If You Could Have Anything
Summary: This is a different take on the scene in Season 5 where Lorna ask Nicky, "If you could have anything in the world, what would you have?"
"If you could have anything in the world, what would you have?"
Nicky was in the middle of writing her demands when Lorna's question rang between her ears. Of course Lorna would ask that question. It was such a Lorna question – abandon reality and live in a fantasy.
"Vaginal orgasms, I hear it's a thing," said Nicky, refusing to really acknowledge Lorna's question before continuing to write on her paper. After all she had a better chance of getting her prison demands answered then getting what she really wanted.
It was time to put that dream behind her. That ship has long since sailed and it didn't help secure Nicky's mental health status or her continued sobriety to stand on the dock and wait for it to return back to her.
Lorna sighed heavily next to her, and Nicky didn't need to look up to know the woman was frustrated by her answer. However, Nicky has known Lorna long enough to know that if she didn't give Lorna the attention she clearly wanted, eventually she would drop it.
Nicky moved to the next topic on her demand and was in the middle of writing Re-establish the GED Program when a louder more intense sigh from Lorna had her pausing in her task.
Nicky's pencil paused on the paper and she grimaced, knowing that sigh. Lorna was certainly not her first lover, and Nicky was very familiar with what that noise meant coming from another woman. After all, being a drug addicted girlfriend did not make Nicky the most successful domestic partner. Let's just say, she heard that sigh a lot.
However, Nicky would not be baited. Like she said – Lorna wasn't her first lover. She knew when a woman was looking for a fight.
Grimacing, Nicky forced herself to continue writing but immediately found her pencil forcibly removed from her hand.
Turning towards the pencil thief, Nicky's eyes shot wide at the sight of a very angry Lorna Morello, nay Muccio. Just the thought of Lorna's new last name, got Nicky's blood boiling. This was not the day for Lorna to pick a fight with her.
"Married life has sure made you bold, Mrs. Muccio," said Nicky, an edge to her voice that she had never used with Lorna before.
Lorna's brown eyes lost their heat, instantly recognizing the anger in Nicky's tone.
"You want to tell me what's going on with you?" asked Lorna, leaning forward and staring at Nicky with those big doe eyes.
Damn this woman.
Damn this woman, and her beautiful eyes.
Nicky grimaced, and forced herself to look away. Lorna would not use those soul piercing eyes on her today.
Lorna laughed and Nicky recognized it as her fake, borderline mocking laugh that she did when she was upset.
Nicky throat nervously bobbed – yup, Lorna was getting pissed.
"That's it Nichols," yelled Lorna, slamming her hands and Nicky's pencil on the table, garnering the attention of everyone around them.
Nicky looked around the table, silently pleading with someone to step in and help her but all she got was nervous looks and mocking "you're in trouble now Nichols" stares.
Suddenly, Nicky felt two petite hands on her shoulders and perfectly manicured nails digging into her flesh, forcibly turning her body towards Lorna.
"What is going on with you?" cried out Lorna, even going as far as shaking Nicky. Suddenly, almost as if realizing something she never thought of, Lorna's eyes shot wide as she reached forward to grasp Nicky's face before leaning forward to look her in the eye.
"Are you on drugs again? Is that what this is? Did you take some pills while I wasn't looking?! I told you that you shouldn't be in a room full of drugs!"
Nicky growled at the accusation before reaching up and pushing Lorna's hands away from her face.
"No! I am not on drugs. Paranoid much?"
Lorna eyed her for a second, clearly not believing her right away before seemingly coming to her own conclusion that Nicky was in fact not high, at least not right now.
"Then what is it?" asked Lorna, this time however she kept her voice low, recognizing that their little spat was starting to garner attention.
Nicole let out a groan, rolling her eyes to the ceiling and mentally praying to whatever god was up there to come down and save her from this woman. However after seconds of no response, which wasn't a big surprise since god had never been on her side, Nicky turned to Lorna.
"Nothing is wrong," said Nicky, knowing there was no way that was going to put an end to Lorna's questions.
Lorna pursed her lips, and crossed her arms and it took everything in Nicky's soul and body to not roll her eyes again at the woman's reaction. But once again, Nicky learned from past experience to not roll her eyes at angry woman. The small scar above her right eye brow was now a lifetime reminder of what would happen if you disrespect an angry woman's tirade. That, and a pair of Prada heels may look a woman's ass look amazing, but they can also be used as a weapon.
"Liar," mocked Lorna, "if that were true, then you wouldn't be acting so weird since this riot started."
Nicky let out a dark mocking chuckle at that before turning in her chair and giving Lorna her full attention, a move that in the back of her mind she recognized was a very bad idea.
"Ohh…really?" she said, raising her eyebrow and quirking her lips in a way that she knew from past experience drove Lorna insane. "And how exactly have I been acting?"
Lorna's eyes instantly narrowed on Nicky's face, and bright red lips practically disappeared into a thin red line.
"Don't do that," growled out Lorna, poking her finger into Nicky's chest.
Nicky kept her eye brow raised, and allowed that cocky smirk to fully take over her lips before leaning forward, regardless of the pressure of Lorna's finger against her chest and entered Lorna's personal space.
"Don't do what?" whispered Nicky, dropping her voice down to that husky growl that she knew made Lorna squirm.
Lorna whimpered. She actually fucking whimpered and it took every ounce of will power Nicky had not to pounce on the woman.
Lorna thankfully, for both their sakes seemed to gain her will power back after that slight slip up and pushed Nicky back, a little harsher than necessary before wagging her freshly painted finger in Nicky's face.
"For once in your god damn life Nichols, be straight with me," said Lorna, the woman's face was fierce but her voice was the exact opposite. It was heavily laced with longing, and Nicky could tell the woman was begging, in her own Lorna way.
