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So tell me how it should be..
"If I had to I would put myself right beside you" Were the last words I was able to speak to Bo as they rolled back to the emergency room. My mind circled as I paced the hospital impatience was growing as more doctors and nurses ran into the room like a arm. Each push of the door as they went in and out I tried to catch a glimpse or peep of Peepers. All I could hear was her scream and the blood when the nurses were moving back and forth grabbing whatever carts were in the hallway. The words "Slink we shouldn't have done this" repeated in my head. Maybe we shouldn't have but it was too late now. My hands pulled at my hair as I waited to hear something… Anything. I needed to know Bo was okay, this was all my fault. The doctor came busting through the doors, blood splattered along his surgical gloves and cover. "I'm sorry Mr. McSlink, we couldn't save her." My heart heart broke as the doctor tried to catch before I could fall to my knees. I heard Bo scream out cries of "No!" Tears filled my eyes as I pushed passed the doctor to the room. Bo's heart broken expression as she stared me down when I walked in the room. All that was heard in the room was the heart monitor and the heavy sobs of Bo when I kneeled down to hug her. "I'm so sorry" is all I could whisper out in her ear. There was something getting in the way, something was just about to break and I could feel it.
Since that day Bo and I had been distant. A one night stakeout stand turned into pregnancy which ended in Peepers and I to lose the one thing neither of us expected. The one thing that both brought us together and nearly tore us apart. Bo swore she didn't blame me but the pull away when I'd get close to her told another story. "Don't Slink. I just want to focus on this case." I backed away with my hands in the air, making my way to the other side of the room. We never told anyone about us. Woody, Buzz, Jessie none of them knew or if they did it was all speculation or rumor but Bo and I never stated the relationship between us other than partners. When Bo was pregnant only a small bump showed before Bo was rushed to the hospital for stomach pains, no one but us knew about it and Bo wanted to keep it that way. I didn't even know how she felt about me anymore. Was I just some one night moment now since we lost the creation from our love? We were back to the beginning of just being partners, practically strangers? I sat in my chair trying to find out what made Peepers tick. The expression on her face was cold and serious. Anytime she looked up at me I felt a chill run down my arms at the icy blank stare she would give me. "I don't mind if you say this love is the last time, but don't leave me clueless, Bo. I can't just pretend like nothing happened, so tell me how it should be, Peepers cause I don't know anymore. You act like you want me but you don't. You say losing the baby wasn't my fault but yet I'm still trying to find my place with you." I had lost I didn't know what had came over me but it was too late, the words just spilled out of me. I had broke and felt the room fall dead in silence. Bo just stared at me before looking away from me as a tear rolled down her cheek. I moved from my chair and placed my hand on the door, taking one last look at Bo before walking out of the office for some air. Not one more word left my lips as I hurried by Buzz, Jessie and Woody their stares burned into my back as I pushed the front door open and puked up the upset my stomach felt from the knots of tension between Bo and me.