He'd been distracted all day. Staring blankly across the bullpen, watching the void of someone who was no longer there. Who would never be there again. They all knew why.
They didn't even try to snap him out of it, knowing that this day would be more difficult than the rest. Abby had given him extra hugs. McGee shot him sympathetic glances, and took on more of the investigative burden than he normally would, knowing his head wasn't in the right place. Gibbs was strangely sympathetic, only headslapping him once the entire day; more for ceremony than punishment.
He was sitting alone in the bullpen despite Gibbs' assertion that he should go home and get some rest. He knew he wouldn't sleep. So he sat doing the paperwork he should have been doing all day, interrupted frequently by his constantly drifting thoughts.
He tapped his pen against his desk, looking across the gap to her perpetually darkened corner. The darkness filled his heart, causing it to clench painfully once again. He couldn't help but miss her.
He stood abruptly, walking across the gap. He sat in her chair heavily, setting his palms down on her still empty desk. He sat there for a moment, moving his thumbs gently across the smooth surface, It had been six months since she had sat at this desk. Six months since she had been in her rightful place across from him, and by his side.
He look across the void to his desk and thought about how much time he'd spent over the past eight years just staring across the gap, watching her. He thought It was probably more time than he'd like to admit. He wondered how much time she'd spent doing the same thing. He'd caught her a few times, as she had him, but he wondered how much time she'd spent watching him when he wasn't looking. He was sure if it was as often as he did, they'd spent more time at these desks watching and pining for each other then they did working or actually being together.
He sighed, licking his lips. So much wasted time.
His desk phone broke the silence. He grumbled in frustration as it interrupted his thoughts. He stood up abruptly, grabbing the receiver with more force than he intended.
"DiNozzo," he said sharply.
There was only silence on the other end.
"Hello?" he said, slightly irritated.
"Tony." a soft voice said.
"Ziva?" he breathed.
"Yes." she said, her voice cracking.
He was immediately alarmed. "What's wrong?" he asked urgently.
"Nothing. Nothing is wrong," she said, trying to hide her emotions.
"I can hear you crying, Ziva. Please tell me."
Silence fell for a moment. He could hear her thinking.
"I…am a little overwhelmed."
"You want to tell me why?"
"Just…you."
"Me?" he asked, worry mounting in his chest.
"Yes. Hearing your voice…I just…I miss you so much."
He sighed, his panic receding and his heart aching. He lowered himself into his chair. "I miss you too." He paused, "Can I ask why you called?"
"It is my birthday."
"I know. I sent you an e-mail earlier. I didn't know if you were still checking it or anything but…you know."
"I received it."
"Good," he said with a small smile. He played with a pencil on his desk. Conversation after three months was not easy.
"I called because it is my birthday, and though I do not often celebrate it…I wanted to give myself a gift this year."
His heart pounded a bit faster.
"All I wanted was you."
He heard her sniff quietly. He took a breath, trying to keep his own tears at bay.
"You've always had me."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"I am a firm believer that there are no sorry's on your birthday."
"But…"
"Don't make me quote Gibbs' rules to you, David."
"Some other time, then."
His heart soared at the thought of there being a 'next time'. Silence fell again. Not a comfortable one, but pensive.
"So…How have you been? Tackling anything on the list yet?"
"Not just yet. I have been traveling. I have yet to make it to Ireland, but I have been outside of Tel Aviv."
"Tell me about it," he said simply.
For over an hour she regaled him with stories from her journey, and he from their time apart. Though according to her the process of healing had only just begun, she had made a little progress in the right direction. He told her he was glad, and tried to find amusing stories to match hers. They laughed, genuinely laughed, for the first time since they'd been separated. His heart lightened at the sound of her voice, her laugh. And though he ached to see her, touch her, it alleviated some of the constant pain he'd been suffering since he'd left her.
"I missed this," she said honestly. "I missed you."
"I'm only a phone call away," he replied.
"I know."
He thought for a second before taking a leap, "And wherever you are, I'm sure the plane trip would be worth it."
He could hear her shy smile. "Perhaps sometime soon."
"Just give me a time and place and I'll be there."
"Thank you, Tony. For everything."
"Anything for you," he said softly.
A moment of silence. "I love you." she whispered.
Tears made their appearance once again. "I love you too."
"Talk soon?" she asked.
"Yeah. Whenever you want."
"Okay," she murmured. She didn't want this to end.
"Hey, Ziva?" he said, his voice breaking slightly, knowing their short time together was over.
"Yes?"
"Happy Birthday."