status complete
background takes place on episode 80
warnings angst, fluff, language
pairings kakashi/anko
disclaimer i do not own naruto
notice in the anime, the woman is not anko, but yugao uzuki
DROWN WITH ME
The entire nature wept today.
The sun didn't seem to want to come out today. Dark clouds were gathered upon Konoha, pouring their heart out. Rain was not such a common phenomenon in the beautiful Leaf Village. However, when it rained, it rained hard. And today had the honor of being one of those days.
The village suffered the loss of a great man, the Third Hokage. A honored man and respected person was now gone for good, joining the people who had also given their lives for this village through the years. Carrying out his duty as the Hokage to protect the village, he died in a fight against his former student, a person he had so much faith in, Orochimaru.
The ninja population of the entire Fire Country was gathered atop of the Hokage Tower to honor the memory of the Sandaime. Some shinobi among them were crying, while others simply wondered, why? The heavy rain drops soaked the present shinobis in the Third's funeral. Even the heaven was weeping for him.
Nevertheless, one individual was missing from the ceremony. He was never known for being punctual, that was a fact. But he wasn't disrespectful, either. Like every single day in his miserable life, before doing anything else, he would go visit the Memorial Stone; specifically his best friend, Obito. Uchiha Obito, his deceased best friend. He really was one of a kind. Always late and always getting into trouble. He was the most hyperactive Uchiha ever and probably one of the bravest people he'd ever meet, if not the bravest.
People said, he overheard one day, that he was a disgrace to the mighty Uchiha clan. It hurt to admit it, but once even he agreed with them. But he knew better now. He knew the truth. Obito was not a disgrace. He was a person that the Uchiha clan, or whatever is left of it anyways, should be proud of; a true hero. Yet, they could never understand such deep thoughts. To them, power and strength was the only thing that mattered. Emotions were for the weak. He was sick of them. Luckily, Itachi wipe them off. Pathetic and helpless idiots, that is what they were.
Today was no exception for the silver-haired man. He was standing still in front of the dark stone, letting the rain soak him to the bone as he let old memories flew into his troubled mind, confusing him even more and making his brain ache.
He wasn't sad because of Sarutobi's death. Instead, he was angry. Angry, for the way life would always be unfair. Angry, because they had to put the village before their own lives, having to leave behind their beloved people. But he knew that this is the way it is supposed to be. This was the ninja life. IT could be taken away from you instantly. Without warning. No exceptions. Ninja life could be described perfectly in one single word.
Sacrifice.
It was all about sacrifices. Haven't he made thousands, or even millions or sacrifices for the sake of Konoha. How many times wasn't he on the verge of dying for the village? But it didn't matter because he was still alive.
And that's what made his anger boil in his veins. He was free to live his miserable fucking life and watch his friends, comrades, people he cared for, sacrifice themselves each passing day and him not being able to do nothing about it. A spectator. That's what he was. A fucking passive spectator. And he hated it.
As absorbed as he was in his thoughts, he didn't realize her walking up at him and standing right next to him. Her sandaled feet made no sound as they came in contact with the wet grass. In her arms was placed a bouquet of white flowers; Flowers of Hope, they called them. She was clad in the black outfit ninjas wore in funerals, just like he was.
He, on the other side, became aware of her presence only when she kneeled down and placed the flowers in front of the stone while bowing her head in sign of respect to the fallen. Her hair was tied in the same spiky ponytail from all those years ago. Short purple strands falling gently on her forehead. He thought she seemed… beautiful.
"Better make it quick; the Hokage's funeral has already begun," he whispered. Slowly, he turned around and focused on staring into space.
"And you, Kakashi? Instead of constantly inventing new excuses for being late, why don't you simply come here earlier?" she asked, not really waiting for a proper reply. By now, she had learnt to read him, even with his mask on.
For a couple of minutes, that seemed like an eternity, the only thing that could be heard in the field was the soft sound the rain created as it made impact with the ground. However, Kakashi's voice broke the formed silence.
"I did. I've been here since dawn," he spoke solemnly.
She stood up and turned around, mimicking his actions and standing still, facing his back. She didn't spoke. She just stared. Stared and stared at the man who had suffered so much in his life. He always seemed so distant, like it was impossible to let someone go through the wall he had built around him all these years of his lonely life. She could understand him, in a way that is. Losing both your best friends, your master and your parents in a pretty young age wasn't exactly what you could call a happy childhood. He got exposed into the cruelty of the real world when he was still a child. But then again, so did her.
Her childhood wasn't happy at all. Actually, it was anything but happy. Orphaned before she could even turn ten and abandoned by her sensei not long after that scared her young soul in more than one ways.
"This place… makes me think of the mistakes I made in the past," he paused as if to catch a breath, "and I've made so many of them."
