What would you have done?
Martha stood in her room, her eyes closed. She couldn't stop it, no matter if she opened or closed her eyes -- all she saw were flashes of what might have happened. She opened her eyes and saw a missile hurtling through the air toward the limousine. She closed her eyes and saw the face of the man through the bulletproof glass. The hatred on his face as he fired at the car door. Squeezing her eyes tight and shaking her head to try and get rid of the images that were haunting her she saw Aaron's bloodied head as it lay back on the rest. Holding her hands to her eyes, she shook as she remembered thinking he was dead, thinking she was the reason he had got in the car. Wondering how she was going to live with his death on her conscience. Or, if she was honest, wondering how she was going to get through the day, the week, the year without hearing his voice again. His voice...
Pulling her hands from her face, she opened her eyes and listened to the conversation she could hear muffled through the wall. It was him. Pulling the blanket she had had wrapped around her body and throwing it casually over the chair, she walked to the end of her room and opened the door. Peering out in to the corridor, she saw she was right; he was standing talking to another agent, a small white bandage on his head the only sign of the horrific ordeal he had just been through. Holding on to the doorframe for support, she called his name.
"Aaron." He turned from the man he had been talking to and faced her. "Why aren't you off your feet?" She moved closer to him. "You shouldn't still be working."
"Well, I feel fine, Mrs. Logan." Aaron turned to fully look at her, amazed that after all she had just been through, she still looked as if she had stepped off the pages of a magazine. His concern for her was vocalized first though. "You should be resting; you've been through a lot today."
"I can't rest right now; I need to talk to somebody about this." She couldn't meet his eyes until the last word and implored him through her gaze to understand and stay and talk to her.
Aaron could see it was him she wanted to talk to, and turned to dismiss Agent Greene with a nod of his head. The other man left, and Aaron turned to face Martha. At the ambush site she had started to talk to him, something about her husband knowing about the attack. Aaron had found this hard to believe, and while not disbelieving her, had put it down to the shock she had just suffered. They both had. Looking at her again, he found himself weakening and wanting nothing more than to comfort her and discuss what had just transpired. But he knew it was not his place.
"Maybe you should talk to the President."
"I don't want to talk to him. I want to talk to you." Her eyes were wide and open daring him to refuse her. "I want to know what you would have done." Her voice was direct, and for a moment he was momentarily stunned.
"Me? " he replied.
"Yes. If it had been up to you…" She faltered as she wondered if she dare continue with this line of questioning but keeping her gaze fixed on his, continued. "Would you...have warned the motorcade?"
Aaron knew his answer came out formal and stilted, but his military training and Secret Service protocols could not allow him to answer any other way. "I'm not familiar enough with the situation, Ma'am."
Taking a quick gasp of much needed air, Martha thought to herself, ever the professional. But that wasn't what she needed right now. While she had been grateful for his protective role in the ambush, now all she wanted was his honesty. "Charles was in a terrible position, I understand that. The terrorists had threatened to release nerve gas if he warned the motorcade."
Aaron nodded gently, still wondering exactly what is was she wanted from him. "Well, that is a dilemma."
"What would you have done?" Martha never let her eyes drop from his for a second.
As Aaron stared back he could feel himself weakening under her scrutiny. What would he have done? He would have never let his wife to be put in that position in the first place. He would have moved heaven and earth to ensure her safety. But she wasn't his wife. And he still found himself answering in a manner befitting his job title. "I can't speculate."
Without missing a beat, Martha retorted, "Try."
Aaron felt the last shred of propriety fall away from him as she continued to talk. "If you had been in my husband's position." She could feel the beginnings of tears coming to her eyes and swallowed them down, her chin trembling slightly. "What would you have done?"
Noticing her bottom lip quiver as she asked him the question, he knew he should not answer. Aaron thought back to the limousine. Hearing her screams had woken him from his stunned state. Hearing her scared and vulnerable had scared him more than his next actions. Taking out the three hostiles had been his job, protecting her had been his job. What was not his job were the emotions he felt whenever this woman was around him. Opening his mouth to give the repeated "duty" line, he looked in to her eyes again and decided to tell the truth. "Whatever choice I would've made..." He stopped briefly then said what he had wanted to say throughout this conversation. "I could never allow you to come to harm." Martha looked momentarily stunned. Her eyes had until this point been boring a hole into him. Now she relaxed a little as she ingested the information he had just shared. "Now, that's not a very presidential decision, I know, but it is the truth."
