Rating: T for Alcohol Abuse
Spoilers: Rising
Pairings: John/Teyla, Elizabeth/Lorne
Summary: Teyla reflects on her life.
Disclaimer: I own none of the Stargate stuff nor do I own the words to Labelled with Love, they belong to Difford and Tilbrook
Authors Notes: Another Difford and Tilbrook song given the Atlantis treatment and yes poor old Sheppard is in the wars again but the words seem to fit him.
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She unscrews the top of her new whisky bottle
And shuffles around in her candle-lit hovel
Like some kind of witch with blue fingers in mittens
She smells like the cat and the neighbours she sickens
Drinks to remember I, me and myself
Winds up the clock and knocks dust from the shelf
Home is a love that I miss very much
So the past has been bottled and labelled with love
Teyla uncorked the bottle of Tava brew she kept on the table by her chair and poured herself a cup, which she downed in one. She despised herself for doing it, many years ago she'd vowed she'd never become the same as her husband. But now, millions of light years away from his ghost, she was doing exactly the same. The weather was getting cold again, she poked the fire, lit candles and pulled on the threadbare gloves that she'd kept as a memento from that other life she'd had. Her neighbours called only when they had to, out of a sense of duty to see if she was alright but they never stayed, they were too ashamed of her past.
She poured herself another cup of Tava brew and drank
"I am still Teyla Emmagen daughter of Tagan, I am still someone, I do not need anyone," she said as she drank again. She picked up the clock Elizabeth Weir had given her as a present when she'd left Atlantis many years ago, she sat in her chair and wondered if that had been the start of her downfall.
During the wartime an American pilot
Made every air-raid a time of excitement
She moved to his prairie and married the Texan
She learnt from a distance how love was a lesson
He became drinker and she became mother
She knew that one day she'd be one or the other
He ate himself older and drank himself dizzy
Proud of her features she kept herself pretty
He had come to her village seeking safety, they were explorers from another galaxy and they had found the lost city of the Ancestors but it was in danger of being destroyed. The leader was an arrogant man who looked through her as if she were made of glass, his subordinate, John, was a much kinder, compassionate man whom she warmed to immediately, unfortunately they bought the Wraith with them and she had been captured along with John's commander. John and his men had come back to rescue them and had taken them all back to the city of the Ancestors to live in safety.
There had been many battles against the Wraith as well as the Genii and the Asurans after one battle he'd been seriously injured, so seriously that he'd had to be sent back to his home planet. He hadn't wanted to go without her so he'd asked her to marry him, she had said yes and before she's left to join him on Earth the Athosian priest had married them against the wishes of the village elders, as they had not wanted her to marry an outsider let alone a man from another galaxy.
She'd moved with him to his homeland of America and had married again according to his traditions, she'd insisted even though John had said once was enough. Things had been fine at first he'd recovered from his injuries but had had to leave the air force. He'd managed to find another job, teaching mathematics in a High School and she'd found work looking after children in a day care centre, she'd found living on Earth hard, Earthlings were very reserved in their emotions, even John seemed repressed sometimes.
A few years passed and she had their only child, a boy they'd called Aiden after Ford. John had started to drink, not heavily at first but most evenings he'd had a drink in his hand. She'd joined him in drinking sometimes but she didn't want it to take over her life as food and drink seemed to be taking over John's, she was proud of herself and kept herself in shape in the hope John would notice.
He like a cowboy died drunk in a slumber
Out on the porch in the middle of summer
She crossed the ocean back home to her family
But they had retired to roads that were sandy
She moved home alone without friends or relations
Lived in a world full of age reservations
On moth-eaten armchairs, she'd say that she'd sod-all
The friends who had left her to drink from the bottle
Many years later and drink had finally killed John, he had died in their garden a victim of Alcohol poisoning, so Dr Cassie Fraiser had said. Their friends from Atlantis and the SGC had attended John's funeral, Elizabeth and her husband Evan Lorne had been the first to come to her when the news reached them in the Pegasus Galaxy. Ronan and his wife, a Satedan woman he'd met during a trading trip, Rodney McKay, Radek Zelenka, Cameron Mitchell, Sam Carter and Laura Cadman had also come to pay their respects. Months after the funeral she'd asked General Mitchell if she could return to Pegasus, he'd agreed and contacted Elizabeth and Evan's daughter Emma who was now the leader of Atlantis and she'd made all the arrangements so when she'd returned to the city of the Ancestors her friends were waiting for her. They'd offered her a room in the city but she'd wanted to go back to her people, she hardly knew the people of the city anymore and she didn't want them to feel they owed her any charity.
Jinto had greeted her at the gate and offered her a home in the village; she compromised on a house on the outskirts, as she didn't want to feel like a burden to anyone. She found out later that Jinto had fought hard to have her accepted back into the village as, even now; it was felt that she'd betrayed her people.
Teyla picked up the bottle and tipped the last of the Tava brew into her cup. Her friends were gone, Elizabeth, Evan, Radek and Halling were all dead, Rodney was on Earth being cared for by Madison and Ronon was living on a rebuilt Sateda with his own family. Jinto came to see her once a week; he was the only one who did out of anything other than duty. Teyla raised her cup to the universe
"Sod you all, I will join you soon," she said.