! Come on Alec, help me out here."

"I hate to agree with my sister, but she's right. I mean you practically pushed Clary into her house when she insisted on coming back here to the Institute. And you hardly said a word over dinner. Let's be realistic here… Jace Lightwood on mute? It just doesn't happen. Something is clearly wrong."

"I never knew you had the potential to be deep," Isabelle said absentmindedly. I shook my head and chose not to comment.

"Whatever. You're both overthinking this whole thing! So what if I was a little quiet over dinner and who cares if for once, I didn't want Clary coming over! I just didn't get enough sleep last night, that's all."

"That seems to be a growing trend," Isabelle said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Isabelle…" I started but she cut me off.

"Whatever Jace. Do whatever you want. Just remember that whatever it is you're hiding, and don't protest because you and I both know there is something, you can't hide it forever. The truth will eventually come out." And with that, she turned on her heel and walked away, swatting me with some of her jet black mane in the process.

"Well I am telling you the truth!" I shouted down the hallway, her heels clicking and clacking in a rhythmic beat.

I turned back around to face Alec, only to find that he was making his way towards the door.

"And where do you think you're going? Sneaking off again, are we?"

"Were you expecting otherwise at this late hour?" he asked, completely emotionless.

"Yes well, your boyfriend should be considerate of the fact that it's extremely late in the evening. You never know what kind of evil lurks around the city during these hours. You should be staying here at home, Alec."

"In fact," he began, "I do know what kind of evil lies in this city at this time of day." He continued walking to the door, and before leaving, he turned back to look at me. "Besides, home is where the heart is." With that, he stepped into the night, firmly shutting the door behind him.

I rolled my eyes at two things. One, how insanely cliché what he said was. And two, how extremely annoying it was to witness the complicated relationship between a gay Shadowhunter and an even more gay warlock.

So I think it's safe to say that chapter one was quite uneventful, as most first chapters are. I can promise you that things will get more interesting later on. Just stick with it! Please leave a review…it'd make my day!