Author: MoiraShipper

Summary: Uncanny X-men. The moment when Charles receives Moira's dear John letter, breaking their engagement.

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Chapter 1-Killing me to love you

I, I'll bring you home, it's been so long

Aah we're fighting the light back to where you belong

It's growing faster than you've grown

Now you're stronger than yourself

I'm fighting for you

I'm hiding for you

But it's killing me to love you

Killing me to love you-Vancouver Sleep Clinic

"Dear Charles, forgive me for writing this letter while you're at this terrible place, but I can't take this anymore, wait until you're back. No, this isn't true. I won't be able to tell this in your face, I can't marry you, Charles. I'm giving you back our engagement ring back. Don't ask me why, just respect my decision and move on, because I'll do the same. Moira."

God, it's been a month since Moira's letter, but it still hurt the same because now, more than ever, Charles knew that she'd been the love of his life and he had lost her, to Joe, after going to the war.

Now he was flying back to Oxford, to an empty apartment, full of memories of Moira and him, a hole in his heart and the ring in his pocket. Sometimes he wished he could be man enough to erase the memories he had of her, but he just couldn't do that, they'd had great and magical moments together, the precious nights exchanging words of love... Even though now this love was killing him.

Why, why had she changed her mind about them?

In a week Charles would be leaving for war so he and Moira had been spending all the time they still had together. Charles was sitting in the bed, feeling nervous while watching Moira in the bathroom, brushing her hair before joining him.

In his pocket he held a ring he intended to give to the woman of his life. He loved Moira more than anything in life and wanted to make her happy, she was beautiful, smart, had a big heart and, had accepted him, even knowing he was a mutant, but he was nervous, even had seeing in her mind that she felt the same, he knew it wouldn't be easy for them, with the war and, with her father that didn't like him.

"So serious, Charles..." Moira said, curious, sitting in front of Charles and touching his face gently and kissing his lips, before asking: "Thinking?"

"In how much I love you, love." Charles told her, sincere and the beautiful smile she gave him melted his heart and she murmured, touched, still smiling:

"I love you too, Charles... You make me so happy..."

And Charles smiled, leaning over her and kissing her with passion, being invaded by her scent that drive him crazy. Moira raised her other hand to his shoulder to hold herself, while Charles held waist, caressing it int he kiss's rhythm and she parted her lips for him, greed for his touch.

The telepath caressed her waist, feeling her tremble while held his shoulder tighter and he brought her body to him, being invaded by her thoughts of him, until they broke the kiss to breath and Moira leaned her forehead against his, blushing and they stayed like that for some time until Charles looked at her:

"And i promise to always make you happy." He told her, serious, taking her hand that had been on his cheek, while taking the ring from his pocket, his heart racing and Moira's eyes widened, feeling the air leave her, touched, while staring at him.

Charles took a deep breath, staring deep in her eyes, feeling her nervousness, the same he was feeling and then, he gave her hand a squeeze, calming her and he said decided, his voice soft and sincere:

"I know I'm leaving for war, but I'm decided to marry you when I go back, to have you by my side, always happy, if you want it too Moira, love."

"I..." Her voice tremble for a moment and then, she opened a beautiful smile and said, feeling the happiest woman in the world: "I want you, Charles."

"I know you don't want me to ask you, but... Why, my love?" Charles whispered, gripping the letter with the ring, his eyes sad while seeing Oxford appearing between the clouds and for a moment, one of them reminded him of Moira's face, so beautiful and full of life, her hair framing her face and shoulders.

He released his breath, trying to avert the cry threatening to escape from his throat. Even though he d decided to do what she had asked him to, he still was going to the wedding that afternoon, even if he was going to stay outside the church, keeping his distance, because he needed to see if she was at last happy. He didn't care about himself, but about her.

Charles laid his head back against the armchair of his seat and drunk quickly his whiskey, feeling it burn his throat, protecting him from feeling the pain and sadness and then, in the clouds, he saw Moira's face again while her red lips whispered:

"I'll always love you."

"Me too. Even if this love is killing me."

"Well... it was you who left first." The face whispered bittersweet, leaving Charles in shock and sad..

TBC...