I was bored one day, and addicted to TicTacs, and I though, Remus is stressed before/after the full moon. Maybe TicTacs would make it all better?So then this crazy little thing popped up. Warning: Some OOCness. My apologies. Warning 2: Profanity.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, and if I did, the rat wouldn't exist. *hisses angrily*

Rated: T. Profanity.

Summary: Remus is getting more and more stressed, so the Marauders try to do something about it. Unfortunately, things don't go very well.

Stress, Slinkies, and TicTacs

'Prongs, haven't you noticed anything?' Sirius was amazed by his friend's obliviousness.

'Anything? Well, I noticed that my bed is over there, where it belongs, and the windows are open, and you're asking me a stupid question, and --'

'Okay, okay, shut up! I get the point. I mean, anything about Moony.'

'Well, um, he's stressed?'

'Exactly!'

'Um, Padfoot, Prongs, what are you talking about?' Peter tripped over the portrait hole.

'Remmy! He's so stressed and annoyed these days.' Sirius said.

'Isn't he always? I mean, before the moon?'

'Well, yes, but he's more stressed.'

'And what exactly do you intend to do about it?'

'Prongs, first, not 'me', but 'us'! And second, we are going to find an anti-stress thing.'

'Right…'

'Yep.'

'Are you sure about this?'

'Listen, Wormboy, we are Remus' friends, and weare not going to stand aside while he is stressed. Hmpf.'

'Well, okay.'

-o-o-o-o-

Remus was annoyed, and stressed, and fatally bored. There was nothing to do. He had homework waiting, yet Madam Pomfrey insisted that he stay and rest. He moaned, and rolled to his left. New curtain to stare at. Wonderful.

-o-o-o-o-

'Ow!'

'Pads?' James stared at Sirius, who was rummaging through a box he seemed to have conjured. 'You okay there?'

'Yep, I got it!'

'Got what? Your sanity back?'

'He never had any.' Peter quipped, also staring at his friend.

'Hey! I resent that! And I have...' Sirius paused, 'the object that will cure Remus of his boredom...'

'What?' Peter leaned forward eagerly.

'A slinky!' Sirius pulled out a large, childishly coloured spring.

'What the hell is that?'

'Some muggle thing. It's cool though. I mean, look at this!' He moved his hand up and down, and the slinky bouced.

'Oh...'

'My...'

'God...'

'IT'S A SLINKY!!' Both Peter and James pounced.

-o-o-o-o-

Remus heard weird noises coming from the Gryffindorcommon room. He entered warily, to see Sirius, James, and Peter all fighting. He raised an eyebrow.

'What the hell?' he asked.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius was knocked to the ground, and he couldn't breathe.

'Mrrwwf!! Mrrwf!' Sirius yelled. 'MRRRRWWWWWWWWWWWFF!! FRRRFF FRAAWMWR!'

'What?' James sat up, looking extremely disheveled.

'I said, get off me! And then I said, fuck you!'

'Oh. Okay then. I'm off. Now, why did you want to fuck me?'

'Shut up!! That's not what I meant!!'

'What the hell?' All three boys looked up, startled, as Remus entered. He glanced at them all lying on the ground, and the object in Sirius' hand. It was small, brightly coloured, and plastic. It was a slinky. He decided he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know.

'Remmy! Look what I,' Peter and James glared at Sirius. 'I mean, we, got you!' Sirius held out the slinky. 'Isn't it wonderful?'

'Um, it's a slinky.'

'Yeah! Exactly!'

'Why do I need a slinky?'

'To play with! Like this!' Sirius wobbled the slinky. James and Peter giggled. Sirius looked at it worshipfully.

'Ahh... well... hmm... I'll be right back, okay? I left something downstairs.' And with that, Remus left.

Sirius, James, and Peter all resumed fighting over the slinky. James wrenched it out of Sirius' hand, then Peter pummeled him. Then Sirius made his move. He roared a battlecry, and flung himself at Peter. Peter screamed, and the slinky flew out of his hand.

Straight out the window.

The three boys froze. Sirius jumped up, and ran to said window. He looked down.

'Crap.'

James and Peter joined him at the window.