Martha felt her jaw drop slightly at what he had just told her. She had known that it was his sworn duty to protect her. But what he had just said had seemed as if they had come from his very soul. Feeling slightly uncomfortable, she found all she could do was stand there. No matter how much she wanted to, and probably needed to, she found she could not draw her eyes away from his. Just as intently, he stared back at her. She felt a hundred emotions run through her body as she just stood there. She knew she should say something, but no words in her head sounded right. She needed to say something. She needed to...
"I should go, Mrs. Logan." Aaron's voice broke through the daze she found herself still in.
Staring back at him, she didn't want him to go -- she needed him to explain what he had just said, she needed to understand why her stomach had disintegrated into a menagerie of butterflies. She opened her mouth to beg him to stay. She didn't want him to go, and worst of all, she didn't know why. She began to talk..."Okay…" she managed to get out. Aaron nodded at her one final time, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity turned away and broke the gaze they each had been holding.
Watching him walk away from her, Martha heard a voice inside her head screaming, "Okay... is that all you can say? The man just saved your life, just told you he would have put you before thousands of other lives, and all you could think of to say was...okay!" She turned to go back into the safety of her room, away from the electricity she could still feel bouncing between them in the plain corridor. She couldn't leave it like this...hell, she wouldn't leave it like this. Not knowing what she would say, but hoping she could come up with something a little more profound than "okay," she spun on her heel and turned to watch his back disappear out of her sight. "Aaron, wait!" she shouted, her words seeming awfully loud in the empty hallway. She watched as he stood in place for a few seconds then slowly turned to face her.
Aaron once again found his eyes locking with hers. He wondered what it was that made him feel they were the only two people in the world, when they were alone. He watched her for a few seconds. She said nothing, but after what felt like an eternity she slowly closed the gap between them.
Martha stood facing Aaron and still couldn't find the words to express how she was feeling. She slowly reached up as if to touch his face but found herself pulling away. Standing her ground, she took a deep breath and whispered. "You mean that, don't you? You really would never have let me come to any harm." She found herself looking into his eyes and wondered again how this man, who had only known her for such a short time, could do what her husband could not. Put her first. And she knew deep down that what he had said was not out of a duty to protect and serve, but out of concern for her. For her wellbeing. She knew what Charles had done, he had done for the good of the country, but what Aaron was saying was that she would always come first with him. And that scared her. She wasn't sure why but it scared her. Turning away from his scrutiny, she found herself looking at the floor. "You know, after all that has happened today, to hear you say that meant so much to me, Aaron." She shifted like a nervous teenager and continued her inspection of the carpet. "I have just felt today like no one actually cares about me. About what I say, about what I do. And to hear you say that, it..." She looked back into his eyes. "Well, it means a lot. Thank you."
Aaron found himself thinking that he wished she had continued her stare at the carpet as her words turned his face red. He did, however, meet her gaze again, and smiled at her words. He had meant every one of them. He only wished he had the courage to say more. He remembered earlier when she had begged for his help at the stables, and again his face flushed as he thought back to how he had just let them take her away. "I think, Mrs. Logan, that I owe you an apology."
"An apology?" Her face was confused.
"Yes, you asked for my help only a few hours ago, and I wouldn't listen to you. I am truly sorry that I did not do more then."
Martha smiled at him, and this time allowed her hand to drift up to his flushed face and gently stroke his cheek. "Yes, but you thought I was crazy, then."
Aaron opened his mouth to protest but Martha placed a finger over his lips. "No, it's alright, Aaron. I would have done the same thing in your shoes. You were following my husband's orders and I do understand." As she said the words "my husband," she pulled her hand away from his face and stepped back. What was she doing? Alright, so she was pissed at Charles. But that didn't give her the right to flirt blatantly in their house with the head of her Secret Service detail. She inwardly chastised herself.
Noticing her obvious discomfort at their close proximity, Aaron also took a step back. "I should go, Mrs. Logan," he said, repeating his earlier statement. But as he said the words this time, he allowed a small smile to flicker across his lips.
"I know." Martha replied warmly, her words full of a deeper understanding. Watching him turn to leave she couldn't resist one final comment. "You know the countrys lucky to have men like you Aaron, I'm lucky." She allowed herself to grin as his face glowed a deep shade of red again. She turned and walked back into her room. She hugged herself and laughed softly. Maybe today wasn't such a bad day after all.
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