His voice came out with difficulty. It sounded almost… broken. No. It couldn't be! He was Hatake Kakashi, the mighty warrior; he wouldn't just break down like that! And especially in her presence. On second thought though, he was still a human being. A tortured soul. Someone who learned what true life is while being a child. She knew he still blamed himself for the deaths of his ex-teammates. But, she couldn't stand seeing him broken. It was over her powers.
Anko inched closer and placed her hand on his shoulder. He didn't stiff. Instead, she noticed that his once fisted palms loosen a bit. His breathing came out slowly. Each exhale resembled a regretful sigh. He knew he was crying. His salty tears rolled down on his mask, mixing with the already present rain. He didn't quite know why, but this timing felt so right. He could let it out, and she was the right person. She was the person he needed at the moment.
"Everyone makes mistakes, Kakashi. It's a never ending thing in life. You can't be perfect, no matter how hard you try. Mistakes are made because of our choices. And they too, define who we are. And you," by now she came in front of him and cupped his left cheek with her warm palm. Her chocolate eyes read his emotions into his single black one through the rainfall, "Kakashi, you are a great person. You've made your mistakes, them being small or big, it doesn't matter. But that doesn't change who you are! You are still Kakashi, the one I have always admired and will always marvel."
His thin lips formed a weak but genuine smile, and he hoped she would be able to spot it. He instantly knew that those were not words of sympathy or vaporings, used just to lighten the mood. She didn't pity him. She meant every single word she told him. Really, she had a thing for him. Always admiring his skills and even mimicking his hairstyle only in a more feminine way to match her style. She almost idolized him. She looked up to him as someone special and he loved it.
He loved how she would always be that straight forward person. So tough on the outside but yet so fragile inside. She was… just like him. Keeping the stiff mask on, seemingly unbreakable, but ready to smash it within seconds in moments like this one. Anyways, those things were left untold. And it would be better if it remained this way. However, his mind worked in collaboration with his heart right now and he didn't realized what he was doing.
It felt like he was a spectator, again. Observing the duo from a close distance. Watching himself tardily raising his hand, pulling down his black mask and leaning in to catch her lips in a soft kiss. But he was not observing, he was acting in. It was him kissing her. In a moment of weakness, unable to control his messed up mind, he kissed her. Perfect.
But, somehow, she knew. She was aware of the fact that this was a moment of impuissance. He was vulnerable; one wrong move and he would fall to pieces. So she kissed him back, knowing he needed this right now. But to her, even though she'll never admit it, this soft and loving kiss meant so much more. His soft lips placed on her own, oh so tenderly, it made her insides melt under his touch.
They broke apart due to the lack of oxygen and she let him bury his head in the crook of her neck. Her dripping spiky ponytail tickled his exposed nose but he didn't seem to mind at all. His eyelids closed. Her hot breathing warmed his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her, keeping her close to him, as if being afraid of losing her. It calmed him somehow, to listen to her steady breathing. Mimicking him, she drew him closer by snaking her own arms around his neck. This position, this moment they all felt so right.
He whispered something softly into her ear, something that sent shivers down her spine. It was something in between a muffled 'I love you' or a genuine 'thank you'. Either way, she appreciated it.
It wasn't only minutes after that her mind traveled to the reason she came to this training ground. Of course, she wanted to honor the fallen, whose names where written on this stone; her parents' names where on it after all, but she also came in search for him, knowing he would be here.
Gently, she unhooked her arms and pushed away, only a little, and found herself perceiving his exposed face; the face he hid from the public. Thin lips, strong chin, perfect cheeks, flawless skin… he was pretty handsome. Actually, he was the most handsome man she had ever faced. He gave her another smile, more real than the first. She couldn't help but return it. Afterwards, she pulled his mask back up, not before leaving a peck on his lips. She loved the feel of his lips on hers. She took his large hand on her small one. Giving it a light squeeze firstly, he nodded.
"Let's go. I bet the Third wouldn't want us missing," she whispered quietly.
"Off we go then," he agreed, feeling better than before. Now he could tell. She was the one.
The Sharingan user finally understood that every end is a new beginning. For each life that is taken, another one is given in return. And he knew that heaven wasn't crying for the fallen, but signaling that as rain brings the rainbow, like that death bring a new life.
They walked, hand in hand, towards the Hokage Tower, to pay their respects to Hiruzen Sarutobi. A true hero who sacrificed himself for the sake of his loved ones, to give all the shinobis a reason to keep holding on, no matter how difficult life may seems sometimes.
And as Kakashi stared at his purple-haired companion, he instantly knew one thing. In his time of need, when everything seems to go wrong, when every light seems to disappear, when he seems to be losing his way… Anko would always be there to help him find it again. Forever.