'Uh oh.' they said simultaneously. The slinky lay smashed into tiny colourful pieces. Sirius burst into tears. He had been very attached to it.

'That was Moony's present!' Sirius moaned.

'Uh oh.' they said again.

Remus chose that very moment to walk back in. 'Sirius?' he asked, concerned.

'Remus! It's gone!' Sirius choked out between sobs.

'What's gone?'

'Mr. Slinky!'

'You named it?'

Sirius nodded. 'I'm sorry, Remus, I'm so sorry!'

'Sirius, it's okay. Everything will be fine.'

'No!! We smashed your slinky!'

'Sirius. Look up, please.' Sirius reluctantly turned his head to see Remus produce something small and colourful out of his pocket. It was a mini slinky. Sirius stopped crying.

'Ooh! We'll name you Slinky, Jr.!'

'Happy early birthday, Pads.'

'For me?' Sirius turned to look at Remus incredulously. 'Mine? Slinky, Jr. is mine?'

'Yep. And I'll show you something better than bouncing it up and down.'

'What could be better than that?'

Remus took the slinky, gestured for Sirius, James, and Peter to follow, and lead them to the nearest staircase. He plopped the slinky on the floor, and pushed it down the stairs. Sirius watched in amazement as the slinky turned over and over again. James and Peter were equally stunned. The slinky landed gracefully at the landing.

'Oh...'

'My...'

'God...'

'IT'S A SLINKY!!' Sirius, James, and Peter ran down the stairs after it.

-o-o-o-o-

'I feel guilty.' Sirius admitted to himself that night. His excitement over the slinky had worn off, and now he felt guilty. Slinky, Jr. still lay in his bed, though. He had been supposed to get Remus something to calm his nerves. But instead, they had played with the slinky alday. Luckily, it was a Saturday, so they had no classes. He thought back.

~FLASHBACK~

'Prongsie, look!' Sirius shouted as he pushed the slinky down the stairs again.

'My turn next!' Peter complained. Remus merely smiled, but he looked amused at his friends' immaturity.

Taking turns, they had all pushed the slinky down the stairs, until McGonagall came up.

'What is all this noise? Really, can't you play quietly?' she asked.

'But, Professor, it's a slinky!' Sirius exclaimed, holding up the evidence. 'His name is Slinky, Jr.'

'Junior? What happened to Slinky, Sr.?' McGonagall asked, playing along.

'Well, there was a... uh... most unfortunate accident where... um... Slinky, Sr.'s life was most unfortunately lost.'

McGonagoll smiled at the boys' childish antics. 'I see. Well, maybe you could be a bit quieter, and no one will bother you. Also, Slinky, Jr. will not go deaf.'

'Okay, then!'

~END FLASHBACK~

Sirius sighed. He got up, and moved to James' bed.

'Prongs, we have to find something else.'

'Wha--?' James muttered, half asleep.

'For Moony.' Sirius did a quick silencioon James' bed. 'We were supposed to find something for Moony, not push a slinky down the stairs all day.'

'Hmm...' James sat up. 'We'll try again tomorrow. After all, tomorrow's Sunday. Another free day.'

'That I'll probably spend pushing Slinky, Jr. down the stairs.' Sirius muttered. 'Okay, then. I swear that tomorrow, I will not push my slinky down the stairs. Night, Prongs.'

-o-o-o-o-

~Sirius' Dream~

Sirius and Remus played with both slinkies. (A/N: Is 'slinkies' even a word? If not, then what is the plural of 'slinky'?) Slinky, Sr. hadn't been smashed, and now Sirius was the proud owner of two slinkies, because Remus had refused to take Slinky, Sr. away from Sirius. When they went to lunch, everyone stared at Sirius with envy, all wishing that they owned a slinky. Then, horror of all horrors, Severus Snape pulled out three even more colourful slinkies. Eveyone turned to admire it, and Sirius screamed.

~End Sirius' Dream~

'Sirius! Sirius, wake up! It's not real, it's just a dream! Siri, don't worry, don't scream, it was just a dream.' Remus moved to Sirius' bed, and shook his friend. Sirius was pulled out of his nightmare.

