"You're in high school again."
-Nirvana, School
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Emmett's POV
Ungh. First period science sucks with the power of a turbo vacuum cleaner. Jasper's next to me, but he's no fun; he's just staring out the window, watching the rain. Pondering on why 'vacuum' is spelled so retardedly, I rummage through my backpack disinterestedly.
What's this?...Ok, why the crap did Esme get me a pack of twenty Sharpies? Why would I ever need twenty Sharpies over a time period so short that I wouldn't be able to go buy any more? They're not even colored. Damn.
I pull out one of the Sharpies and doodle on scrap paper a bit. I smudge some ink on my thumb as I'm drawing. I sit up and look at it. The smudge looks somewhat like a face. I draw on it more. My thumb is now a Smiley Face.
I nudge Jasper and proudly show him my masterpiece. He stares at me nonplussedly for a moment and then looks back at the window.
I am righteously angered. How dare he dismiss my work of art so carelessly! I'll show him. I quickly draw a an Angry Face on my middle finger. I poke Jasper again and show him the Uncontrolled Anger of Angry Face.
Suddenly the teacher is looking at me – glaring, actually. "Please refrain yourself from doing that in my classroom, Emmett," he says, and turns back to the chalkboard after another stern glance. I realize that I'm visibly sticking out my middle finger to Jasper. Quickly I stuff both hands behind my desk. Jasper snickers, too quietly for the teacher to hear, then leans back and stares inattentively at the chalkboard.
I decided not to waste any more of my fingers on Jasper, who appeared to be unfazed by my mastery of human expression (but is secretly burning with envy over it; believe me, I know my family). I will give up my futile attempt to please others (or provoke them) in order to pursue a much more fun career of self-indulgence. Along with Smiley Face and Angry Face, I add Worried Face, Sad Face, and Apathetic Face. I make my Faces interact with one another and am having a lot of fun until I realize that half the class is staring at me, though fortunately not the teacher this time.
I realize, as all men must eventually do sometime in their lifetime, that I must look like a flaming retard with faces drawn on my fingers. These Faces must be eliminated before anyone else sees.
I carefully draw over each Face with Sharpie until no sign of a face is left. Each Face reacts differently to this extermination. Smiley Face accepts it as inevitable and is at peace with it. Angry face is pretty pissed about it. Worried Face frets about what could happen after being colored over. Sad Face is depressed about it. Apathy Face doesn't really care, as far as I can tell.
But, looking at my hand now, having black fingertips looks pretty dumb, too. I'm going to have to Sharpie the rest of my hand, too. And having one black hand is pretty ridiculous, isn't it? I'm going to have to Sharpie my whole arm. And having just one black arm?...
Boy, good thing Esme got me the package of twenty Sharpies. I'm gonna need them.
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A/N: Yes, in fact, I have done this at least twice during school. The smiley face part, at least. I usually follow it up by having my fingers interact in inappropriate ways, to the amusement of my friends.