The invitation has sat on her kitchen table for two weeks; she picked it up and for the hundredth time, read:

Penny and Guest

You are warmly invited to a presentation of the

Stephen Hawking Award for Physics

To Dr Leonard Hoffsteader

At the University of Oxford, England.

R.S.V.P

After their last break up she'd moved to England; run away really. She'd just packed a weekend bag, thinking she'd see her parents and be back in a few days but she'd got to the airport and panicked. What if he bombarded her with calls and emails or worse, Leonard followed her out this time? So completely on impulse, she'd gone to Sarah's, her old school friend who lived in London. The return ticket emptied the little bit of savings she had but she knew she needed time away. No pressure, no phone calls, no Leonard. That was nearly 4 years ago, and she was still here. Her life was unrecognisable now, and she wouldn't have it any other way. She still house shared with Sarah and her boyfriend; they were disgustingly normal, although Dexter had that British humour that she loved; it reminded her of the guys, slightly wry, a little self deprecating, and very dry. The difference was this time she got it; it wasn't about quantum physics or obscure Star Trek references it was about people, life and just stuff; things that she understood.

Stupid as it sounds, it gave her confidence again not being the only one in the room who didn't understood the conversation, to be around people she understood – she loved the guys, she loved Sheldon's quirks, Raj's shyness and even Howard's sexual overtones to everything, but she still felt like the odd one out. Having Amy and Bernadette around should have helped, more girls balancing out the group, but no. Instead she felt even more like the outsider. Once they started talking about this theory or that experiment, all she could contribute was stale cheesecake.

It wasn't supposed to have been like that. She'd never been the 'it' girl at school but as a cheerleader she'd been part of 'that' crowd; cheerleaders and quarterbacks, sleepovers and prom queens. She was pretty and things came easily to her back then and she thought life would too; but she'd been wrong. She was supposed to move to LA and after six months make a big breakthrough and become a star. She was supposed to be the centre of the party, the heart of the group and the one everyone wanted to be around. Instead she felt like the one people patted on the head and humoured when she said something stupid. Like when a small child announces she wants to be butterfly when she grows up, and all the adults tell her she's beautiful and clever but really they are thinking she'll learn. Well Penny had learned.

She put the invitation back on the counter and grabbed her coat, she sure wasn't in Pasedena anymore, and headed out to work, snatching her keys from the counter as she headed out the door. She couldn't quite get the thought of Leonard out of her head. She wanted desperately to see him again, to see how he was, tell him she was sorry and to make things right between them but she felt awkward, clumsy and maybe just a little too stubborn. Running off like that was stupid but she hadn't known what else to do. She'd tried talking to him, she'd tried not talking to him, she'd even tried yelling at him; but it just made him cling on tighter. Maybe she shouldn't go, she didn't want to give him the impression she still missed him, she had a good life, what was the point of bringing up old heart ache? Not to mention the whole 'and guest' thing was just a trap. If she brought a guy and Leonard didn't bring anyone she'd feel like a bitch, but if she didn't and he did, she'd look like a loser and she didn't want that either. She thought about asking Sarah to go with her but Sarah was far too vocal about the fact Penny kept guys at arm's length, dating a guy once or twice at the most, not letting anyone in, and had often speculated that the reason might be a short guy with glasses, insecurities and a comic book addiction; taking her would be asking for ridicule.

Then she thought of Ben. She'd been riding in an elevator at work about a year ago when a mom and young teenager got in arguing about a birthday party for his cousin. The young man was clearly uncomfortable with going and his mum was trying to cajole him into attending, explaining it was his cousin and it was important. Penny smiled politely and tried not to stare as she listened to the exchange; he reminded her of Sheldon. She listened to his mum becoming more and more exasperated as she was reminded of the time they tried to have a party for Leonard's birthday. They reached the ground floor as mum finally gave up and delivered an ultimatum, that he would attend and he would enjoy it or there would be no more Star Trek in her house – ever!

"Excuse me, but I don't know if you realise," she said speaking directly to the young man, "but it's a non-optional social convention."

The young man stopped and looked at her and blinked as he considered her words, mum not sure what was happening, frowned but said nothing.

"Oh" he replied simply, "well, why didn't you just say that mum" and he stepped out of the elevator.

His mum, stunned into silence for the moment turned wordlessly to Penny, who just smiled back and nodded. "I have a friend like that" and stepped out to the lobby. She finally found her voice and called after her, rushing out just before the elevator door shut.

Janice and Penny chatted in a nearby bookstore cafe for over an hour about Ben and how he was different, how he struggled and about her fears for him. Incredibly bright, he seemed unable to make friends and what the Doctors called attachments to anyone and how he could be literal, and took comfort from routine. In return she spoke of her friend Sheldon; of his obsessional behaviour, she told her he'd broken into her apartment to tidy because the chaos bothered him so much, that he too was very intelligent but couldn't quite manage relationships the way others seemed to. Then Penny told her about Sheldon's friends. That over time he'd built up some strong bonds with people who loved him, even if they didn't always understand him. She told Janice that things would be okay, and that Ben, like Sheldon, could have a happy future but it may not be the future she expected for her son. He may or may not have the 2 kids and a dog and a picket fence but he would find happiness in his own way, and really that's all you could ask for isn't it?

Penny and Janice had kept in touch and Penny had even tentatively contacted Sheldon to ask if he would mentor Ben. Surprisingly, even before the ego boosting comments she'd planned, he'd agreed to correspond with Ben. Sheldon said he understood the pressure of brilliance better than anyone and would do what he could to help someone in a similar position; even if they were planning on studying something as banal as anthropology... Maybe that was the solution. She could invite Ben, not a date; but not alone either. It would be great for Ben to meet Sheldon and well who knew with Sheldon, but she'd give him a call after work and see what he thought. Feeling much better, she threw her energy into her work and started planning what she was going to wear.