Surprise Me

By Gide Thomas

Disclaimer: I don't own nuthin'.

Dedication: This one's for Bam! :D Best Lady Boss ever! Merry Christmas!


Part One: Orange Box

"Surprise me," Akira spoke lazily as she lounged on one of the chairs in the lobby of their dormitory building. Sae, who was sitting on a couch parallel to her leaned back and groaned.

"You're a hard one to give a gift to, Akira." Her partner grumbled, and looked at her frowningly.

Akira smirked. "I know."

"I suppose I could just get you another set of clothes from that catalogue that you frequent online, but you just said you wanted a surprise." Sae smiled at the challenge. "I guess a surprise is what you'll get."

Akira shivered involuntarily from that eerie smile.

That had been seventy-eight hours earlier. Akira adjusted the white coat of the student council which she wore and looked at herself in the mirror critically. Satisfied, she went to open the door of her dormitory room and almost walked into Hayate who was standing outside, wearing a Santa costume and carrying a glaringly orange box of a rectangular shape.

"Merry Christmas," the pipsqueak spoke cheerily, the white fluff from her hat bobbing up and down most enthusiastically.

"Uh, right back at you, runt. What do you want?" Hayate offered the box to Akira, as if she was offering some holy relic. Akira accepted it with raised eyebrows. "You got me something?"

"Nope," Hayate quipped. She grinned. "You should go ahead and open it now."

"Ah, right." Akira grimaced at the sight of the spaghetti strap dress, almost dropping it. "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Hayate disappeared before her. A piece of paper was slapped against her forehead, making her walk a few steps back.

"That's a compulsion charm designed by Isuzu-chan." Hayate explained with a grin. "I hope it works."

"What's it suppose to do?" Akira demanded and tried to get the paper off her face. She found, to her dismay, that she couldn't.

"Have fun! Inori-sempai told me to tell you to meet her on top of the rooftop after you've put that on." Hayate said. With a wave, the runt walked across the hallway and disappeared down the stairs. Akira closed the door to begin changing into the dress, all the while dreading her eventual confrontation with Sae.

Akira stared at the doorknob and willed herself to do a hundred-eighty degree turn. Her body refused, and instead, her hand reached for the knob, turning it gently.

"Merry Christmas," Sae spoke softly, smiling at her genuinely, much to Akira's surprise. She had expected a more…mocking one.

"Merry Christmas," Akira replied half-heartedly.

"You can remove that compulsion charm now."

Akira obeyed, making a note to warn Amachi about Inugami-san. That child would be a worthy opponent in the Hoshitori, if she was allowed certain things. Like those damnable compulsion charms, Akira thought furiously.

When she finally had a clear view of Sae, she couldn't help but gape a little. Sae wore a full suit—button-down shirt, jacket and all. She closed her mouth and opened it again, but no sound came from her.

"Red suits you," Sae said, a smile tugging at her lips.

Akira blushed slightly. Grudgingly, she admitted she quite liked how Sae's clothes shaped her figure well. It'd be nice to see her wear something like that once in a while, Akira mused. She blinked in surprise at her own thoughts. Oh damn! These clothes! They're-they're turning me into a girl!


Part Two: Zombie Apocalypse

Ayana wasn't quite sure how she got there. The details were hazy at best, almost as if she had been drugged and dumped in this strange area against her free will. She stared down at the sword she carried with one hand. It was the blade she used for Hoshitori, except there were some distinct differences. For one thing, it was covered in blood…

An inhumane scream brought her out of her thoughts. She looked around wearily, really seeing her surroundings for the first time. She stood in the middle of a road, with abandoned cars scattered across the area, arranged in what appeared to be a rather horrific accident. She clenched her sword tightly and started moving towards the source of the sound.

What she saw almost scared her. Almost. Unthinkingly, she adjusted her grip on the blade and decapitated the twin zombies approaching her. Blood covered her glasses. With the sleeve of her shirt—she thanked whatever deity was up there that she had the forethought to wear something other than her uniform—she wiped the blood off and looked around. What could she do? Stay here and wait for someone to rescue her? Her nose wrinkled at the thought. That was altogether too stupid an option. She walked forwards, not really caring the direction of her travel. Her brain registered landmarks though she didn't try to understand the why of the entire situation. She just…took in.

She heard someone coughing and surveyed the place through narrowed eyes. She had stumbled into a small park, complete with swings, monkey bars and a mini-fort with a slide at the end. She took a step forward and felt something wrap itself around her waist. "Oh shi—"

She felt the wind knocked out of her as the long tongue dragged her backwards, making her stumble and fall on the ground. Curse words fell from her lips as she struggled to break free. Suddenly, she heard gunshots and felt the hold on her loosen. Hands roughly pull her upwards as she readjusted her glasses.

"You look like a mess, Ayana," Yukari observed dryly, offering Ayana a handkerchief.

"I feel like a mess," Ayana admitted. Somehow, it felt alright to talk to Yukari. She looked at her former shinyuu and saw none of the usual hostility from those eyes. Those eyes…

"Your scar," Ayana stuttered.

"I have a scar? Ah, I must be worse off than I imagined. Damnable zombies." Yukari shook her head and sighed exasperatedly. "Well come on, Mudou, follow me. That is, unless you want to stay here and be eaten." She gave Ayana a side-long glance and shrugged.

"What was that you killed anyway?"

Yukari reloaded her Desert Cobra and regarded Ayana with hardened eyes. (Ayana wondered fleetingly how she knew Yukari was holding a Desert Cobra but put that aside as another mystery she would eventually solve, as she didn't have time to worry about petty questions.) "That was a Smoker."

"A what?"