Nicky's eyes softened immediately, and she dropped the cocky charade before sighing loudly.
"You don't want to do this Lorna."
Lorna's face immediately lost its hardness, and back was the soft Italian beauty that Nicky remembered from all those years ago when she first walked in with her oranges on.
"Nicky…" started Lorna but Nicky couldn't let this continue, she needed to put both of them out of their misery.
"No Lorna," interrupted Nicky, her eyes desperate as she reached out and grabbed Lorna's pencil free hand in what she knew was a death grip.
"You ask me these questions but we both know you really don't want the answers. You ask me to be straight with you – to not lie, but we both know you want me to lie. Because I know, you know that you don't want me to ruin whatever you have going on right now…" Nicky's voice cracked and she had to look away for a second to gather in her raging emotions before turning back to Lorna.
"That's the thing about reality Lorna. You can't have what you want and the truth at the same time. So please, if you want to continue your false sense of marital happiness that you have been shoving down my throat since I came back from Max, then please give me back my pencil and drop this topic."
Nicky's gaze went down to Lorna's hand that was on top of the table to find her pencil in a white knuckle grip. Lorna's hand was shaking, and Nicky was sure the woman would have the indentation of that pencil in her hand for a while after.
"And if I don't give you the pencil, what will you do?" whispered Lorna, bringing Nicky's gaze up to meet her tear filled brown eyes.
Nicky's heart beat widely within in her chest, her eyes going from the pencil to Lorna and then back to the pencil.
"If you don't give me that pencil, then I will be honest with you. Regardless of your feelings, regardless of what I know what you want hear, regardless of how fucked up it makes your life – I will tell you the truth."
The silence that seemed to echo between them was all encompassing, and all Nicky could do is stare at that pencil in Lorna's hand. If this were any other situation, Nicky may have found it comical that the future of her love life would be determined by a fucking pencil.
Suddenly Lorna's hand moved, and Nicky saw the direction in which it was moving and her heart sank. Closing her eyes and warding off the impending tears, Nicky held out her hand and waited for the feeling of wood covered graphite to be placed in it.
"What the fuck!?"
Nicky's eyes shot wide at the sound of Watson's pissed off voice and she turned to see the woman standing in the middle of the cafeteria, her eyes furiously searching her surroundings.
"I wonder what is up with her," pondered Nicky out loud, honestly thankful for the distraction.
Nicky turned from Watson to the others at her table, making sure to completely avoid Lorna's gaze.
"You would think that a prison riot would have loosened Watson up a bit, but the bitch is still wound up like a…"
"Seriously! No one is going to own up to hitting me in the head with a pencil?!" yelled Watson cutting Nicky off and stealing any other words from her mouth. Nicky's eyes shot wide before turning to see Watson standing on the table now, holding what was clearly a Batman pencil in her hand. The very same Batman pencil that Nicky bought from commissary last week. The same Batman pencil that Nicky was writing her prison demands with. The same Batman pencil that a few seconds ago was in Lorna's hand.
Nicky's eyes shot wide at the pencil and she turned to Lorna in shock.
Lorna was currently looking like she was having an internal panic attack, one that she was failing miserably to keep inside as it was currently starting to take form on her face. Wide brown eyes were looking from Watson to Nicky in rapid succession, and her mouth was opening and closing like she was trying to formalize words but nothing could escape.
"Well fuck you then," called out Watson to the anonymous pencil thrower, who Nicky knew was not anonymous. "And I am keeping the pencil!"
Nicky watched Watson pocket her favorite pencil before stepping down from the table to join the rest of the girls taking everyone's demands.
Nicky watched her go with wide eyes before turning on Lorna, seeing that the woman had turned the most delightful shade of pink when she met Nicky's gaze.
"You know that was my favorite pencil, right?"
Lorna turned even redder now, and Nicky couldn't help but laugh, like a full belly – gut wrenching laugh that brought tears to Nicky's eyes.
Thankfully, Lorna began to laugh with her, both of them dissolving into giggles that had them heavily leaning on each other for support.
Nicky was able to recover first, and it was then she realized how close Lorna actually was. The woman was tucked into her side, one arm wrapped around Nicky's middle and her head was resting on Nicky's shoulder.
"Ask me again?"
Lorna giggling stopped immediately, but she didn't remove herself from Nicky's body.
"Ask you what again?" whispered Lorna, tightening her hold around Nicky's middle almost as if she were just waiting for the moment Nicky would pull away.
Nicky reached forward and brushed the hair back from Lorna's face, tucking it behind her ear exposing the tear stains that ran down the woman's cheek. Bringing her hand down once more, Nicky cupped Lorna's cheek and gently guided the woman's face away from her shoulder to meet Nicky's gaze.
"Ask me the first question again," whispered Nicky, her eyes searching Lorna's face for any sign that the woman was about to run.
Lorna's brow furrowed for a moment, obviously thinking back to the first question she asked Nicky before a light entered her eyes when she found what she was searching for.
"If you could have anything in the world, what would you have?"
Nicky smiled as she met Lorna's gaze one last time, before leaning forward and capturing Lorna's lips in between hers. She didn't move to deepen the kiss, or lengthen it, instead Nicky Nichols for the first time in her life gave a woman a chaste, short kiss that was full of promise and actual emotion.
Pulling back, just a fraction so that she and Lorna's breath mingled, Nicky reached up and stroked the woman's cheek. Leaning forward, Nicky gently rest her forehead against Lorna's before speaking.
"That," answered Nicky, "I would have that, for the rest of my life."
Notes:
Well, what did you guys think? Hopefully you enjoyed it! If you did, let me know!