In this world you tried
I remember it was yesterday and the Toph sang at the funeral. And the smell of damp earth as I threw my plot of dirt in the hole. And that was all I remember about it. It was the only time I'd ever heard Toph sing, will ever probably hear Toph sing probably.
Not leaving me alone behind.
Only time Toph has ever seemed remotely angelic. Like a tiny powerful wind-chime. I breathe out and snap open my eyes. The room seems suddenly even colder and more complete in emptiness. The light blue ceiling is smudged with soft gray in sections. Aang had a knack for painting walls. I turn my head sideways and look at my digital clock. 7:42. And I'm not going to work today. I say matter-of-factly to myself. I've never missed a day of work before. My boss is a bony faces old woman who's been direction of the dance academy for the past 21 years. Told me not to worry about the show. I nearly dropped the phone.
My eyes droop slightly to the photo next to it on the nightstand.
There's no other way.
Aang with his arms draped playfully over my shoulders in black and white. This one is from a few months ago when he was still mobile. Bald as ever from chemo. The doctors thought it was getting better he might even be going into remission soon.
I prayed to the gods let him stay.
That's when everything came crashing down. How the doctors missed it we would never know. And it was too late now.
I roll back over onto my back. Come to think of it I don't think I'm going to get out of bed today either. My vision clouds tremendously with tears like spring waters fountaining from the earth.
We sat cross-legged on central park a bench. "There are worst things than dying Katara," he mumbles softly, squeezing my hand. Snow falling all around us silent as an angel's footsteps. Coating everything like icing.
The memories ease the pain inside,
Icing, it was white over red velvet, we/he made it to 24. 24 candles, 24 kisses, 24 smiles, 24 hugs, 24 days, 48 guests but the 2 months, were coming to an end.
Now I know why.
Why he had gray and violet patches underneath his eyes. Always wore a beanie and fleece jacket even in the house. Why he bought me a cat two weeks after the diagnosis. He quit his day job even before he had to and wrote short stories for an online magazine for a third the pay.
All of my memories keep you near.
"Why did you get a cat?" I stammer wide-eyes as he hands it to me, "You're allergic!"
"Yes but you're not." He calmly retorts sitting down the couch cross-legged.
"SO!" I yell," YOU ARE and the doctor said you should stay away from anything that could compromise your immune system!" "How could do this Aang what would make so stupid!?!" I stare pleading at him. He just shrugs and smiles slightly. "I thought it would give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning after..." he trails off. I feel the life drain out of my shoulders and hands. The briefcase and back pack slip to the floor.
Several weeks passed with the help of allergy medicine and coffee. I watch him sitting at the table with a cup of hot chocolate and a mound of colored papers. Making origami figures like he's 12 years old again. The cane leaning up against the table. His skin like he hasn't seen sunlight in decades…
In silent moments imagine you here.
I breathe in and out again slowly. Trying to steady myself, I'd cried enough over the past six days. I close my eyes, my breathing becoming relaxed and softer. The water mattress beneath me feeling even more comfortable. The thoughts fade out into nothingness in my mind. The worst part was that Aang just accepted it and acted as if it was normal to slowly die.
All of my memories keep you near.
"Mow." I feel little furry paws paw at my face. My eyes creep open. She's on my hair. "Mow." A poufy white face gazes down at me. Her twinkling gray eyes curious of why I haven't fed her yet. "Myiko." I groan. "Mow," she replies smugly. Perfectly sure that now that's she's woke me up that she's going to be fed.
Your silent whispers, silent tears.
I grin slightly at the site of the kitty on the next pillow beside me. We buried Aang with his.
Made me promise I'd try
...and then his hand went limp.
I swing my feet over the side of the bed. "Come on Myiko," I say defeated.
To find my way back in this life.
"Mow." She replies happily
I hope there is a way
The smell of warm vanilla fills the air. Like it did when my mother had been baking.
To give me a sign you're ok.
Take care of him up there for me.
Reminds me again it's worth it all
I mouth standing up.
So I can go on.
All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments imagine you here.
All of my memories keep you near.
Your silent whispers, silent tears.
Together in all these memories
I see your smile.
All the memories I hold dear.
Darling, you know I will love you
Until the end of time.
All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments imagine you here.
All of my memories keep you near.
Your silent whispers, silent tears.
All of my memories....
Author's note-
This is a songfic request from proudkataanger off of Kataangforever. Yes I'm still doing requests. Look on my profile and you can see more of my work. I can do just about any song you want.
Song: Memories
By: Within Tempation.
I hope you liked it.
I OWN NOTHING I SAY NOTHING *cough*