"Honestly, you don't have to know," Yukari answered offhandedly. Ayana watched her with curious eyes. It felt weird, this Yukari standing before her. She was less hostile, and seemed more willing to talk to Ayana. However, the cold manner she had towards Ayana after that Fight was present still.

"I guess," Ayana answered lamely and trailed after Yukari like a lost puppy. After what seemed like forever—but was really just a few zombie decapitations later—Ayana asked another question, "How is that Senpai of yours doing, Kamijou-san was it?"

"Who?" Yukari asked irritably.

Ayana blinked. Wrong question, I guess. "Are you still angry at me for what I did? With that fight against Ensuu-san and Meiko-san I mean?"

Yukari expelled a long, exhausted sigh and turned to face Ayana, "I'm not angry with you. I don't even know who Ensuu-san and Meiko-san are. I'm just in a very terrible mood because I have been killing zombies for the past few hours and I have no idea how to get out of here."

Wait, so that Fight had never happened? Ayana opened and closed her mouth in shock. A guttural roar made them both look to their left where a Charger was running towards them, its huge, disfigured arms swinging back and forth. Instinctively, Ayana pushed Yukari out of the way and slammed the tip of her blade against the Charger's stomach. She flew backwards and hit her head against concrete. Hazily, she heard shots from the distance. Everything seemed to rumble for a few seconds as the beast dropped to the ground. Then, silence.

Someone brushed her hair aside, prompting her to open her eyes and stare at Yukari's soft expression. "Thank you for saving me." She felt a pair of lips press against her forehead and jerked into wakefulness, almost falling off her computer chair. Her room was dark, save for the computer screen in front of her where an invitation was flashing urgently, calling for her to join another round of zombie-killing. She frowned and rubbed her forehead.

"Well, damn."

In large, bold letters, the random campaign generator almost seemed to mock her with the words, "Surprise Me" written on the silver chrome button. She nursed her suddenly aching head with one hand, and looked outside the window with melancholy eyes. What a surprise indeed.


Part Three: Swordplay

Hitsugi went into another succession of thrusts and parries, the sword she held in her right hand too quick a blur to be caught by ordinary eyes. Sweat trickled down her face, but like most things, she paid little attention to it and continued moving, one blow after another. Once in a while she would break the current sequence to start a new one, adapting to her shadow opponent's attacks. With an exhale, she stopped abruptly, her sword's tip resting gently on top of Shizuku's head. "Hello," she spoke breathlessly.

"Hello," Shizuku replied with a slight smile. "Do you need someone to practice with?"

"That would be most beneficial. Thank you, Shizuku."

"No problem."

They fell into a comfortable silence as Hitsugi began to attack Shizuku. The younger of the two, for her part, answered every one of Hitsugi's blows with two of her own. From observation, Hitsugi knew that her own hits were far more accurate, though her shinyuu's were stronger and faster in comparison. Well, she thought in amusement, strength alone will not win a fight.

The minutes ticked by slowly, but Hitsugi enjoyed herself despite the long duel. Spending time with Shizuku was always a pleasure, no matter what the conditions were. She almost regretted not having any music nearby. That fight with Hoshikawa-san was quite amusing with some music on, and she found the beat of the song to be very refreshing. Perhaps she could even find some rhythm to follow, as Misako-san did for her fights. Ah, but what kind of music would Shizuku like to listen to as they clashed blades? She almost voiced her query out loud, but thought better. Shizuku might lose her focus if she asked so odd a question, and right now, Shizuku was fighting quite beautifully. Hitsugi didn't feel like startling her beloved shinyuu.

Her thoughts turned to Mikado-san and Inori-san, the S-rank pair who had been eyeing her position for months now. Perhaps, she thought amusedly, I should start planning music for my fight with them. Their reactions would be interesting to see, sure enough. Oh, but she had done this with Hoshikawa-san already, so they might expect her to do the same thing. She would become too predictable. Pity. It was a nice thought to consider, but she was above repetition. She liked to think that she could be creative when it came to irritating her opponents.

She was too preoccupied with her thoughts to notice Shizuku break from the current pattern of blows, enter within her defence, and send her sword flying. For a moment, she allowed the shock to show in her face, before the mask of calm hid her true emotions once more. "Bravo, Shizuku. What a splendid performance," she said enthusiastically, rubbing her wrist gently.

"Thank you, Hitsugi," Shizuku replied shyly. "I've been developing that for a while now." She paused, searching for the right words to say. Eventually, she settled for a simple, "Merry Christmas."

Tatewaki, who was listening outside the family dojo, growled and tried to open the door. Unfortunately for her, one of Hitsugi's maids restrained her and kept her from entering. "Let go of me. I need to stop Shizuku from making a stupid move with Hitsugi-sama!"

She heard a delighted squeak from inside and struggled harder. "Damn seductress!"


Bonus:

A wail pierced the silence, making Ayana turn around, training her shotgun towards a crouched figure.

"A Witch!" Ayana muttered under her breath. She hated Witches. One shot at them and they come running towards you with a one-hit kill.

She looked around, her mind already mapping out a route for her to escape while she would rain bullets at this despicable creature. Satisfied, she aimed carefully, and braced herself for the coming onslaught.

"Wait!" A voice cried out of nowhere, making her lose focus. The bullet missed the Witch by a metre.

"Ayana, what the hell were you trying to do? Kill Wanko?" Momoka-san demanded.

Ayana blinked. "I thought she was a Witch…"


A/N: Madness. I wrote this in a state of madness. :P Haha.

I normally don't like dream fics, but I wanted to write an Ayana/Yukari moment without having to disband the current pairings. Plus, it gives us an idea of what Ayana actually wants: communication from her former shinyuu. I might write a second fic exploring that someday. Haha. Sooo many ideas. Methinks I might even write an HxB/L4D2 crossover someday. A full-blown one. Haha.