A/N: You know what? I just realized that here I minimized crack, and wrote fluff and angst. Beat that!

Disclaimer: Why is it that no one in FMA but Hawkeye can keep hold of a pet for more than five minutes? It's insane, especially when what would really help most would be a nice, long snuggle with something warm that really, beyond reason, irrevocably loves you. Have to admit the fluff is really nice, too. But honestly – they could all use a sweet little – or bigger – fluffy creature. Yet they don't get one, not even Al, who realizes he needs one. And I seriously doubt that every last one of them is allergic.

If I owned FMA, they'd all have nice fluffy ones, and I bet Roy would angst less because of it. Actually, everyone would angst less if I owned FMA, but even if I didn't and they had sweet little furry things they'd angst less.

The Tapping

"Got something good there?" Havoc asked, after Fuery's unexplained giggles became too much.

Kain's head appeared over the paper he was reading. He was wearing head-phones. "Tapped Roy's line." He explained too loudly.

Silence.

"Why?" Falman asked. "Our darling colonel is boring."

"Not when his phone automatically dials Riza." Fuery replied. "And she has called ID."

There was a sudden scuffle for the headphones.

"Ka-ain!" The cry was panicked. The scuffle paused; Havoc, either a moment behind or a moment ahead, jabbed the headphones over his ears. Denny Brosh burst through the door. "He did it again!"

"Don't hold him like that!" Fuery objected, alarmed, and rushed to snap the kitten from Denny's grasp.

"I don't want them, Savage is more than enough," Denny gushed, naming the cat he had kept, "but they never end!"

"Ed doesn't want you around and Al likes cats." Fuery explained. "It was good of you to keep Savage, but you need to put your foot down."

"But they already hate me." Denny murmured unhappily. Fuery would have hugged him, which was what he really needed, but everyone was watching, and office gossip was killer, something he just couldn't handle right now.

Instead, he turned back to his peers. "Give." He ordered Havoc, holding out his hand. Reluctantly, Havoc gave; the headset was Fuery's, and when Fuery was helping someone, he could be quite willing to call the law on someone.

Fuery passed the headset to Denny. "Mustang-Hawkeye." He explained. To the mystification of the office, who had had to ask, Denny knew exactly what Fuery meant.

"Thanks." He said, accepting the set.

"Carpet." Fuery decided, naming the kitten.

Over the next few days, Denny showing up with a squirming kitten became a common occurrence. So did random phone tappings – Roy-Riza, Pride-Hohenheim, Hughes-Elysia, Envy-Wrath, Breda-girlinthebakery, and Ross-Elric. Denny particularly enjoyed the Tappings, and tended to monopolize the headset. In fact, one day he arrived sand kitten, with only an almost-hot chocolate drink for Fuery; it had only just enough milk to keep it liquid. Fuery was very pleased, and Tapped Roy-Ed for him the next day.

After that, no one noticed when Denny continued to arrive sans cat, except occasionally Savage or Carpet (who he'd chosen to keep), or even when they stayed to talk without a Tapping as an excuse. At least, they didn't notice until the day Denny showed up with salted caramels and Fuery was out sick.

"That man has more sick leave than anyone else I know." Breda complained, explaining to Denny, who was standing particularly straight that day – though that may be because he had given his uniform its monthly uber-cleaning. Once a month, he took his uniform, washed it himself, dried it, ironed it – which was dratted hard, getting around the stupid pattern, and all those identifying features – starched it, and folded it carefully, leaving it overnight tucked among a field of sachets. This was the day after this routine.

Denny ignored Breda. "Sick?" He asked, devastated. Falman nodded, chewing on a caramel. "Where does he live?"

"Thanks for the caramels, Sergeant Brosh." Breda added, chewing. That was one of the things Denny hated about the military – Sergeant Brosh. He was used to being Denny. Everyone knew Denny – he was fun, exciting, the life of the party. Until he joined the military, that is, when he was suddenly Sergeant Brosh and no one knew him. Except Kain – Kain always called him Denny.

"24 Mark Street." Havoc informed him. "In Resembool."

Denny left. So, on a larger scale shortly after, did the Elrics, for a visit home.

When Denny found Fuery's house, he realized why Fuery was in the military so young. He had to be. Like Denny, his family wouldn't be able to support itself unless Fuery was. Denny didn't mind; he just found the right apartment and knocked on the door.

Rather to his disappointment, it opened. And the person behind it wasn't even Fuery, but a girl even younger than he was. "Yes?" She was asking before she even saw him. Then, "Oh. You came after Kain."

"Sort of. May I see him?" Denny asked.

"He's sick." The girl replied. "On sick leave. It's allowed. Go away."

"It's not like I came to retrieve him." Denny assured her. "I just want to see him. Check on him. See if he's okay."

"He's fine. He just has a cold." She sounded like she'd set it a lot before. "Go away."

"I swear, I'm not going to do anything to him." Denny repeated, annoyed. "Just for a little bit."

"You can't. He's –"

"Denny?" Kain's voice, from within, sounding anything but sick.

"Kain?" Denny asked around the girl.

