I have always had an enormous, prying, infatuation for the relationship of Haruka and Michiru. I mean, who wouldn't? Michiru is by far the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. And Haruka, well, let's just say the day I met Haruka, I had my first wet dream as well. My infatuation with Haruka is but lust, but my attraction to Michiru is far more significant than sexual pleasure. I've longed to kiss Michiru ever since I first saw her put on lipstick. Her eyes carefully observed every move, and when she caught me gawking at her, those amazing blue eyes softened and she winked at me. I fell head over heels in love. Not that I would ever have a chance with Michiru, who is happily devoted to Haruka. And not that I would ever have a chance with Haruka, who has eyes only for Michiru. But my mere fascination has led me to the thought of myself becoming like them, becoming a lesbian.

I know it's a sudden shock to all of you. I mean, I * do * have a boyfriend and what not, but I just can't fall be in love with someone who doesn't put as much time, effort, admiration, or even respect in me as the other partners around me do. He doesn't appreciate me, he doesn't love me, and he doesn't realize that his kiss means nothing to me anymore.

I'm also going to admit that I'm terribly frightened of the prospect of being alone. I'm not a very aloof person. I need company. I need warmth. I need someone. But alas, there is no one.

Such a pity.

Moreover, not many people will be too accepting in my sudden proclamation to be gay. Also, I don't know that many gay people. My sunny, bright, disposition conceals my newly discovered sexuality. And I'm okay with that. Because it can't get out.

I don't know what I'd do if it got out.

What would my parents think?

What would my friends think?

What would Mamoru-San think?