'Oh, Rem, thank Merlin!' was the first thing he said.

'What happened?' Remus asked.

'Well, at first, everything was perfect, and you and I were playing with the slinkies, because Slinky, Sr. hadn't smashed, then we went to lunch, and everyone admired the slinkies, and were all jealous, the Snivellus Snape had three slinkies!'

Remus successfully masked his amusement. 'Don't worry, Siri, it was just a dream. Relax.' At that word, 'relax', guilt bombarded Sirius. It was he who should've been saying that to Remus as he tried to hide his evident stress.

'I'm sorry!' Sirius said.

'Sorry? Sorry for what?'

'Sorry for being a wimp, sorry for disturbing you, sorry for--'

'Shut up, Pads. Be sorry that you had a dream that you're guilty over. Now get over it, and come down to breakfast.'

-o-o-o-o-

Breakfast went by, and Sirius, James, and Peter continued to search for something. Weeks passed, and nothing. Lunches passed, with nothing remotely resembling the strange happenings in Sirius' dream. The next full moon came and went. And the one after that. Nothing.

-o-o-o-o-

Owls flew into the hall, dropping letters and parcels.

'Did you guys get anything?' Peter asked, as he opened his letter.

'Yeah.' James replied. 'Just the usual update on news at home, though. Nothing thrilling.'

'Same for me.' Sirius said.

'Yeah, same here-- hey, I didn't notice that...' Remus said.

Remus,

Just updating you on all the going ons. Nothing exciting, so don't worry about anything. How are things? Do your friends know? I hope you're sleeping well, and maybe during the summer break you could invite your friends over, if they know. Or if they don't, just a day or so. Oh, and that box? The orange one? It's filled with muggle sweets called 'TicTacs', and I thought you might like to try them. If you like them, send word, and I'll owl you a larger supply...

Remus finished reading his letter, it was nothing special, but still, it was always good to hear from home.

-o-o-o-o-

The boys walked up to the common room, and Remus clutched his box. He looked at it closely. It seemed to be filled with little pills.

'Remmy, now will you tell us about that box?' Sirius moaned. He'd been bugging Remus for the entire duration fo breakfast, and to no avail.

'As soon as I know they're not poisonous. If I die, don't touch them.' Remus opened the box, and put a white thing in his mouth. His eyes widened. And widened.

'James! I think they're poisonous!' Peter squeaked, looking worried.

'Wooooooowwwwwwww...' Remus said.

'I think he's seeing heaven!' Peter said, with evident concern. 'DO SOMETHING!'

'No... don't...' Remus swallowed his TicTac. 'It's amazing! Try one!' He offered one to each of his friends. They glanced at each other, shrugged, then ate them.

'Oh...'

'My...'

'God...'

'IT'S A TICTAC!!'

Sirius, James, and Peter leapt at Remus, with eyes only for TicTacs.

-o-o-o-o-

'HEY!' Remus yelped as he wsa smothered, and knocked to the ground. 'Get OFF!'

'Hand over the TicTacs to the Almighty Lord Padfoot of Almightiness and Amazing Muggle Sweets!' Sirius shrieked. Remus began to think that maybe the TicTacs weren't such a great idea, at least not for Sirius.

'No! These TicTacs are the rightful property of Emperor Moony of the Land of TicTacs and All Things TicTac-ish!'

'Those 'TicTacs' will be property of Professor Minerva McGonagall if you don't be quiet.' McGonagall's voice came from the portrait hole.

'Okay, Professor, we're sorry.' James spoke from underneath Peter.

'I will not mention this again if you pay the price.'

James gulped, Peter looked wildly around, Sirius looked a bit worried, and Remus paled.

'Give me a TicTac.'

The friends looked at each other, and Remus got up to give McGonagall her TicTac. She smiled, popped it in her mouth, and left.

'She's not so bad.' Sirius said. 'And we found the perfect stress-killer.'

-o-o-o-o-

Dad,

Thank you for the news, and the TicTacs. They were wonderful. Thank you.

Remus

-o-o-o-o-

The next day, TicTacs came by owl.

Thanks for reading, and there will be more one-shots, and please review!