"It's okay, Seal (1)." Kain called. "You can let him in. Denny's okay. I don't mind."

"But Kain, he's –"

"Come on, Seal." Kain told her. Reluctantly, the girl let Denny in, and directed him to Kain.

Aside from being in bed, Kain looked perfectly fine to Denny. He was reading – or rather, keeping up with his paperwork. The only thing that might be wrong with him, so far as Denny could see, was that he was feeling guilty for abandoning his team.

There was a chair by the bed. Denny sat down. They were silent for a long time. Denny wondered if he should bring up Savage or Carpet, just to get things going. Why was it they never had so much trouble talking at the office?

Because Kain spoke first, Denny thought. Or spoke, anyway. He didn't just sort of – lie there. Out of uniform.

Maybe the Elrics would be a better topic. Talking about how Al had finally stopped foisting kittens on him.

Or the usual thing, when you visited sick people. How are you feeling. Except that Kain looked undeniably healthy. A bit pale, maybe. Maybe. "You look fine to me." He said at last. For some reason, Kain started crying.

Denny didn't know why Kain was upset, but he knew exactly what to do about it. He stood up and switched surfaces, gathering the small man into his lap. Kain grabbed him and kept on crying into his shoulder, all over his newly cleaned uniform. The one Denny kept carefully clean for the first few days after its uber-cleaning. Kain was getting tears and snot all over it.

Denny didn't even realize this, though. He was too busy holding Kain, and watching him, wondering what was wrong and how he could help. That was as far as he could think, with Kain in his lap, especially when Kain was crying. He didn't notice that the girl, Seal, came in a fit of fury (2) to protect Kain, but stopped when she saw them both, either. After a moment, she left.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly. It was the wrong thing to say. Kain started crying more loudly.

"It's not that I'm not a man, I swear it's not, and I'm really, really good, and I can fix anything with wires, I know I can, especially radios, any way I want them, but I'm not just some sort of awful shrimp who's only got his mechanics, when I was little I was bigger than everyone else, I fought, and I could beat everybody else up, I swear I could, and I still would now but I can't, but it's not because I can't, I just can't. I mean, it's not that I can't fight, I can, and it's not that I can't shoot, Hawkeye says I'm getting really good, but I can't fight. And I'm going to like girls, I'm just not old enough yet, and Havoc says whenever I'm ready I can get as many as I want and he should know, and Falman agrees, and Falman's got experience. And I will, I swear I will, and maybe someday I can fight again too, and Breda says if I ever got into a fight I'd be really good at it, Breda sometimes says I'm good at everything, but that's just flattery, but I am good at fighting, I just can't. It's not that I'm a bad fighter or a wimp or a pacifist or something, it's just that I honestly can't, it's too dangerous, not for other people, just for me, and it's not fair, and I still do everything, I really do, or almost everything, I don't fight anymore, and it's probably a good thing, I just wish that I could." He sniffled.

"Why can't you?" Denny asked, and just as he expected, Kain started wailing again. Denny just sat and held him while he cried and babbled and got tears and snot everywhere. This time, he sat quietly until Kain slowed down, and started sniffling more than he wailed, and eventually stopped wailing at all.

"I think I'll go back to the bed now." He told Denny quietly, hoarsely. Denny nodded and set him down, returning to the chair.

"You really want to know what's wrong?" Kain asked, and Denny came close to getting up again, as it looked like he was going to burst into tears once more. Instead, he nodded. "You can't tell anyone, though. Not anyone. And I'll know." And he knew he should tell, that he couldn't trust Denny, Ross had told them that Denny couldn't keep a secret, and he couldn't lie, but somehow Kain didn't mind. And he was going to trust Denny.

"I won't tell." Denny assured him, quietly, calmly, without a hint of eagerness to get at a secret. He just needed to know, Kain thought, just needed to understand.

"I have hemophilia." Kain explained. "Once I start, I can't stop bleeding. Not for a really, really long time, anyway, so I have to go home. Or alchemy might help, maybe, but no one's really sure, and I'm not about to ask Flame or Fullmetal. Particularly when it's so – so stupid!" He wanted to punch something. He chose the pillow.

"It's not stupid." Denny assured him. Kain looked at him, red-faced from crying, and tired of hearing it whenever he told someone, and seeing them just – just look at him, with that horrible, horrible look. Only Denny didn't look like that; it was just another thing about Kain to him. "I had salted caramels for you, but Falman, Breda, and Havoc ate them all." He explained. "Sorry."

"S'okay." Fuery replied.

"It is not. I made them myself." Denny replied. "But I can make more. Kain, I love you."

Dimly, in the analytical part of his mind that was always there, and that he had thought was always dominant, except maybe when he had to talk about hemophilia, Kain thought that this would be why Denny didn't get that look everyone else seemed to give him. But that part was very, very small at the moment, and getting smaller; Kain was too happy being with Denny right now to pay any mind to it.

(1) Seal, short for Celandine – or possibly Celia, Cecily, or Cecelia, whichever you prefer. She's one of Fuery's younger sisters.

(2) Kekekekek. I made a punny.